Rookie
by SVUFan4Life
Summary: Elliot Stabler is a well respected cop at SVU. He is forced to be partnered with a rookie whom he despies at first. Then he meets her. Feelings change... E/O
1. Meeting the Rookie

**Disclaimer- I most definitely do not own the characters of SVU. wish i did tho lol**

**%&&$#%$**

"Stabler," Captain Cragen called out of his office. "My office. Now."

Elliot had the impression that he was in trouble for going to hard on a perp.

"What's up Capt?," he asked cautiously.

"Since your partnerless at the moment due to Lake's injuries, you are going to be partnered with a rookie from another district. The 2-7 to be exact. I've looked at her files and from the looks of it she's one of the best they've seen in a while. Her name is Olivia Benson. When she gets here I want you to fill her in on the case we've got now."

Elliot couldn't believe what he was hearing, and exploded. "What the fuck captain? You can't just throw a rookie on me! Not right now!"

"I can and I will Stabler! This is not open for debate. You will deal with these circumstances professionally and if necessary I will bench you. Got it?"

"Yeah," Stabler responded reluctantly.

Cragen sighed. He hated it when he had to be tough on any of his detectives.  
>"You've forgotten what it's like to be a rookie. How hard it was walking in here. The stares, people constantly questioning your abilities and judgment. But now, you've established yourself as a detective so you don't think about the past."<p>

Elliot calmed down a bit. "Captain, with all do respect. I understand where your coming from, but, a rookie?"

"Yes, she will be here in a few hours. Until then I want you to continue working this case. You can go."

Stabler didn't want a new partner, especially not a rookie. He walked back to his desk and continued to work on the case. He was not going to be benched because of his temper and outspoken ways.

Fin and Munch were watching from across the squadroom, and watching Elliot's moods.  
>"How do you think he took the news?," Munch asked.<p>

"Hard to tell right now but I ain't gonna be the one to ask," Fin told him.  
>They continued their paperwork.<p>

All of the detectives were working hard on the case trying to get a lead. The case was only 1 day old and it seemed it was already going cold. Sara Parks, 25, single mother of a 3 year old was brutally raped and beaten by an unknown male. He wore gloves and when he raped her wore a condom. He gagged her using a cloth and also wore a mask.

There were very few clues Sara could give the police as to who did this. She said his eye color was a blue-green and his hair color was a sandy brown color from what she could see sticking out of the mask. He was average height and weight. About 6 feet tall and 200-250 pounds. She said it was to hard to tell his age but if she had to guess it was mid twenties to early thirties. There isn't anyone in her life with that description.

After about 2 hours of all of the detectives looking over possible leads and getting a list of possible suspects and places to visit/search, they noticed a young woman walk in.

Stabler walked over ot her.  
>"Excuse me, can I help you?"<p>

"Uhm, yes actually. I'm looking for Captain Cragen's office. I'm the rookie, Olivia Benson." She held out her hand.

Elliot paused. He was taken aback by his new partner. Her striking beauty. He held out his hand to meet hers.

"Elliot Stabler. His office is right over there." He smiled as he said it, something he didn't do often at work. She smiled back. "Thanks."

He watched as she walked away, now thinking that having a new partner wouldn't be so bad.

Olivia was also thinking about the detective she just met. She walked into Captain Cragen's office and started to speak.

She knocked on the outside of his door while she walked in. "Captain Cragen? I'm Olivia Benson."

"Our new detective, it's a pleasure." He shook her hand. "If you don't mind, I'm gonna have you get started right away. I figured you would be one that can learn as they go. Your partner is going to be Detective Elliot Stabler. He's one of the best we have."

Olivia had to keep her look of composure as she began to speak again.

"We just met. He's the one who pointed me this way."  
>"Great. then I guess you know where your new desk is going to be." He opened the top drawer of his desk.<p>

"Here is your gun and badge. Stabler will fill you in on the case we've got. Welcome to the team."  
>Olivia gave a tiny smile. "Thanks." She grabbed her new gun and badge with a sense of pride and walked out towards her new desk.<p>

**!#^&*()**  
><strong>This chapter is shorter then almost all of the others, but I had to cut it off sometime before things got going to much..Thanks to anyone readingreviewing :)**


	2. Road Trip?

She walked up behind Elliot. "Hey."

Elliot turned around. "Hey. Things go okay with Cragen?"

"Yeah, he said you've gotta fill me in on the case you've got." She sat at her new desk, instantly feeling like she belonged there.

"Alright. Sara Parks. She is a 25 year old single mom. Raped and beaten in her apartment. He wore a mask, used a condom, wore gloves, gagged her with a cloth. She saw some of his eyes and hair. Blue-green eye color, sandy brown hair. Approximately 6 foot tall. He's average weight. 200-250 pounds. She couldn't pinpoint his age but she guessed mid twenties to thirties. No witnesses, and she has never met anyone with that description that she knows of. In other words, no leads."

"I guess not. Okay, did forensics check for hairs?"

"Yes, they found one hair, ran it, only to find out it's not in the system."

"Well, it seems he has done this before."

"We checked. There is no rapist with that MO in the same area or tri-state area as Sara's attack."

It was like a lightbulb went off in Olivia's mind. "Maybe he's changed. Ya know? Needed a new thrill. Maybe he changed MO's to throw us off his trail. He knew enough to wear gloves, a mask, condom. He made sure there was no trace evidence left behind. He's had to have done this before."

After she stated that, Elliot looked shocked.  
>"What about other states? We never checked outside the state."<p>

They both rushed over to the computer and started running the MO through the national database.  
>Elliot was starting to yell. "Damn it, how could we not have checked any states!"<p>

She turned towards him. "You guys were overwhelmed and trying to find solid leads here in this area. It's only been a day, and you are doing it now. That's what matters."

The way she spoke to him, actually started to calm him down. He felt it. Nobody else could do that besides Captain Cragen on rare occasions.

He started speaking quieter and in a more normal tone instead of yelling. "I'm sorry for yelling. I'm just upset I didn't think of that."

Olivia looked at him and responded with a joke. "Yeah, shit happens." They shared a smile.

At that moment the computer started beeping.

Elliot started speaking. "There are 4 cases, in Maine, Vermont, New Hampshire, and Massachusetts. All four of these cases share the same exact MO's except a few minor details. He didn't start using a condom until the last 2 cases, meaning it's possible he left DNA."

Olivia was nodding her head in agreeance, then she noticed something.  
>"Elliot look. These attacks are all up the east coast. Straight down starting with Maine."<p>

He looked at her. "We've gotta tell Cragen. Ready for a road trip?"

"Whoa, slow down Stabler. Who said anything about leaving the state?"

"Once we get this information to Cragen, he's gonna want us on it."

They informed Cragen of the new evidence. "Start packing. I'll call the precincts to let them know your headed thie way. You will leave first thing in the morning."

It was only 6:30 pm, and the detectives had no new cases. Detectives in SVU rarely get a full night's rest due to the demands of the job.

Elliot and Olivia started to leave the precinct. They both had case files in their hands to study up on the case before they left the next morning.

"Ya know, this is the first time I've left the precinct before midnight in months."

Olivia smirked. "Well, maybe I just bring you good luck."

"I sure hope so...Oh my god I just said that out loud." She just laughed while he stood there looking mortified.

"Hey, so feel free to say no, but would you wanna look over the case files together tonight? We're both gonna be up late anyways. Maybe grab a bite to eat?"

Olivia answered, unsure of what he meant. "Uhm, sure. My place or yours?"

"Well, I hadn't thought that far ahead because I thought for sure you would say no. But either one is fine."

Olivia's mind was racing. Her apartment was a mess, and she was also thinking how she had nothing of interest there. She also realized she had no food or drinks. She finally spoke.  
>"Yeah, okay, my place is fine. What do you like to eat?"<p>

Elliot looked at her. "What do you want?"  
>"I asked you first Stabler." She raised her eyebrow with a smirk on her face. Elliot grinned.<br>"Fine, fine. I'd like...food." Olivia laughed.

"And, I'd like to get outta here sometime today." He held the elevator for her.  
>"I agree."<br>"Hey whatta know? Something we can finally agree on." He chuckled. "Okay, seriously Benson. Pick your poison. We got CrapDonald's, Taco Hell, or Chinese."  
>Olivia looked at him. Then looked away before she got lost in his blue eyes.<br>"Uhm, I'm gonna have to say my favorite poison is Chinese."

"Seriously? Me too."  
>They finally made it out to their cars. They had stood in the precinct for an extra half hour talking.<br>"Have you ever had the chinese on 5th street?," Elliot asked.

"It's the best one as far as I'm concerned."  
>"You said it. You wanna ride with me?" As much as she wanted to, she knew she couldn't.<p>

"I've gotta get my car home tonight somehow Stabler. Gotta get to work tomorrow, too ya know."  
>"I could always pick you up in the mornings."<p>

Olivia looked at him, shocked. "And why would you do that?" She smirked at him.

"Well, to be nice, I mean, you are my new partner. And to get to know you."  
>"Trust me Stabler, you don't wanna get to know me."<p>

"I already know your favorite food is chinese, and your a hard worker, and you care about people."  
>"Okay. I will take my car home first, then you can drive me to the chinese restaurant and back to my place. Happy?," she asked sarcastically.<p>

"Very." He gave a cocky grin.

"Follow me," she said as she got into her car.  
>"Planned on it!," he yelled across the parking garage.<p>

**)($*#*!**

**Whose ready for some chinese food ;) reviews are appreciated! :)**


	3. Trust your partner

Elliot went to the parking garage of Olivia's apartment complex where Olivia was waiting.

"Hey, you ready?"

"I guess as ready as I'll ever be for chinese food," she stated sarcastically.

"Okay, I'm just asking to be nice." They got into his car.

"I'm glad you agreed to this."

She looked at him, trying to contain the feelings she was starting to have for him. Then she looked at his hand and couldn't help but notice the wedding ring gleaming in the lights from the streets. "Me too. So, your married?"

"Define the term. Legally yes, but it's a clusterfuck. I want a divorce, we've only been married 7 months, and together for 3 years total. You know that feeling of no matter what you do, your in trouble? I stay late, she's pissed. I get home to early, she's pissed and yells at me that I need the overtime."

She hesitated to answer. "I'm sorry. And, yes, I know that feeling quite well. You think your wife will be mad at you for being late again?"

"Yeah, but if I'm gonna be in trouble I'm glad it's because of you."  
>Olivia's heart skipped a beat. He was really saying these things out loud.<p>

They arrived 20 minutes later to the chinese restaurant, aptly named Ni Hao Thai.

"What do you eat Benson?"

She placed her order. "ABC chicken with extra gravy on the rice please."  
>"And can I get a Hot Thai Beef."<p>

The woman behind the counter with a very thick chinese accent responded, "Foyteen- terty."

Olivia proceeded to pull out money for her order and Elliot pushed her hand back.  
>"I got this one. Consider it a welcome to SVU." He smirked at her.<br>"Okay." She knew there was no point in arguing because she knew she would pay him back later. She could get the next one.

They sat down and started devouring their delicious chinese food.  
>"So, Benson, tell me more about yourself. Have you always lived in New York?"<p>

"Yeah, it was only my mom and me. I grew up near Manhattan." She paused, debating on whether or not to tell him about her past, about her childhood. She was staring down at her food.

He could tell she was holding back, but didn't wanna push her to much so he simply asked ,"What, what is it?"

"Nothing. Food's just hitting me a little hard." She lied. She wasn't ready to open up to him about everything. Not yet.

"So, what else is there that I don't know about you?"  
>Olivia snapped at him, "Oh, you wanna know every little god damn detail of my childhood?"<p>

He stopped chewing, and looked up at her, to see her enraged. "I'm sorry, Olivia. I didn't mean to push. You don't have to. I just wanna know things about you because your my partner. How about I go first. Okay?" She rolled her eyes, calming down a bit as she nodded her head in agreeance.

"Alright. Age 4, my dad is holding me trying to get me outta the house, my mom nearly kills me by shooting at us. Age 8, my mom tries to chase snowflakes with the car at 50 miles an hour in a blizzard. Runs us right into a telephone pole; broke my arm. Age 16 my dad informs me I have to go into the marines. Age 17, my dad is killed in the line of duty. My mom has bipolar disorder, which is why she did all of those 'crazy' things so to speak. Oh, I did end up going into the marines and now I have the marines seal tattoo." He rolled up his sleeve to show her. He said everything without even a little emotion. He was numbed to it.

She just stared at him, looking shocked. He continued.

"I'm Catholic. I swear like a fucking sailor and have an anger issue at times, as you've sort of witnessed. I-"  
>"Stop. Just..stop." Olivia was not upset with him, She was angry with herself for not opening up as easily as she would have liked.<p>

"What? Did I say something wrong?"  
>"No.I...I just can't believe your opening up to me like this after less than a day of knowing me."<p>

"We're partners. You don't have to tell me anything if you don't want."

"I do want to. It's just not as easy, I guess for me open up. It's not just with you. It's with anyone I've ever met in my life."

"Like I've said, it's your choice." She looked in his eyes again, to see sincerity and an open mind.  
>Olivia decided she might as well throw caution to the wind. He could take it or leave it.<p>

"Alright, here goes nothing. My mom was a drunk bitch. Almost killed me numerous times. I had to take care of her most of the time. No, scratch that, all of the time. At age 7 she twisted my arm until it almost broke. She beat me on the nights she wasn't dead asleep, which was about 4 or 5 times a week. I was in the hospital over 50 times in a year for different injuries, that, according to her were all 'accidents of a reckless kid'. At age 17, she took a broken bottle and came at me. So I pushed her back. Hard. She got knocked out. I thought I had killed her. I called the cops. I was in CPS for 4 days, then I went home, packed all I could into a couple bags to carry, and I have been on my own every since. She died 2 years ago, and I can't say that I am really all that sad about it. Oh, here's the best part, she was raped, got pregnant, and had me. Happy?"

She was still looking at him. Olivia was involuntarily tearing up. She blinked the tears away quickly.

Elliot started to speak, in shock about what he had just heard. "No, Liv, I'm sad for you."  
>She noticed he hadn't used her full name or last name, just Liv. She couldn't help but notice how it sounded coming from him.<p>

"Well your childhood wasn't exactly magic either, El."  
>He noticed she used a new nickname for him. He wanted her to say it again. It sounded magical.<br>"No, but it sure as hell wasn't anything like that."

Olivia couldn't believe she had just told him all of that.  
>"I've gotta say, it feels weird telling someone about all of this. Nobody knows everything about me."<p>

"Glad I could help. I've never really opened up about anything so soon either. Are our lives fucked up or what?"  
>"You can say that again."<p>

They finished up their meals and headed for Olivia's apartment preparing for the long night they had ahead.

**$^^&##%$^$%#**

**Trust is important for them, but what's gonna happen with our 2 favorite detectives? **


	4. Mommy Issues

They arrived at Olivia's apartment after an eventful car ride home. They found themselves screaming at the top of their lungs the lyrics to old classic rock songs.

They entered Olivia's apartment laughing.  
>"Don't say a word about the mess Stabler."<br>"As long as you promise not to say anything about my singing."

"That was not singing. That was more like the sound of a screeching baby."

"Oh my...I mean, it's beautiful," he told her sarcastically while he gave a cocky grin about the messy apartment.  
>She punched his arm.<p>

"Ow! Jesus you didn't have to hit me," he said laughing. "You brought up the singing first."

Two could play at that game. "You brought up the apartment."

"Make yourself comfortable. Just throw all that shit that's on the couch on the floor." She walked over to the fridge and grabbed 2 beers. She realized she only had spoiled milk and cheese with beer. "Great," she mumbled to herself.

"Thanks. Okay where to start? Damn, it's gonna be a long night," he said looking at the case files he had set on the table.  
>"Yeah, tell me about it. We should probably start with the Maine attack first. It's the first that we know of."<p>

Elliot started. "Victim's name is Ellen Morris, 23, has a 2 year old son. He did not tie her down. He gagged her using a wash cloth. He didn't tie anything over her eyes. Did not use a condom, wore a hat and what she said looked like a large version of the zorro mask. He made her shower afterwards. They have DNA that is not in the system."

"We could match it once we get a solid suspect, but there is just no way to narrow it down. She didn't know anyone with that description either. This guy knows how to stay hidden. Our vic here had no DNA in the system either," Olivia added.

"Yeah. It's like he was invisible up until the attacks. The attack happened about 7 months ago. He spoke to her. Told her, "I know you want it." He used a knife to threaten her. He beat her mildly. Doctor reports state she had a black eye and 2 broken ribs along with bruising throughout her body."

"That's what this perp called mildly beaten. This girl went through hell." Just then Elliot's phone rang.

"Stabler. What? Okay. I'll call her. Bye Cap. Our perp just struck again. Near Queens. Vics dead."

"Let's go."

It was 10 30 pm. ME Melinda Warner was already on scene.  
>They walked up to the young girl lying on the ground.<p>

"Hey Warner." She looked up. "You must be Olivia Benson. Word travels fast around here. It's a pleasure, well not meeting here but other than that."

"That's me, and what you said. So who is this?"  
>"Name's Ashley Pohven. 20 years old. Here's her license."<p>

"She's from Upper Manhattan, yet she's dressed like a homeless person. Something's not adding up already. Was she raped?"

"Yes, but I won't know more until I get her on my table. Cause of death is blunt force trauma to the head. She fought like hell though. Forensics has all of her personal effects and more evidence for you." Warner pointed Elliot and Olivia in the direction of the forensics team.

"Thanks Melinda." Elliot and Olivia met up with Scott O'Hallaran.  
>"Hey guys. You are Olivia I presume?"<br>"Yes, nice to meet you." She turned to Elliot. "Word does travel fast."

"We're cops. What do you expect us to d in our free time?" He grinned at her.

O'Hallaran started speaking. "Here we found some type of liquid. I assume gasoline but I won't be sure until we get it back to the lab. We found a blood trail leading from the back entrance. of a club to where your girl was found. The club is called 'The Night Life.'"

Olivia jumped in. "That's a teen club. What would a girl over 18 be doing there?"

"We aslo found some bricks in this alley. They have blood on them. Probably how she was killed. We'll need to test it to be sure it's blood."

Elliot sighed with frustration. "Okay, so that makes 6 victims. He's escalated. We've gotta get this guy now. Hey Captain," Elliot said as Cragen walked towards them.

"You two go home. I'll have Fin and Munch investigate tonight. You guys gotta leave in the morning. Go home, look at the case files. Be ready."

"But Captain-"  
>"Go."<p>

With that Elliot and Olivia left the scene.  
>Once in the car, they started talking.<p>

"I guess we better take his advice and be ready for the morning. We only got through one case file."

"Yeah, I know. And now we get to add another one to the list."  
>By the time they got back to the apartment, it was midnight.<p>

Elliot started looking at the second case file.  
>"Second victim, Delia Scott, age 26, has a 5 year old boy-"<br>"Wait wait, is it just me or do all the victims have little boys? None of them have girls?"

"Yeah. That's a little strange don't you think?"

"Not if our rapist has mommy issues. Did any of the moms party or anything? Previous records?"

Elliot paused, then stated with a new vigor, "All of them. So our rapist has mommy issues and likes to teach women that have kids, who made mistakes, a lesson?"

"In his own, sick twisted way but yeah. I guess that's what he's doing," she said with a shrug of the shoulders.  
>"Not even your second day and your getting breaks in an almost unbreakable case?"<p>

"It's past midnight, so technically my second day started 25 minutes ago." She smirked at him. "Fresh pair of eyes never hurts a case."

"Only helps apparently with you on the job," he told her.

**$^&*%()**

**any reviews are appreciated and thanks to anyone whose reading!**


	5. Sleepover

It was now going on 3 in the morning. Elliot and Olivia had just finished looking over the last of the case files.  
>"Well, I better get home. If I'm gonna be bitched at, why not at 3 in the morning?," he said sarcastically.<p>

"Why don't you just stay? I have room. And plus it's been probably 24 hours you've been up. It's not safe to drive."

"Yeah maybe, but I gotta get home and pack before 5 am." he told her.  
>"It'll save a trip if your gonna pick me up anyways. Stay. I have a guest room that is never used and is definitely not as messy as the couch," she laughed as he did.<p>

"I would hope I wouldn't be sleeping with moldy food and dust," he said, earning a raise of her eyebrows. He continued. "Thanks. I mean it. Now I get to wait 2 more days before I get bitched and yelled at."

Olivia smiled, "True." She was also happy he was staying.  
>"Well, it's right this way." They got off the couch so she could show him.<p>

"Night Liv."  
>"Night El."<p>

They parted ways into the two seperate bedrooms.

Once Elliot was settled into bed, he couldn't help but think of Olivia. He drifted off to sleep within minutes thinking of the rookie.

Elliot was stuck on Olivia's brain as well. She knew he was married though and it would never happen. She went to sleep with a feeling of sadness.

Before they knew it it was 5 am. Olivia got up and made coffee for the both of them. Coffee is a cop's best friend.

"Hey, if you need to shower it's through my bedroom to the right," she told him.  
>"Thanks. This is kind of embarrasing but do you have an extra razor I could use?"<p>

She looked at him. "A bit high maintenance aren't we?," she chuckled. "There's a cabinet in the bathroom with anything you need. Like I said, guests aren't here that often, but there's a toothbrush, toothpaste, and razors in there along with anything else you may need."

"Thanks Liv. I owe you one," he told her as he walked towards the bathroom.

He got into the bathroom. He yelled out to her when he opened the cabinet. "Holy shit it's a mini mart in here!"  
>She laughed, a bit embarrassed, "Yeah, I buy when things are on sale for the hell of it."<p>

He smiled. Then showered and shaved.  
>He came out in only a towel. She fought as hard as she could not to look. Until he started talking to her.<p>

Dammit, he just had to start talking to me.

"Mind if I grab a bite to eat?" He started shuffling through her cupboards.

She looked, thank god he was turned away she thought, because she started staring. His body was muscular and perfect. She jerked her head away when he turned around.

"I haven't been grocery shopping in a couple weeks. We can grab doughnuts or something on the way to the precinct if you want. I'm gonna go get cleaned up so we can leave," she said, quickly making an excuse to get out of the kitchen.

He couldn't help but think about her in the shower. He groaned. He had to quickly stop thinking about it before he got to worked up. She walked out of the bathroom dressed and ready to leave.

"Are we flying anywhere, do you know?," she asked eagerly.  
>"Uhm yeah, they are going to fly us up to Maine, and then we will work our way down the coast...driving. Why?"<p>

"Oh no reason, I just wanted to know." She didn't want him to know she was terrified of planes.  
>"Okay. You ready?"<p>

"Yupp, let's go." They hurried out of the apartment to get to Elliot's place.

They arrived at Elliot's house, about 20 minutes from Olivia's apartment. She could see the annoyance and anger grow in his face when he got out of the car. His wife, Kathy, was on the porch getting ready to leave for work.

"And where the hell were you last night?," Kathy yelled.

"At work! I got called onto a case and I have to leave town for a few days." He rushed past her to get into the house.

"Then who is she!" Kathy pointed out the bedroom window to the car.

"My new partner! Why the fuck does that matter?"

"Maybe because your cheating on me with her!"

"Hold on, who the fuck said anything about cheating! She just got into the precinct yesterday! God dammit Kathy, just leave me the fuck alone! I have to leave, ya know, to go fool around with her!," he told her sarcatically as he rushed past her again to leave.

"I knew it! You are cheating on me!"

"It's called sarcasm Kathy!" He stormed outta the house with a bag. Olivia could tell he was pissed.

He got into the car and threw is bag in the backseat.

"She thinks I'm cheating on her, with you! Why the fuck would she think that? I'm filing for divorce when I get back. I can't take this anymore!" He was yelling again. He took off his wedding ring. "I- I'm sorry Olivia, I didn't mean to dump all of that on you."

She felt that glimmer of hope again that it was possible for something to happen, but not getting to excited yet. He could always change his mind. "No, it's okay. That's why I'm your partner. You can tell me these things." He didn't even seem heartbroken saying he wanted a divorce from his wife. Olivia couldn't say she was upset, but she had to act sympathetic.  
>"I'm sorry," she said softly.<p>

"For what?" He looked at her with a questioning look. She had no reason to feel sorry for him.

"That your having troubles with your wife, that your gonna get a divorce."

"Don't be. It's for the best. I know it is. It just took me 3 years to realize this relationship isn't a relationship. She was like that before we got married, too. Then it just escalated when we did get married. I should have gotten out while I could. There are better things out there for me."

That comment he made gave Olivia the glint of hope she needed to think about Elliot all she wanted as a singly guy. And he just took off his wedding ring.

They arrived at the precinct.  
>Captain Cragen met them at the door. "You two, we have a car to take you to the airport and your first stop is Maine."<p>

Before they knew it they were on the plane.  
>Elliot looked at Olivia, she was pale and looked like she was going to be sick.<p>

"Hey Liv, you okay?"  
>"I could say yes but you would know I was lying. So no, I'm not okay," she said frantically.<p>

"What's wrong?"  
>"Planes. They..scare me some. I had a bad experience about 10 years ago," she admitted.<br>"Well, here." He held out his hand for her to hold. "May not be a lot but it may help you a little bit. Just squeeze it if your scared." She just stared at it.

"Liv it's not gonna bite." She smiled and took it. Grabbing his hand sent a shiver down her spine. She started calming down.

Attention passengers, please put on your seatbelts. We are ready for take off. Please stay seated...

"Oh my god." Her breathing increased.  
>"Hey, deep breaths. In, out. Slow." He coached her through it.<p>

She mimicked his breathing and started squeezing his hand hard when the plane started moving. She squeezed her eyes shut, too.

"Hey, look, you did it."  
>She peeked one eye open first. Then the other. "Oh my god I'm on a plane while it's in the air." She didn't know what else to say to him.<p>

"Yeah, and now we have a 2 hour flight that hopefully won't be as terrifying."  
>"Thanks to you." She stared at his eyes then jerked away.<p>

They arrived in Maine as quickly as they left New York. It went so much smoother with Elliot there with her.

"Back to work," Elliot stated.  
>"Yupp, you ready?"<br>"Yeah. Are you?"  
>"After that flight, I'm ready for anything," she said while smiling.<p>

**)($*#*)$^#$^#$%#**

**I had to make her fearful of something lol. It seemed like an excuse to have them bond a bit too. ;)**


	6. New Leads

Elliot and Olivia arrived at the first victim's house, Sara Parks. They knocked on the door.

Elliot bent down to the boy's eye level. "Hey little guy, is your mom home?" The little boy ran inside again and found his mom. She came to the door.

"Tommy, what did I say about opening the door without me there?" The little boy looked sad. "Sorry mommy, they show me badge," he said in broken speech as he pointed to the detectives.

"It's okay, go on and play."

Elliot started speaking. "Mrs. Parks-"  
>"Please, call me Sara."<br>Elliot continued what he was saying, instead using her first name now that he had permission. "Okay. Sara, this is my partner Detective Olivia Benson. May we come in?," Elliot asked.

"Uhm, yeah. Just let me get Tommy into his room. Tommy! Can you go up to your room for a while?"  
>"Yes mommy," he obeyed as the detectives heard the thudding as he walked up the steps to his room.<br>"How are you doing Sara?," Elliot asked sympathetically.

"Good, I guess. Uhm, What is this about?"

Olivia got a chance to speak. "Sara, we may have a lead on your rapist, but we need to go over details of that day again. What did you do that day?"

Sara started shaking.

"Well, I went to the store with Tommy, I took him to the movies to see that new kids movie. His birthday had been the weekend before and I promised him a Tommy mommy day." She started smiling while crying, thinking how great things were before everything had happened.  
>"Uh, then we went to Chuck E. Cheese's. He loves that place. I had a date with my husband that night, so I dropped Tommy off at my moms."<p>

"What time was your date supposed to be with your husband?," Olivia looked up from her notepad.

"Around 7 or so."

"Okay, then what?," Olivia asked softly.

"I- I had gone home to get ready at around 6. I was about ready when my husband Tom called me. He had said he was gonna be stuck at work all night. I was bummed but Tommy was already set to stay at my mom's. I called a friend to see if she wanted to go out."

"And what was your friends name?," Elliot asked.

"Christie Paeth. She brought another friend of hers, Ashlee Trent. We went to a local restaurant. Then they wanted to go out afterwards."

"Which restaurant?"  
>"Magnum on Broadway. Then we went to Bar Louie's right around the corner."<p>

"And how much did you drink?"  
>Sara looked at Elliot, disgusted that he had asked that. "I don't like what your incinuating Detective Stabler."<p>

"I'm not trying to incinuate anything Sara. We just need to know all the details."  
>Sara calmed down, realizing any information she gave them could be helpful to the case. "Uhm, I maybe had 2 shots and a beer."<p>

Olivia stopped her again. "Okay. Did you go anywhere else that night that you didn't mention to the police?"

Sara paused. "I mean, we stopped in another club place. I don't remember the name. They wanted to go party. I have a kid, I didn't want a nasty hangover so I told them no, but they dragged me inside. I didn't mention it to the police because...-" She started crying again.

"It's okay Sara...This is not your fault," Olivia said, soothing her.

Elliot waited to see that Sara had calmed down a bit, then continued. "So you guys leave the night club after how long?"  
>"I looked at the clock. I sat around there for about 2 hours. It was midnight when we left. We all lived near there so we decided to walk home. Christie and Ashlee went one way, and I went the other. God, I'm so stupid," she scolded herself.<p>

"No your not Sara," Elliot told her.

"I got back to the apartment. I just wanted to go to bed. I locked up everything, and next thing I know this guy is behind me with a knife telling me what to do. He told me not to scream or he would kill me in front of my son when he was home. I...I wanted to scream but he pressed the knife on my back harder. He led me up the steps to my bedroom."

"Straight to your bedroom?," Olivia asked, finding it a bit odd.

"Yes, I don't know how he knew but that's what he did."

Elliot and Olivia both asked questions back and forth.

"What was he wearing?"

"Isn't this all in the report?," Sara asked defensively again.

"Yes Sara but we need to verify your story," Olivia said.

"He was wearing an all black outfit with what looked like a zorro mask."  
>"Okay. What happened next?"<p>

"He told me to lie on the bed. I..I was thinking how stupid I was for wearing a dress out. He got on top of me, and he kept the knife to my throat while he lifted my dress up..." She was sobbing and having a hard time speaking.

Olivia reached out and touched her arm. "Sara, we're almost done, your doing great."

"Then he... started trying to kiss me. I tried to push him away but he was to strong. He started telling me that I wanted it. He started touching me all over, and then he...pushed my panties aside. He started touching me there. He told me it was going to be the best night of my life. Then he started raping me. Over and over. It seemed like forever before he was done. He started touching me again, and then he put a cloth in my mouth because I started screaming. He got angry. He pushed harder. Then he...ejaculated inside of me."

She curled her hands over her face and started screaming. "He kept going, I couldn't fight because he was so strong. He made me...feel it."

Elliot and Olivia knew what was coming. "Feel what Sara?"

"He made me orgasm...When he was finished he made me take a shower. He made me take off my dress. He scrubbed me. Touched me. Then he made me count to ten with my eyes closed. When I opened them he was gone. I called the police after I dried off and got dressed."

Olivia felt sick. However, she knew if she got used to vics telling their stories then there's a problem. "Sara, this is not your fault. It's normal for victims to have that, because of the adrenaline. You did great Sara. You did what you had to to stay alive," Olivia told her.

Elliot was glad that Olivia was able to adjust to the situation. "Anything else about that night that wasn't in the report?"  
>"No, that's it. Is that all?"<p>

Elliot spoke to her again. "For now, yes. We will call you with any new information or questions we may have. Thanks for your time." Elliot and Olivia left the home.

Olivia spoke to Elliot about the case first.

"That's how the son of a bitch chooses his victims. He stops at local night clubs."  
>"He chooses a target, then waits for them to be alone."<p>

**!)(#**!**

**Well, who else think Olivia handled her first real case well with SVU? ;) again i had to end it somewhere...more twists to come of course. thanks to anyone reading and thanks for any reviews :)**


	7. Only In Her Dreams

Over the next 2 days, Olivia and Elliot stopped by all of the victims houses. They gathered new evidence as to how the rapist chose his victims. They were back in New York at the precinct. They filled the Captain in on the new evidence they had gathered. They had barely slept in three days and were looking pretty worn down, but they were determined to catch this guy.

"Great job you two. Go home and get some rest. You've been up basically for two days straight. You've got new leads for us to hit. I'll call you if anything turns up."

"Thanks Cap." The captain had no idea how thankful Elliot actually was.

They were in Elliot's car when he looked at her. "Liv, I didn't say this to you at all, but good job. You handled it really well."

"Thanks. Now can you get me home so my head can hit my pillow?" She laughed.  
>"I think I can handle that," he told her as he chuckled.<p>

They got back to her apartment, and Elliot was about to pull away when she stopped him. "Your more then welcome to stay again, if you want."

"I would but I have to get home. I am going to the lawyer's office in a few hours after I sleep. It's only 8 in the morning. Mind if I come back tonight though and maybe stay with you for a while? I don't mean to seem intrusive, but it would give me a place to be when things get worse with Kathy."

Olivia was shocked. She wasn't expecting that. But she was more then happy that he wanted to stay with her.  
>"Of course El."<p>

"Thanks Liv. So see you tonight?"  
>"Yeah, that's fine." She smiled warmly at him.<p>

"Great. Bye."  
>"Bye." She backed away from the car as she watched him drive off.<p>

After he left Olivia rushed up to her apartment. She couldn't sleep yet. She had to clean up her apartment. She rushed from one room to the next. She finally got to the dreaded room. The kitchen. Dishes hadn't been done in a month. She was disgusted by her own apartment. She finally got everything done at around 11. She went back to her bedroom and got changed for bed. As soon as she hit the pillow she was lost in her dreams.

Elliot came from behind her, wrapped his arms around her and started kissing her neck. He led her to the bed and laid her down. He crawled up her body and kissed her passionately. He pulled down her sweatpants, then her underwear. She sat up and started to take off her shirt. He helped her pull it off. "Your beautiful Liv." He unsnapped her bra. She kissed him vigorously. He made his way down her body, kissing and touching every part of her that he could. He toyed with her nipples, sucking and kissing. Then kissed his way down to her center, dripping with anticipation. "Oh god El." He worked her over with his mouth and tongue. He took his pants off and was aligned with her entrance...

Olivia's phone began to ring, jolting her out of her 2 hour nap she had got. "Benson," she answered rather annoyed.  
>"Hey Liv."<br>She was trying to get her breathing regulated. That dream and being woken up after a few hours of sleep had her worked up. "Hey El, what's up?" She wasn't so annoyed since it was him calling.  
>"Yeah, mind if I come to your place now? Things with Kathy have really been insane. I'll explain when I get there if I'm allowed to come over."<p>

"Uh yeah. That's fine. I was just gonna go grocery shopping if you wanna go, since you'll be staying," she said, laying her head back on the pillow.  
>"Yeah, if you want I can."<p>

"Okay, see you in a bit then?," she asked  
>"Yeah, bye Liv."<br>"Bye."

Olivia rolled out of bed and made herself some coffee.

Elliot wasted no time moving in. He brought 3 bags of clothes and necessities with him into the apartment.

"Hope you don't mind, I packed most of my stuff, and it's ready for a new home. Kathy kicked me out before I could say I was moving out. Rest of my stuff is in the car."

"I gotta hear that story. How did it happen?," Olivia chuckled as they got comfortable on the couch.

"Well, I had just walked in. I didn't sleep at all before I went to the lawyer's office. I walked in with divorce papers telling her I wanted a divorce and she flipped. Claimed I was cheating on her yet again, and with you."

"Wow." Olivia scoffed.

"Oh it gets better. She then picked up a vase and threw it at me while I was leaving."

"That just sounds like loads of fun," Olivia said sarcastically as she sipped her coffee.  
>"It was." Elliot was enraged about Kathy he didn't even notice he sat on a clean couch until after the story.<br>"Wow Liv, you cleaned. Everything?," he said looking around the apartment.

"Yeah, I couldn't sleep when I got home this morning."  
>"Jesus, were you asleep when I called?," he looked at her, now feeling horrible for calling her when he did.<br>"Yeah, but it's not a big deal."

"The hell it isn't, I'm sorry for dumping everything on you. What time did you go to sleep?," he asked concerned.  
>"Around 11."<p>

"I called around 1. Fuck. I'm sorry for waking you up."  
>"No big deal. Like I said I was gonna go grocery shopping anyways. If you wanna eat here it's something that must be done," she said as she got up off the couch to get more coffee.<p>

He watched her as she walked into the kitchen. "Speaking of you wanna go now?"  
>"Yeah, that's fine. What kind of food do you like anyways Stabler?"<br>"Anything that's edible. You?"  
>"Same."<p>

They got to the store and then Olivia noticed how hungry she was. Then she remembered she hadn't eaten since dinner the night before.

"It's a horrible idea to come the store hungry. Now everything looks good." She laughed.  
>"Yeah, I know I'm starving too."<p>

They were in the store for an hour. They grabbed everything that looked good. They had a full cart of everything possible. They spent in excess of 200 dollars.

Olivia smirked. "This will be fun loading all of this into the apartment."  
>"Hey it'll be good exercise running up and down before we stuff our faces full of this junkfood."<br>"Good point."

They were both breathless after getting the food into the apartment.  
>"Alright, Liv, don't argue, but I am going to make dinner."<br>"Me, argue? Never," she exclaimed sarcastically. "What are you making?"  
>"Chinese."<br>"Exactly what I had in mind." It was what she always had on her mind.

They settled down with their chinese food and had a relaxing afternoon. And of course, with the worst timing ever, Olivia's cell phone rang.  
>"Not...real," she said, slumped against the arm of the chair.<br>"Yeah it is, and if you don't answer Captain will have both our asses." He handed the phone to her.

"Benson. Uh yeah Cap I'll let Elliot know. We'll be there soon."  
>"What was that about?"<br>"They have a suspect for our rapist."

**$^*$#()**

**Just so everyone knows, I am restraining myself from getting to into an E/O yet. I am trying to put a new spin on things besides a typical E/O. :) Who else feels the tension building ? ;)**


	8. Closure for the victims

"Hey Captain. Who is he?," Olivia asked curiously.

"John Doe. He's dead. A couple stumbled upon him on their daily stroll through Central Park. Gun shot through the head."  
>"So we still have no idea who he is? No ID on the body?"<p>

"No. Now we have a murderer out there killing rapists, not that it's a bad thing, but it's against the law. We are going to edit his morgue photo and make it look like he's in a coma at St. Mark's hospital. We're putting the photo on the evening news. I need you and Elliot here to man the phones when the frenzy begins."

"No problem Cap," Elliot stated. Cragen left towards his office. "Hey Liv, I'm gonna go up to the crib and get some shut eye. Can you grab me in 30?"

"Yeah, of course." He headed to the crib.  
>Olivia sat at her desk and couldn't get the dream she had out of her head.<p>

"Earth to Olivia," Fin teased.  
>Olivia was jolted out of her daydream. "Wha-What? What'd I miss?"<br>"Your phone's ringin'," Fin told her, pointing to the phone on her desk.

"Right. Detective Benson, SVU. Whoa, whoa. Slow down ma'am. What? Okay, what's his name? If you come down to the station I can take you to the hospital. See you then. Bye. Got a possible name for our John Doe."  
>"What's his name?"<p>

"Jason Toliver. 28 years old. Married. I'm gonna go get El from the crib."

She tried prodding him awake easily and calmly, but it wasn't working. She used a more forceful approach.

"El, El. EL!"  
>He jumped up in shock, "WHAT! What Liv?" He said breathing heavily.<br>"We have a possible name for our rapist. The wife is on her way here now," Olivia said, confident he wouldn't go back to sleep. She started walking towards the door.  
>"What time is it?"<br>"About 5 15. You didn't get a full 30. Sorry."  
>"Nah it's fine. Guess it's karma for waking you up today."<br>She laughed. "Maybe."

The wife arrived at the squad room. "Detective Benson? I am Mallory Toliver. I told you my husband is Jason."  
>"Hi Mrs. Toliver. Please, have a seat," Olivia said pointint to the chair besides her desk.<br>Mallory started freaking out. "No! We have to get to the hospital. Jason's in a coma he needs me!"

Olivia hesitated, feeling horrible for having to tell her like this. "Mrs. Toliver, I am sorry to inform you, but we have reason to believe your husband was murdered today."  
>"What is this some kind of sick joke! WHY was he on the news then and everyone saying he's in a coma!" Her thoughts were everywhere.<br>Olivia's heart was tearing for this woman, but it had to be done. Olivia touched her arm gently, trying to coax her to go. "Mrs. Toliver, we're very sorry for what you've endured. Could you come with me to the morgue to get the possible ID your husband?"

Mallory hesitated, but knew she had to do it. "I-I guess."

Once at the morgue. ME Warner lifted up the sheet to show his face.  
>She started sobbing and leaned into Olivia. "Oh my god! That's Jason. What happened to him? Who did this to him?"<br>"We are still investigating. I am very sorry for your loss. Mrs. Toliver, is it okay if I ask you some questions about your husband?"

"I don't know, about what?," Mallory asked hesitantly.

"We have reason to believe he was involved in some crimes," Olivia said quietly.

"Oh, so because he made a few mistakes in his life your gonna blame him for it now?," Mallory said defensively.  
>Elliot and Olivia were both confused, so Elliot asked, "What do you mean? He doesn't have a record."<p>

"He was a juvenile, he was a troublemaker, but he was charged at 13 with sexual misconduct of a 10 year old girl. They sentenced him to 100 hours of community service. The judge expunged his record after he completed it and didn't get in any other trouble. I've known him since we were 12. He told me about it because we were best friends."

"Did you notice any sudden changes in him?," Elliot asked, hoping to fill in some of the missing pieces of the puzzle.

"Yeah after his mom died. He got really happy and said he was free. I never got to deep into it with him."

Olivia was getting a bit flustered hearing that he was let off the hook so easy for his crime, but it made sense about the mom dying that he changed suddenly. "Okay, anything...sexual ever come up between you two?"

"What do you mean?" Mallory looked at her, confused.

"Did he ever try to...touch you, inappropriately before you two were together as a couple, or even before? Any unwanted advances?"

Mallory burst out crying again. "I can't! I can't betray him now!"

Elliot was always very sensitive to victims, and had to be in this line of work. He touched her arm gently and started speaking softly to her. Olivia watched in admiration. "Mallory, listen to me, anything that he did to you is not your fault, okay?"

She sobbed for another minute then started speaking. "I was only 15. I was still a virgin. I told him I wasn't ready for the next step. But he just sat there and said 'I don't care. This is what I want. I'm ready, so you should be too.' So we did it. I didn't want to, but he was holding onto me tightly and I was afraid of what he would do if I didn't or fought back."

Olivia was starting to get more natural with her questions. "Why did you stay with him for so long, and then get married to him?"

Mallory chuckled at the question, out of irony and of shame. "Because I really did love him, until he got angry. He was a completely different person. I would do anything I could to keep him pleased. I was afraid that if I left he would kill me. He threatened me once. It was after I had gotten home from an overnight trip for work. He thought I was cheating on him. He started hitting me and then...he raped me. After he said if I told he would kill me."

"Mallory, thank you for telling us. You did good," Olivia told her.  
>"What were the crimes you were talking about? That he was involved in?," Mallory asked.<p>

"He raped 6 other women that we know of. Those that were reported, and you make 7 total down the east coast. We can't give you too many details because we are investigating but we will give you information as soon as we can," Elliot told her.

"My god. So if I had told somebody what he did to me...none of those women would have been hurt?" Mallory started crying again.

Olivia stopped her. "Mallory, listen to me, none of this is your fault. You survived. That's what matters. Here's my card. If you ever need anything give me a call. Day or night. And also, if you want I could get you the names of some good counselors if you're interested."

"I don't know. I can't do all of this again. I just wanna move on with my life," she said full of shame and guilt stinging within her.

"Mallory, victims who don't get help right away often suffer PTSD and hang onto this. You can't get over it, but you can learn to live with it. Okay? Please just promise me you will think about it?"

Elliot was amazed at Olivia's natural ability to calm victims down and connect with them.

"Yeah...I can do that. Thank you Detective Benson."  
>"Call me Olivia."<br>"Thanks, Olivia, and Detective Stabler. Can I go now?"  
>"Yes, we will call you with anything new we have or any other questions."<br>Mallory left the squadroom.

Elliot and Olivia felt like their job was done.  
>"Damn it woulda been nice to put that bastard in jail," Elliot said, starting to clench his fists.<p>

"El, you and I both know he woulda only gotten 20 years or so. Yeah, it's justice, but what would have happened when he got out?"

"We catch the son of a bitch again."  
>"That is always an option, I suppose," Olivia said.<p>

They went to their desks to finish paperwork on the case, with a sense of relief that another rapist was off the streets. But who killed the rapist?

**!#$%^&*()**

**The rapist is dead! If you saw that coming, your psychic lol.**  
><strong>Some of you may remember the episode where they used the news to make it look like the victim was still alive. Idk what the name of it is, but yeah. I figured it was easier then dragging on a trial about 1 crime, and better to lead it into the investigation of another, in case you were wondering. Thanks to anyone whose readingreviewing! :)**


	9. Ready for a run?

It was 12 30 at night before everything got wrapped up from the crimes the rapist committed. They had called the other victims at around 10 when Mallory left to let them know that their rapist was off the streets for good. That was a sigh of relief for everyone working the case. Not only was he off the streets, but he was dead.

Olivia and Elliot decided enough was enough for the night and they would investigate the murder the next day. They both were running on little or no sleep from the past few days.

"Home sweet home!" Olivia proclaimed. "I don't know how much longer I could have stayed. But, I guess that ends me being your good luck charm," she chuckled.

"You'll always be my good luck charm." He realized what he said. "I really am tired." He laughed it off, trying to change the subject, but Olivia's heart was so loud it was in her ears. "Alright, I'm headed to bed."  
>"I second that," she said as they both jumped off the couch and hurried to bed.<p>

"Night Liv."  
>"Night El." She didn't know how much longer she could fight her feelings for her partner.<br>Elliot fought the same battle everytime he closed his eyes.

Cragen called Olivia's phone at 5 30 am, right when her alarm was going off. 'Oh no,' she thought.

"Benson. What? Why Cap? Yeah, I'll call and let him know. Bye." She got up to go tell Elliot what the Captain had told her.

"We have the day off unless something breaks in the murder case. Captain says we need our rest after the running we've done the past few days. I couldn't agree more. I'm goin back to bed." Elliot just moaned. She smiled on her way back to bed.

She awoke to the amazing smell of bacon cooking. She checked her phone. 10:30. She felt so rested she felt like she could run a marathon. That reminded her that she hadn't run in the last few days. She walked into the kitchen to find Elliot cooking up a storm.

"Good morning sleepy head," he said to her sarcastically.  
>"Hey, I bet you slept most of the morning away too," she replied, sending the comment back to him.<p>

"Yeah I got up at about 8 30. That's the latest I've slept in a while. I figured I should cook while you snored." He smiled then started laughing.

She looked shocked, then fired back. "Excuse you mister I sound like a blender when I'm sleeping. I don't snore."  
>"And how would you know if your asleep?," Elliot countered her argument.<p>

"I just do." She wasn't going to tell him she didn't know what to say. She looked at all the food he had out cooking. "Your tellin me your hungry after all that shit we ate yesterday afternoon?"  
>"Yupp. Your telling me your not hungry at all? I made homemade pancakes, some eggs, and bacon. If you don't like those foods, your crazy."<p>

She smiled. "And coffee? And your wife doesn't appreciate you because...?," she asked as she started pouring herself a cup of coffee.

"Hey, soon to be ex wife," he corrected. "And I never felt the need to cook for her. She didn't appreciate anything I ever did for her. You, your my partner. Might as well make a good impression on you while I can. I'm living with you for one, and besides, when's the last time you had a home cooked meal?," he said, plating the pancakes he had cooked.

"Long enough for me to appreciate this." She smiled at him again. "Thank you," she said very thankfully as he put a plate with everything on it in front of her. He sat down to join her. She didn't know where to start it all looked so good. Bacon. She couldn't go wrong with bacon.

She moaned as she ate, "Mmm, everything is amazing El." She didn't even care how she looked shoving food into her face.  
>He smiled at her. "Glad you like it." He was trying very hard to ignore the moans. She saw the look on his face, and wasn't sure what was going on. "You okay Stabler?"<p>

"Yeah, food's hitting me a bit hard." He used the same excuse she had at the chinese restaurant as a lie. He excused himself to the bathroom. Olivia saw exactly why he looked the way he did when he stood up. She held in a laugh, and stopped herself from staring to long at him.

He returned a few minutes later with a look of relief on his face. "Feel better?," she asked curiously.

"Actually yeah I do. Food just took a minute to settle."  
>"I'm glad." They shared a moment of looking in each other's eyes. They both seemed to jerk away at the same time and finished eating.<p>

"Thank you again, Elliot. It was amazing. Now I'm so full I wanna go back to sleep," she said headed to the couch.  
>"Yeah. I know the feeling," he said as he groaned.<p>

"I have to start exercising again. I've felt fatter in the last 4 days then I have in years."  
>"I also know that feeling." He laughed.<p>

"Do you run?"  
>"After suspects, but other than that, I'm not an avid runner," he admitted.<p>

She laughed. "Well, I guess I will go get ready, and go alone then. Without my partner." She smiled as she got up from the couch, trying to get a rise out of him."  
>"Hey, I just said I don't run that often," he said sternly.<p>

"Wow, that was easy." She turned around to face him.

He had realized what was being said. "Like I said, anger issues. Ya want a running partner and work partner, you got one." She lifted an eyebrow. "Really Stabler? I wouldn't want you to have a coronary or anything." She smiled.  
>"I can hold my own. Just worry about yourself there Benson."<p>

"Alright. Be ready in 20. I run through Central Park usually, just so you know."  
>"Oh, I'll be ready," he said as he went to his room.<p>

She went to her room to get changed. She was excited, he was just plain nervous. He hadn't actually been 'running' in months, but he wasn't about to come out and say that to her.

He wanted to prove her wrong. It's that mentality that got him into trouble sometimes...

**$^()&%#$**

**Can Stabler prove her wrong? thanks to whoever is reading..reviews are greatly appreciated :)**


	10. It's a promise

Elliot had gotten ready for their 'run.' He wasn't going to show that he was nervous, but he was.  
>"Ready?," she said with a questioning look, not sure if he was.<p>

"Sure, let's go with that," he said sarcastically.  
>"Alright. Come on," she said as she opened the apartment door for him.<p>

They drove to Central Park. Elliot was ready to run apparently. He just started running.

"Whoa, slow down Stabler, we need to stretch first."  
>"Eh, I figured we could just go."<p>

"You do that, you'll pull a muscle. Then you can't catch the next suspect that runs, since that seems to be your thing." She smiled at him.  
>"Okay, good point."<p>

They stretched for a good 10 minutes or so. He just followed what she was doing. She noticed.  
>"Alright, now that we have that done, we can run."<p>

They started off really well, but after about a half a mile, Elliot was feeling the burn. He hadn't run that much in a while. Then a thought occurred. She thought he would have a coronary, what if he really had one? Sort of.

"AHH! Liv can we take a break? I can't breathe! I have a cramp."  
>"Run through the pain Stabler." She did not think he was serious. Then he collapsed on the ground. She was terrified.<p>

"Liv, I can't...breathe...help!" She ran towards him and knelt down beside him.  
>"I'm calling a bus."<p>

"Gotcha."  
>She was speechless for a second, and she had that look of shock on her face. "Bastard! I thought you were dying."<br>"I know. That's what made your face so great." He got off the ground.  
>"Now you get to run more. Isn't that great?," she said through her labored breaths.<br>"Oh yeah, my favorite!," he said extremely sarcastically.

They started running again. They got through another quarter mile before Elliot started falling behind.  
>"Come on Stabler, not another fake heart attack!," she said, not wanting him to pull the same trick he had a few minutes before.<p>

She started walking and was about to start turning around when he started running after her. She ran faster and took a sharp turn into the grass. He caught up to her and tackled her. He was on top of her. They were facing each other as their chests heaved into each other.

"Stabler two, Benson zero," he grinned.  
>"Oh shutup. I'm still better than you. That was an unfair start," she complained<p>

"Hey, this entire run you were better."  
>"Glad you admit it. I will be getting you back for that. Now get off of me," she attempted to push him off.<p>

He thought about it. "I guess I can do that for you." He got off of her only to be tackled unexpectedly by her.  
>"Stabler two, Benson one." She smirked at him, then got off of him. "I guess that's enough of a run for today."<p>

"That's enough running for life."

She laughed.  
>They headed back to the car.<p>

When they got back to the apartment he went straight to the fridge and grabbed a beer.  
>"I am ready to relax and do nothing the rest of the day, how about you?"<br>"I concur," she smiled as she sat on the couch next to him and turned on the tv.

"Wanna watch a movie or something?," she asked.  
>"Like what?," he said, willing to let her decide.<br>"Jackass?"  
>"Well, I've never really watched it-"<br>"Your nuts Stabler! Funniest thing ever to watch."  
>"I guess I'll take your word for it."<p>

A half hour later they were both cracking up laughing.  
>"What the fuck is Johnny Knoxville thinking?"<br>"He doesn't ever think! None of them do, that's what's great," Olivia exclaimed.

He laughed again, realizing she was leaning into him. "Yeah. Hey, I'm gonna go take a shower if you don't mind, then I will come back out and we can get a bite to eat here or wherever."

"That's fine." She got off of him, not really realizing until that moment that she had leaned into him.  
>He needed an excuse to get away from her. He needed a cold shower is what he needed.<p>

He came outta the shower relieved and clean, then she passed him going into the shower, only in a towel again. She shut her bedroom door behind her. She took a deep breath then headed to the shower. She had an idea. Since he felt free to walk around in a towel so could she.

She walked out of the shower a half hour later. She walked into the kitchen in only her towel.  
>"Hey Liv where do you..." He stopped speaking when he turned to look at her.<br>"What was that El? Where do I what?," she asked, knowing why he stopped asking.  
>"Uhm. Where do you...Where do you wanna eat?" He could barely form the words. He tugged at his collar and gulped. She looked at him.<p>

"You've got that look on your face again, like your gonna be sick," she quipped. She knew what that look was, and it wasn't sick.  
>"No, I'm okay," he tore his eyes away from her when she looked at him.<br>She figured she had made her point. She walked back to her room and got dressed.

"Hey, where do you wanna eat El?," she asked.  
>"I don't know, what sounds good to you?," he asked, still recovering from the display she had just made.<br>"We still have a bunch of food here. I think we should make tacos."

"Believe it or not, tacos sound amazing right now."  
>It was 5 30. Elliot started making taco meat.<p>

"Hey Liv, you realize it's been a full day and we haven't gotten called into work yet? Something's not right."  
>"Or Cragen was right and we needed the day off, which I found out I run a lot better then you do. Hope we don't have to chase a suspect anytime soon." She laughed.<p>

"Do I need to chase you down again?," Elliot asked sarcastically, willing to do just that to make a point.

"Maybe you do. Teach me a lesson perhaps?," she said as she raised her eyebrow at him.

There was more than one lesson he wanted to teach her.  
>"After dinner."<p>

"Is that a threat Stabler?," she cocked an eyebrow at him.  
>"It's a promise."<p>

They ate really fast again, like they hadn't eaten in days. "El, those tacos were really good. Thanks," she said while grabbing the plates to put in the sink. She sat back down.  
>"I'm glad. Now, Liv?"<br>"What?," she looked at him, not sure what he wanted to ask.

"You better run."  
>"Why would I...?," she started to ask, but then she remembered what they had said before dinner. She got up from the table fast and ran through her apartment to her bedroom. She tried shutting the door behind her but he just held it open. <em>Bathroom<em>, she thought, it had a lock. Now if only she could make it.

She bolted but before she knew it he was behind her and threw her on the bed and just laid on top of her. He pinned her down, their chests once again heaving into the other's.  
>"Stabler 3, Benson 1." He grinned.<br>"So your stronger then me, big whoop."

They looked into each other's eyes. He couldn't fight it anymore.  
>"Liv, can I tell you something?" He looked at her beautiful eyes.<br>"Yeah, can you get off of me?" She tried pushing him off.

"No." He hesitated with what he wanted to say next. "I...I think I love you. No, I know I love you. I've known you for less than a week and I'm in love with you. This probably sounds crazy, and..and insane but-"

She cut him off with a kiss. Not just any kiss but a kiss that ignited a fire in both of them.

Things were just getting intense...

**^(^*&$**

**Finally, some of that sexual tension is relieved. Barely, but it's something ;)**

**Thanks to anyone reading and/or reviewing. :)**


	11. Back to work

**Now where were we? ;) OH right.**

**$$^^&$%&$%^#$**

**Things were just heating up between them, then...**

Stabler's phone rang. "Fuck my life. I spoke to soon about having the day off."  
>"That you did." She smiled.<p>

"Stabler. Yeah, I'll let her know Captain." He hung up, still trying to breathe.

"Let me know what?"

"We have a suspect on the murder. Captain says be there ASAP."  
>"Well with you on top of me I don't think we're getting anywhere soon."<p>

"Yeah, I know we gotta move," he said disappointed. "Raincheck?"  
>"Do we have any other choice?," she quipped.<p>

"Nope." He kissed her once more and started getting off of her.

15 minutes later they were both ready for a long night ahead. It was 6 30 pm.

They arrived at the precinct to see their suspect.  
>They stopped the Captain near his office.<br>Olivia looked shocked. "Mallory Toliver is our suspect?"

"Yeah, she's got some holes in her story of where she was when her husband was murdered."

This was Olivia's first real interrogation with SVU. She was nervous already and it didn't help that their suspect was the wife of a rapist who had been raped herself.

"How do you wanna play it Liv?"  
>"Play what El? There's no way she did this."<p>

"Well right now it's lookin a hell of a lot like she did."  
>"She was raped by him! Her husband, someone she was supposed to trust and love!"<p>

"What if that ain't true Liv? She could have made the whole thing up," he said quietly.  
>"And if she didn't? Then she's emotionally disturbed and has PTSD from 14 years of sexual abuse." Olivia was worked up, and he could see it.<p>

"Do you wanna go in there first and see if you can get her story straight?," he asked softly.

Olivia thought about it. Then she realized her and Mallory had a connection the first time.

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I guess."  
>"Good luck, Benson."<br>She smiled at him, breaking the tension they had previous to that. "Thanks, Stabler."

She sat across from Mallory, nervous about having to do this. "Hey Mallory. Do you know why your here?" She could see Mallory was crying.  
>"They think I killed my husband! Why are you here?," she asked, clearly pissed.<br>"Because I wanna get your story straightened out." She started talking calmly to her, thinking it might get her to open up more.

"What is there to straighten out? I didn't do it!"  
>"Okay, can we go over your story of where you were the day your husband was murdered?"<p>

"I already went over this with the other cops!"  
>"I know, but I want you to tell me again, and I will make sure that they see what I see, which is a scared woman, who was raped by her own husband. What they see right now, is someone who may have killed her husband. Could you please tell me, one last time?"<p>

"They don't believe I was raped either, that's just great," Mallory scoffed.  
>"They aren't as sure as I am. Let's put it that way."<p>

Elliot was watching behind the glass seeing what Olivia was doing. She was trying to connect with her, on a more personal level. _She don't act like a rookie. _He thought to himself.

Mallory was unsure what to say. "What will happen to me? I lied to the police Olivia. But not on purpose. To protect myself I swear."

"Okay Mallory, to protect yourself from what?," Olivia prodded, looking at her sympathetically.  
>Mallory closed her eyes. "My husband."<p>

Olivia leaned closer to her. "Your husband is dead. He can't hurt you anymore. What did you lie about?"

"Where I was when he died. You said he was killed at around 3 in the morning in the park. I wasn't at the park, but I told the cops that I was at my mom's house in Brooklyn."

"And where were you?"  
>"I was...at a strip club, dancing. Jason always made me do it. He was always visiting to make sure I was there. I didn't want you to think I was a slut."<br>"Mallory, I would never think that about you. What's the name of the club?," Olivia asked.

"Uhm, Peek A Boo. It's on East 42nd street."

"What's your name there?  
>"Candy."<br>"Thank you Mallory. I am going to leave but I will be back in a bit. Okay?"  
>"Yeah, okay."<br>Olivia got up and left to find Elliot right outside.

"We have to go check her alibi. This poor girl has been through hell and back. Still think she did it?," Olivia asked, challenging Elliot's first assumptions about the case.

"I'm not sure yet. But the way you got her to open up quickly is incredible. Never seen a rookie learn so fast."  
>"I learned from the best." She smiled at him.<p>

They arrived at the strip club around 8 30. The ladies were all out dancing and then the owner came up to them.  
>"Hey there, welcome to Peek A Boo, a place to live out your fantasies. Would you like a table or booth?"<p>

"I don't know. What do you think El? I think I'm more of an up close and personal type a girl," she stated as she flashed her badge to the owner, whose name was Daddy, shockingly enough.

"I think you are too Liv," he said showing his badge.  
>"Hey now, I am running a completely legal club here."<br>"And we don't doubt you one bit," Elliot stated sarcastically. "We need to talk to some of your dancers and ask if Mallory Toliver, aka Candy was dancing yesterday morning at around 3?"

"Oh Candy, she is one of our best. You should talk to Lavender. She's been here longest and they get along."

Lavender hadn't gotten on stage yet.  
>Olivia was trying to hurry and get outta there. "Lavender? I'm Detective Benson. We need to ask you a few questions."<p>

"Hey I didn't do nothin wrong,"she stated walking away from them, not wanting to get in trouble.  
>"It's about your friend Candy. Was she here yesterday morning dancing?"<p>

"Yeah, she was out dancin all night yesterday. First time in a while I ain't seen that husband of hers," she scoffed.  
>"So Jason didn't come out at all the other night?," Elliot asked.<p>

"Do you got a hearin problem dude? I just told you he wasn't here."  
>"No I don't have a hearing problem but I will take you in for obstruction if you don't answer questions," Elliot squinted and smiled at the dancer.<p>

She rolled her eyes at him. "Yah whateva, boo."

Both detectives were getting tired of her attitude. Olivia took the last of the questions.  
>"Okay Lavender, do you know where he was?"<br>"No but Candy was glad he didn't come around. He made her do this. Some husband, makin his pregnant wife dance."  
>"Candy's pregnant?" Olivia's eyes narrowed at her.<br>"Yeah about a month along. She didn't want no baby with that douchebag."

"Thanks for your time, we will see you with any other questions we have." Olivia turned around, grabbing Elliot with her.

As they were walking away, Elliot started talking. "Mallory's pregnant? If that's not motive I don't know what is Liv."  
>"But she was dancing the other night El." Olivia still didn't believe she did this.<br>"Maybe she had someone do the job for her."

**!%&*&^%**

**Dun dun dun. what's to come next for everyone? Did Mallory really kill her husband? or have someone do it for her?**


	12. Whodunnit?

They arrived back at the precinct and now Olivia and Elliot both had new questions for Mallory. But Elliot agreed to let Olivia go back in there because she was able to get her to open up so easily.

"Detective Benson. Did you check my alibi? Am I free to go?"  
>"Yes Mallory, we did check your alibi. We still have some questions for you, though. Did anyone else know that you were pregnant that wasn't to happy about it?<p>

Mallory looked shocked. "How did you...?"

"Someone at the club told us."  
>"I can't believe this. Even after death Jason finds a way to ruin my life."<p>

"How long have you known?"

"Two weeks. I went to the doctor's right away. I had to lie to Jason to get out of the house. I told him I was going to the store. Jason wanted me to get pregnant. He never used a condom, so I had birth control. About 3 months ago, he found it and beat me so bad I couldn't move out of bed for 2 days."

"Mallory, you know you have options. You can still get an abortion, or have the baby adopted. You don't have to go through this alone."

"I was going to get an abortion to keep it from Jason, but now that he's dead, I still don't know what I wanna do. I've always wanted to be a mom, but I don't know if I can raise his baby. What happens when the baby asks about their father? What do I tell them?" She started crying.

"The truth. You give them unconditional love no matter what happens. And you make sure they know they are loved." Olivia started tearing up at the thought of her childhood and what she went through. She quickly blinked them away.

"Maybe."  
>"Okay, Mallory, was there anyone else that knew about this pregnancy that was unhappy or seemed unhappy with it?"<p>

"No, I've only told a couple girls that I dance with. If Daddy found out he would have my ass for it."

"What is Daddy's real name anyways?"

"Peter. Peter Vayo. Why?"  
>"Investigation purposes. We have to rule out everyone in your life as a suspect."<p>

"Oh."  
>"Now Mallory, don't take this the wrong way, but have you ever told anyone you wanted your husband dead that may have taken it to heart?"<p>

"Of course the girls that I dance with knew what he was doing and they told me I should get away from him, but I've never said to any of them that I wanted him dead."

"Did you have someone hired to kill your husband for you?"  
>"No! Never! I can't believe you would even ask me that!"<p>

"I'm sorry, but I have to ask these questions." Elliot knocked on the glass to call her out.

"What El, I was just getting to her."  
>"I'm not so sure she did it now. We ran a background check on that boss of hers. He's got a few priors for domestic violence and drugs. What else?"<p>

"So is Mallory off the hook?"

"For the most part, yeah. We still have to ask her a few more questions, though. We can let Fin and Munch do that though while we go and get the story from Daddy."  
>"Well it's close to 11 pm. Prime time for the club."<p>

They arrived at the club for the second time that night.

Elliot sarcastically started talking to Daddy.  
>"Hey Daddy, just the person we were looking for, or should I call you Peter or Logan or Tyler, or-."<p>

"Okay, you know in the past I used different names. Is that why your here?"  
>"No, did you kill Mallory's husband Jason for something you may have found out?"<br>"Find what out? And I most definitely did not do such a thing."

"Okay, were there any rumors you heard about Mallory lately?"  
>"I did hear this outrageous rumor that she was pregnant. I was going to ask Mallory about it tomorrow night when she danced."<p>

The detectives looked at each other.  
>Daddy just looked at them. "Wait, was she or is she pregnant?"<p>

"We can't disclose that information."  
>"If that little bitch is pregnant-"<br>Elliot jumped in at that remark. "Hey! That 'little bitch's' name is Mallory. If you call her that again, I will be collaring your ass for assault."

"Assault? For what?"  
>"You've never hit any of your dancers?"<br>Peter was silent for the first time that night.  
>"Detective Benson, do you take that as a yes?," Elliot said sarcastically. "I do take it as a yes Detective Stabler."<p>

"Have any of the dancers complained about Mallory lately?"  
>"No, not that I recall. There was a guy complaining about her husband though."<p>

"You wouldn't happen to have this guys name would you?"  
>"What do I get for telling you?"<br>"You don't get taken in for obstruction," Olivia stated with her eyebrow raised.

"Wow, you really know how to make someone feel comfortable don't you? The guys name is Drew. Drew Miakes, or something like that. Is that all, your scaring away my customers."

"That's all we've got, for now." Olivia pulled Elliot away as she said it.

"That jackass is really gonna have a problem if he keeps giving me the stink eye."  
>"El, come on that's the least of our problems. We have to get back to the precinct and possibly pull an all nighter, then we have a new suspect in this tangled, messed up web of suspects."<p>

"Yeah, and that raincheck to worry about." He gave her a chessy grin.  
>"That too. You really shouldn't be focused on that at work, though. It's a distraction." She smirked at him as they got into their car.<br>"Your always a distraction for me."

**$^(&^%$**

**That suspect pool just keeps getting bigger. Who do you think did it? ;)**


	13. Hidden secrets

It was like Deja Vu for the detectives as they once again returned to the precinct. Elliot started listing the itinerary for the night. It was midnight.

"Alright so we gotta let Mallory loose for the night and then we get to start investigating that Drew guy. Where the hell are Munch and Fin?"

Cragen came from out of nowhere it seemed. "I sent them home. They didn't have anything else to do. Oh, and I already sent Mallory home. It's bad for the baby if she doesn't get sleep."

"Oh, one check mark on that very long list. Goodie," Olivia smiled sarcastically as she said it.  
>"I want the paperwork for this case on my desk by 10 am tomorrow morning. Sorry guys. IPP would be up my ass for it if it isn't there."<br>"Cap, me and Liv were planning on staying anyways. We have to start looking up Miakes and see what's up with that guy."

"See you in the morning guys." Cragen left.  
>"So what do you want to do first?," Olivia asked seriously.<br>Elliot got up from his desk and went over to hers. "I say we get that raincheck out of the way."  
>"Cameras El, there are cameras." She cocked an eyebrow at him.<p>

"I don't care." He leaned over and kissed her.  
>"El...we need to...stop," she said in between the kissing.<p>

"Stop means go." He started grabbing her.  
>"Then go means stop. So go." She pulled away from him. She was serious now.<p>

He stopped and asked her, "What's wrong Liv?" He was worried he had crossed a line.  
>"Nothing, we just have to get this shit done by morning."<br>"Okay then. I'm sorry."

"It's not you. It's me. I mean that. I'm sorry. I'll explain some other time just not now." She was afraid of what he would think of her when she told him her deepest secret that she hadn't revealed that first night at the Chinese restaurant.

"Liv, if you don't feel the same way I do about you, just tell me now."  
>"El, I mean it, it's just me right now. I'm not really feeling up to doing what you have in mind. I feel the same way you do. That's why I kissed you earlier. I just have...I guess you could say I have unfinished business."<p>

"Okay. I won't ask again, then."  
>"Thanks."<p>

It was around 1 in the morning and there really wasn't much talking between the detectives until they needed to talk about the case. They were almost finished with the first wave of paperwork.

Elliot had to break the silence. "So where are we at with that Miakes character?"

"Well, we know that he grew up in Jersey. He has a steady job, and does not have a wife or kids."  
>"He's a single guy, in his 20's that likes to go to strip clubs. Nothin wrong with that."<p>

"But he has 2 priors. Both for roughing up the strippers boyfriends."  
>"Neither of which were against Jason Toliver."<p>

"He is fully capable of it though."  
>"Yeah, true. Is that all we have on him?"<br>"So far. We are only about an hour into the night though." They continued their pile of paperwork.

Coffee was truly their saving grace that night. They both drank 3 cups by 4 in the morning. They had finished the majority of paperwork. They had to file their 61's for the murder case of Jason Toliver. They were on the final stretch of the night and very excited.

"El, after we're done with this you think Cragen will let us go home?"  
>"I don't know, but I am feeling the stress of getting this shit done."<br>"Yeah. How long do you think it will take?"

"I don't know at least 2 hours, if not longer. Depends on if the computer feels like going to sleep. I know I do."

She smiled at him. He needed to see that. He was worried what was said earlier in the night had created unnecessary problems in their less than 12 hour relationship.  
>Before they knew it, it was 6 30 and Munch and Fin were arriving.<p>

"Hey guys. Were you here all night?," Fin asked cautiously.  
>"Not voluntarily. We got behind because of that day off yesterday so we had to stay all night with that joy they call paperwork." Olivia said sarcastically.<p>

"And you guys ain't crabasses yet. That's a miracle," Fin said with a cocked smile.  
>"Well, if you want crabasses we can give you crabasses Fin." Elliot gave a sarcastic grin. Olivia laughed again.<br>"He's right Fin." She kept laughing.

"Benson, Stabler," Cragen called. "Paperwork finished?"  
>"Yes Cap. All finished actually."<p>

"Good. I need you to go find that Miakes guy and get him in here. He assaulted someone last night. They're holding him at the 2-7 precinct. Sound familiar?"  
>"It's my old precinct," Olivia stated kind of excited already to see everyone again.<br>"Glad you remember. Go." Cragen walked into his office.

"El, are you driving?"  
>"Yeah. Unless you want to." He held out the keys.<p>

"I don't care as long as we get there. It's a good hour drive, so I'm just wondering. Are you gonna screech like a bad record on the way there?"  
>He laughed. She missed it. "I don't know, it depends on if you like to hear my screeching."<p>

"I don't think anyone likes to hear screeching but I don't mind it."

"I always save my screeching for you." He grinned.  
>They got into the car.<p>

**()*#*#$#%$%**

**I kind of tried to make little conflicts for Olivia and Elliot. I don't know if it works well, but then it kinda went back to normal. I had to fill their all nighter with something other than the norm. and better than just skipping over the whole night in general. So, what happens at Liv's old precinct? **


	14. Feeling Safe

**I am kind of afraid of getting to cheesy in this story. I am winging it and just letting it flow. If it is getting cheesy don't hesitate to tell me! Back to the drama...**

**!$#%%^%^#$**

Their road trip to Olivia's precinct was well under way. The screeching had begun. They were laughing, having fun. Then Olivia couldn't take it anymore. She had to tell him.

"El, can I tell you what I didn't tell you last night? Well, this morning?"  
>"Yeah Liv, you can tell me anything. I don't want you to feel like you have to tell me though. If you don't want to, you don't have to."<p>

"I want to, and I have to. About a year ago, I was...I..was.." She couldn't get it out. But she knew she had to. It was the only way to move on in their relationship.

"I was sexually assaulted." She started tearing up.

Elliot almost crashed the car he was so shocked. "Liv, is that why.. Oh my god! I'm so sorry."  
>"Sorry for what? None of it is your fault."<p>

"I'm sorry for coming onto you this morning. If I had known.."

"I don't regret doing what I did last night. It's just sometimes I have flashbacks of it, and this morning was really frustrating because I couldn't just block it out. I have gone through therapy and still have them. I know your probably wondering how it happened. I was undercover. He trapped me. If my old partner hadn't gotten there when he did, I don't know if I would be here with you now. Your also probably wondering why I would transfer to this unit. I wanted to because of what my mother went through and so I can help victims, and maybe help myself by doing it. It's getting easier with time and maybe victims can see what it's like after you get help. I'm fine now. I really am. Better than where I was."

"Liv, I don't even know what to say."  
>"You don't have to say anything. I just wanted you to know because it's a part of my past."<p>

"Does Cragen know?"  
>"Yes. It's one of the first things I told him when I was offered the job. He thought I would be a good asset to your team because I am a good detective. And I know what it's like to be a victim, so I have experience in both areas. He is the only one besides you that knows so could you keep it between us?"<p>

"Yeah Liv of course. I appreciate you tellin me. But I don't want it to ever seem like I am talkin to you like I would talk to a victim. I will admit it's gonna be difficult for me, but I am willing to try. I need you to know that." He held out his hand and she grabbed it. She smiled and she knew he was the one.

They arrived at the precinct a few minutes later. Olivia felt very relieved after telling him. She felt like she wasn't carrying this huge burden alone anymore.

Olivia spotted someone right away she needed to say hi too. "Hey Carl." He turned around and saw her. He instantly got up to give her a hug.

"Olivia! Good to see you. And who might this be?"

"Elliot this is my old partner Carl. Carl, this is my new partner Elliot." They shook hands.

"Good to meet you Carl. Olivia here has told me some great things about you."

"Oh has she now? Olivia I know your not going around bragging about me."  
>She smiled at him. "Just the important parts. We are here to pick up a suspect, though. Where is Drew Miakes?"<p>

"Ah right this way. He is talking the cell guard's ear off."

"Hey Drew, your free to go."  
>"Really?"<p>

"Free to go somewhere else."  
>"Carl that was mean," Elliot said to him sarcastically. "We have the best possible accomodations for murder suspects."<p>

"Whoa murder? I'm here for assaulting some dude."

"And we are here to take you off this Detectives hands," Olivia said. "Thanks Carl. Hopefully we can catch up some time soon," she said as she walked out their murder suspect.  
>"Of course Olivia. See ya later."<p>

"Yupp. See ya."

The entire ride back to the precinct was pure hell for Olivia and Elliot. Drew would not shutup. And he was talking really fast and hyper.

"Oh my god so then there was this one time at the strip club where this girl sat on my lap and I farted and she got up and slapped me and I walked away. Then there was another time where I kissed a girl who was dancing for me and she had sex with me that night. Then there is of course another time-"

"DREW! Shutup before my fist does it for you!," Elliot yelled in frustration.

"Go ahead I can sue you for police brutality." Drew was right. Then continued talking. The detectives tried to block him out. When that didn't work they blasted the music. They only heard him talking louder. They couldn't get to the precinct fast enough.

"Captain, is there any way to shut this guy up! Please tell me there is. He is driving us insane," Elliot said desparately.

"No, but I can put him in interrogation room 1 alone for a while. Let you two go get some sleep in the crib."  
>"Sounds good. Drew go right in here for us." Elliot almost pushed him he had such a headache from him. "I didn't know I would actually be appreciative of quiet!"<p>

Olivia laughed at him. "That is definitely a first for me."  
>"Yeah me too."<br>They headed to the crib.

"I don't think bed has ever looked so good." Elliot headed to a separate bunk, trying not to make her uncomfortable.

"El."  
>"Yeah?"<br>"You can come sleep here with me if you want."  
>"Are you sure-"<br>"I'm not a victim remember El? I'm sure."

For the first time, they slept in the same bed. And for the first time in a year, Olivia felt safe. She didn't have one nightmare with him there wrapped around her. She only dreamt of him. He only dreamt of her. It was perfect.

Then they heard the door opening...

**$&*(%$#**

**okay so i know there wasn't as much drama at her old precinct as i woulda liked, but one bombshell at a time is being dropped haha. i hope its not cheesy but hey what do i know lol. there is so much left unfinished. elliots soon to be ex wife kathy for one. then whodunnit? who murdered the rapist? will they strike again? what happens next with olivia and elliot?**


	15. Jealousy perhaps?

**Then they heard the door opening...**

Elliot was wrapped around Olivia and he had never jumped up so fast in his life.  
>"Hey Captain. What's up?"<br>"We need you guys down here. Miakes is still going insane. Literally. We need a confession or we gotta let him loose."

"Alright I was about to get Liv up. We'll be down in a minute." He was standing beside the bed when Cragen walked in. Olivia was pretending to be asleep as to give the impression that nothing was happening. Cragen left shortly after opening the door.

She sighed heavily. "Holy shit El that was close."  
>"Yeah tell me about it. You heard him we gotta get down there."<br>"Yeah I know. I just don't wanna move. How long were we asleep?"  
>Elliot checked his phone.<p>

"An hour. It is now 11 am. I hope Drew isn't talkin half as much as he was otherwise it's gonna be a short lived interrogation. My fists are gonna end it for him."

Olivia just laughed at him. She knew he was annoyed with Drew, and so was she, but wasn't sure if he was actually serious.

30 minutes later they had coffee in their systems and ready to go interrogate Drew. This was going to be their first true interrogation together, and both were kind of nervous. They already had chemistry, that wasn't the problem. Chemistry and flow in the interrogation room is very important, and they knew it.

"Ready Benson?"  
>"This isn't my first rodeo Stabler. I'm ready. The question is are you ready?" She smirked at him.<br>"I'm always ready."

They opened the door to find Drew talking feverishly to himself and pacing back and forth. He didn't even acknowledge their presence.

"Drew," Elliot started. "Do you know why your here?"  
>"I-the stripper..money..fun..and..-" Drew was moving his fingers alot and fidgeting.<br>"Okay Drew, can you answer some of our questions?"  
>"I-don't know..the strippers..fun..money.."<p>

Dr. George Huang was watching from outside the room with Captain Cragen.

"What the hell is up with this guy? He hasn't stopped talking since we collared him. And at the other precinct he was chatting the guard's ear off. He's assaulted two of the strippers boyfriends."

"I can tell he has some kind of sex addiction as a way to try to cope with the disorder or disorders he has. He's more or less the type of addict who just needs a companion. That explains the rage with men giving the women attention at the club. I don't think he is capable of killing though. He may have ADHD and Bipolar Disorder. He is very fidgety and talks nonstop. Then the fits of rage over something as small as a stripper having a boyfriend and going back to normal afterward. It fits the typical profile for both disorders. It's rare to have these two disorders in the same person, but it is possible. I would need his medical records though to verify either of these diagnoses."

"So in other words he isn't responsible for his actions since he's got at least one disorder?"  
>"If he stopped taking medication voluntarily he is still responsible, but he may have never been diagnosed."<p>

"That's great for our case," Cragen said kind of annoyed. He knocked on the glass to get Olivia and Elliot out of the room because they weren't getting anywhere with Drew anyways. If Huang was right he wasn't their killer and wasn't responsible for the assaults.

"Hey. Huang says this guy isn't the killer. He has some type of disorder, or multiple disorders wrapped into one."  
>"We couldn't tell at all this guy was a loon," Elliot said to him. "He acts completely normal."<p>

"Yeah, I know. Sorry to break the news. That means you two still have a killer to catch. Get to work. If and when you get some new leads you can go home." He walked towards his office.

"So much for a first interrogation. That was just listening to a crazy person ramble on and on about strippers. Next one, we'll get a confession," Elliot said with confidence.  
>"Oh is that another one of your promises Stabler?," she said as she raised her eyebrows.<br>"It is another promise Benson. And as you know quite well I always keep my promises," he stated slyly as they walked away from the interrogation room.

If anything Olivia and Elliot knew they would be home before 10 that night. They knew Cragen wouldn't let them pull another all nighter unless absolutely necessary.

"Hey whatta know? We finally have the ballistics results from the murder," Elliot told Olivia. He read the piece of paper and his face of annoyance turned into shock as he read the results. "It's a .44 calliber gun. Police issued."

"We're dealing with a dirty cop. This day just keeps getting better and better."

"Uh, Liv," Elliot kept reading. "This gun is directly registered to cops at the 2-7 precinct."

Olivia looked stunned. She couldn't even begin to comprehend what he had just said to her. Somebody she worked with was a cold-blooded killer. Just then Cragen came out of his office.

"Olivia, Elliot, your killer just struck again. 2934 Towner Avenue. Victim's dead, same MO."

"Liv, you okay?"

"Uh yeah let's go." They started walking down the hall. Olivia was in denial. "There is just no way someone at the 2-7 did it. I was there for 3 years and not once did someone ever get enraged enough to kill."

"Liv there have been plenty of dirty cops all over. It's not the first time this has happened."  
>"El they were in my old precinct! They could have killed me if they wanted to."<p>

Just then a thought occurred to Elliot. "Isn't it a bit strange that someone is killing rapists now that your at SVU? Maybe there's a little jealousy going on from someone you used to work with?"

"If they were that jealous they would kill me or people here."

They got into their car, on their way to the crime scene of the second murder victim. They were ready to find the dirty cop, Olivia was ready to get this overwith and done. She still couldn't wrap her mind around the thought that somebody she knew for 3 years was capable of killing. Who was it? Why? How? It could be anybody. That's what scared her the most. These thoughts haunted her all the way to the crime scene.

**#%^&*&^%**

**There are lots of people at Olivia's old precinct. who do you think is killing rapists?**


	16. Accusations

Elliot could tell Olivia was taking it hard. She had every right to though. Those people were her friends, her acquaintances, and co-workers.

When they arrived at the crime scene, there were multiple cop cars already on scene and an ambulance. Olivia and Elliot spotted ME Warner in front of the building.

"Hey Warner. Cragen told us this was the same MO as the other shooting. Execution style, raped with a foreign object?"

"Yeah. Whoever did this had some serious rage," she told them.

Elliot and Olivia looked at each other. Then Olivia started telling Warner what they had found out.

"Uh, we found out that we're dealing with a dirty cop. From my old precinct."

"Oh my god. Do you know who?"  
>"Not yet."<p>

"Well, like I said whoever your dealing with has a lot of rage. From what I hear he's killing rapists only?"

"Yeah."

"I hope you catch them soon."

"We hope so too."

Olivia and Elliot headed up to the 7th floor of the building. When they opened the door it looked normal at first.

Then they moved to the living room off to the left. They saw their victim lying on the floor, in a pool of blood face down. There was a pattern of blood spatter on the wall consistent with the type of shooting.

O'hallaran was near the body collecting evidence.

"Hey guys. So far we know he was a rapist. Name is Joe Crate. He had a slew of videos in his bedroom of women. Some of them were the rapes he committed. Others were him stalking women."

Elliot looked at him. "Isn't that against his probation to have any type of video?"

"Yeah, but probation officers never look in floor boards. He had these well hidden in between two of them. We wouldn't have noticed if it wasn't for one of them busted open already. I think the killer did that as to prove Joe here was a rapist before killing him. Oh, this time there's DNA, so hopefully you can catch the killer."

He handed the detectives an evidence bag with a blond short hair.

Olivia was still taking it hard. "Well if they are a cop his DNA should be in the system. If this is the killer's DNA."

"We found this hair on the back of him. Consistent with where the hair would be of the killer if he was standing behind him when they shot him."

Elliot could tell Olivia was getting flustered. "Can you call us when you have the results at the lab?"

"Yeah, of course."  
>"Thanks." They started leaving the crime scene. As soon as they got outside Elliot turned towards Olivia.<br>"Liv, are you okay?"  
>"Peachy, El," she said sarcastically. "Can we just leave please?"<br>"Yeah, let's go. Maybe Cragen will let us go home for a while."

Just then Elliot's phone rang. Ironically enough, it was Cragen.

"Hey Captain, I was just about to call you. Okay. Yeah. No problem. Bye. He wants us to be back at the precinct for a bit. He didn't say why. Then we can go home for the day."

"That's the best news I've heard all day."

When they arrived back at the precinct, they were both exhausted. First thing they went for was coffee. When they got back to their desks, Elliot noticed he had a letter of some sort. He opened it.

"What the fuck?"

"What is it El?"

"Kathy. She's claiming that I abused her while we were married."

"That's insane!"

"I know. If anyone was abused it was me. 3 years of pure hell." He laughed. "Doesn't surprise me though. She's always been a drama queen, as you saw that morning at my house. The same as when she claimed I was cheating on her. Son of a bitch. I guess everybody's got their way of movin on. Just something else to add to our lovely day right?"

"Yeah. Nothing like finding out that someone from an old job is a killer and that your ex-wife is nuts."  
>"Our lives. Wow." He scoffed in frustration.<p>

Cragen came out of his office. "Olivia, Elliot, I needed you to stay a bit because Munch and Fin are out working a separate case. I needed you guys here for the phones mainly. They will be back in an hour or so, then you guys can go home for the day. Oh and Olivia, sorry to hear about what's goin on."

"Me too," she said as Cragen walked back into his office. "Well, we might as well get started on that paperwork."

"Yeah, I guess so. Nothin better to do. Well, there is, just not right this minute." He smiled at her.

"Concentrate on work El."  
>"Okay mom," he said with an Eeyore like voice as he reached for his paperwork.<p>

"That was a horrible impression."  
>"Hey, a guy can try."<p>

"Yeah, every guy but you." She held in a laugh. "That's like me trying to do Bugs Bunny."  
>"Oh, let's hear it."<p>

"Later, and that is a promise. Right now let's get this done." She cocked a smile at him.

Munch and Fin arrived at the precinct. Not soon enough for Elliot and Olivia. It was 4 in the afternoon. Olivia and Elliot, aside from their hour nap, had been up for well over 24 hours. Cragen came out and told them, "Alright, you guys can go. Just be prepared to get that paperwork done soon. Lab should have the results from the crime scene tomorrow morning."

"No problem Captain. See you tomorrow."

They truly could not get out of there fast enough. They were exhausted and both of them had a tough day.  
>"Hey Liv, wanna go get some Chinese food?," he asked her seriously.<br>"You act as if I'm gonna say no to that offer." She smiled at him.

"Just makin sure."

They went to their favorite Chinese restaurant once again. That seemed to be their go to place when they had extensive problems in their personal lives. They also hadn't eaten since dinner the night before. Their orders were the same as the first time, ABC chicken with extra gravy for Olivia, and Hot Thai Beef for Elliot.

They sat down. Surprisingly, the music playing was country. "Oh I love this song." Elliot started singing to Luke Bryan's 'I don't want this night to end.'

"I'm set on cruise control, I'm slowly losing hope, of everything I've got, your lookin so damn hot, and I don't know what road we're on or where we've been, from starin at you girl. All I know is I don't want this night to end."

Elliot was bustin out some moves to the rhythm of the song. Olivia was laughing, not only because of Elliot, but because he was attracting the stares of many chinese people.

"Elliot. Oh my god you need to stop. I can't...stop laughing."  
>"That's okay I like your laugh." He smiled at her.<p>

"Thanks for embarrasing yourself to cheer me up. Good song. Your screeching matched it perfectly."  
>"Glad I could help. Shall I continue?"<br>"No! You've got a bunch of people staring at us acting like 12 year olds."

"Well, I think it's time I come clean Liv. I am 12. At heart."  
>"Oh you are now? That makes sense." She kept laughing.<p>

"Hey, you promised. Where's that impression of Bugs Bunny?"

She thought about it. He just sang to cheer her up, she could give one lousy impression for him. She picked up a breadstick, pretending it was a carrot. "Ehh, what's up dock?" She gave her best Bugs Bunny impression while chomping on a breadstick.

"Liv, it was great. You should go into doing cartoon characters for a living."  
>"Really, now?," she said sarcastically, knowing he was joking.<br>"No."  
>She laughed at him.<p>

They finished up their meals and headed home. They had a crazy couple days ahead and they were ready for it.

**$%^&*&^%$**

**Well then. How sweet! after their crappy day at work they cheer each other up. true love ;) and that is a real song by luke bryan, great song, which i do not own!**

**Some things were found out, opening up more craziness for the story. next up we find who the killer is. what happens between kathy and elliot? thanks for reading! thanks ahead for any reviews!**


	17. Baby steps

Elliot and Olivia arrived back at the apartment at around 5 30. They both headed for the couch.

"What do you wanna watch?," Olivia asked him.  
>"I'm watching the best thing possible." He was looking at her. She smiled when she saw what he was looking at.<p>

"I'm sure we can find something better to look at." She turned back towards the tv. They were cuddled up on the couch.

She leaned over to kiss him. "Thank you."

"For what?"  
>"For being here for me. For not giving up."<br>"Liv I wouldn't ever give up on you. I mean that."

She passionately kissed him. They both meant it. But Elliot was the one to stop it this time.  
>"Liv, I don't wanna move to fast-"<p>

"Do you see me complaining?"  
>"No but I don't want you to feel uncomfortable." She started unbuttoning his shirt and climbed on top of him. He was taking her shirt off.<p>

"Hey your getting to second base here. Don't complain to much." She smiled and continued kissing his neck and chest.

"See me complaining? I'm just watching out for you."  
>"What did I say? Don't worry. If I ever get uncomfortable I will let you know."<p>

"Well in that case..." He flipped her onto her back and started kissing her. "I can't be the one to let you do all the work."

They continued to make out for about 15 minutes. He was shirtless and so was she. Then Elliot's phone rang.

"It's like they fucking know." He moved off of her and grabbed his cell phone off of the floor.

"Stabler. Yeah Munch what do you want? Nah, I'm gonna stay in tonight. I'll see you tomorrow." He hung up the phone and threw it on the floor.

"Munch wanted to invite me to go out for drinks tonight with everyone." Olivia's cell phone rang. She dug it out from underneath their shirts.

"Benson. Oh hey Munch. No thanks. I'm not feelin so great. I think I might have a bug. See you in the morning."

She threw her phone on the coffee table. "He wanted to see if I wanted to go out for drinks."  
>She smiled as Elliot leaned in to kiss her again. His cell phone rang again.<br>"Oh my god the insanity never stops!"

"Stabler. Uhm hello Mr. Langan. Your calling me for what? An appointment? To see you and Kathy?" Elliot was looking at Olivia while he was talking.

"I don't have a lawyer but I will get one. Thanks. That was Trevor Langan. He's my ex wife's divorce lawyer. Wants me to meet them tomorrow at 3 for a 1 on 1. Wants to start discussing divorce proceedings."  
>"That's great."<p>

"Not great. Now I have to find a divorce lawyer I can afford." He moved off of her and sat up.

"I know a few people who know some people. I'm sure I can find you a good one."

He looked at her, almost stunned she would do that for him. She started talking again, after realizing the shock on his face.

"We're partners Stabler. For better or worse." He smiled at her and kissed her.  
>"You are amazing, you know that?"<p>

"Yes actually. I do," she said with a cocky tone to it. "Alright, Stabler, I don't know about you, but I am in the mood for some Chocolate Moose Tracks. We still have it from our grocery shopping catastrophe."

She got up from the couch and got her shirt on. Then went to the freezer to get the ice cream.

"It's not a catastrophe. That ice cream is the most beautiful creation of food ever made."  
>"Besides chinese?"<p>

"Oh, that's a tough choice Benson. I'll get back to you on that one."

She returned to the couch with a pint of ice cream and two spoons. They turned on the tv. One of Olivia's favorite shows was on, Psych.  
>"Have you ever watched this show?"<br>"Nope."  
>"Well, your about to start. Shawn and Gus together are hilarious. Not as outrageous as Jackass but it's funny."<p>

They enjoyed their ice cream with the show. There was a marathon and Olivia got Elliot hooked on the show. He wanted to know more. "So Shawn is not a real psychic?"  
>"No he just knows how to spot all the fine details and remember them."<p>

"He would come in handy at our precinct. Make our jobs a hell of a lot easier."

She smiled and leaned over to kiss him again. "It's 11. Ready for bed?"

"I am if you are." He picked her up and kissed her on their way to the bedroom. He put her down so he could go get changed in his room. She got changed in her room. They really didn't want to move to fast, and they both said it to each other without words.

Elliot returned to her bedroom. She was already laying in bed. He crawled into bed next to her and wrapped around her like he had at the precinct, except now he didn't have to worry about getting caught by the Captain.

Olivia was thankful that he was there with her. For the second time, he made all her flashbacks and nightmares disappear.

Elliot was thankful to have her. She was perfect to him. They slept soundly until 5 30.  
>"Give me 10 more minutes. I don't wanna move."<p>

"Me neither, Liv, but we have to get there before 6 30 or Cragen will have our asses. We have to get on that paperwork. We find out who our murderer is today," he said with a cheery tone.

She just laughed. "You sound a bit to excited about that."

"Yeah excited to close the case. It's the only thing we've got right now. I'm gonna go shower. I'll be out in a few."

"Kay." She knew she had to get up.

Her only motivation was coffee. Elliot came out of the shower and got dressed. She drank a full cup of coffee before getting in the shower.

They were ready and out the door by 6 15. Elliot was right about one thing: They were going to find out who their killer was today.

**#$%^%$#**

**I have to admit that this chapter was difficult for me because I didn't know what to do with it. I figured I could make it a calm night between the two of them. now the story picks back up. what happens at the meeting between Elliot and Kathy? who does olivia get as elliots divorce lawyer? ;)**


	18. He isn't leaving

"And so another day of work begins," Elliot said as they entered the precinct.

"It could have been much worse. We could have been stuck here all night last night."

"Benson, Stabler, lab has the DNA results. O'hallaran said to meet him in the lab." They got right back into the elevator and headed to the lab.

"Hey guys. The DNA results don't match any detectives working."

"So there's a dead end?" Olivia sighed heavily.

"No, it doesn't match any detectives. But it does match a security guard in the precinct. His name is Nathan Phillips."

Olivia was speechless. She was zoning out until Elliot started putting his hand on her. She jumped out of it.  
>"What?"<p>

"Liv, do you know who he is?"  
>"Yeah I-..I went out with him. I turned him down for a second date, though. About 2 years ago. I still said hi to him. I walked past him every morning before I went into the precinct. I thought everything was okay."<p>

"Guns given to the precinct are also given to the guards. DNA is taken to run backgrounds on anyone who is hired at a precinct. Now we need a confession. Let's go pick Nathan up for a nice chat. Thanks O'Hallaran." Elliot was on the phone with Cragen to tell him where they were going.

"Liv, are you okay?," he asked, putting his hand on her hand.  
>She chuckled. "About as fine as I could be after finding out an ex is a murderer," she said with a sad undertone. Elliot already noticed after a week of knowing her she was very guarded with her emotions.<p>

"I guess you may feel better when we ream this guy in interrogations," Elliot said, hoping to cheer her up a bit.  
>"You mean our first interrogation? That should be fun." She gave a slight smile to him.<p>

They arrived at the 2-7. Olivia was nervous about seeing Nathan again, now that she knew what he truly was: a cold-blooded killer.

Olivia spotted Nathan first at the door. "Hey Nathan." She gave a fake smile, acting like everything was normal.  
>"H..Hi Olivia. How..How's it goin?" He was stuttering over his own words.<p>

"Great, one thing though. I'm gonna need you to turn around. Nathan Phillips you are under ar-AH!" He elbowed her in the chest and took off running in the opposite direction. Elliot tried to catch him with one hand but he ran fast. He checked on Olivia first. She was conscious. "Liv! Are you okay?"

"Yes! Go! He's getting away!" Elliot got up and ran as fast as he could to catch him. Nathan had a head start. Olivia slowly got up to be a part of the chase but she was to sore. Something was wrong with her. She collapsed back to the ground. "This is SVU portable to central. Officer down. I've been hurt. Send a bus. 2-7 precinct in Brooklyn." She was clutching her chest.

Elliot was about 20 feet behind Nathan, and closing in. His adrenaline was rushing and he was pissed this guy had hurt Olivia. He sped up thinking about that alone. _Dammit I should run more._

He was only a few feet away. He had to make a decision because Nathan was headed for a busy intersection. Elliot saw an opening. He tackled Nathan to the ground, flipped him over, and started punching him like crazy.

"You son of a bitch!" He punched a few more times then thought about Olivia. He stopped.

"Nathan Phillips, you are under arrest for the murders of Jason Toliver and Joe Crate. You have the right to an attorney. If you give up that right anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. If you cannot afford one one will be appointed to you..." He continued reading his rights. "Do you understand these rights as they have been read to you?"

Phillips answered with a faint, "Yes." He barely answered because of the fists Elliot just used on him. They had a good quarter mile to walk back to the car. Elliot was gritting his teeth all the way back to the car, resisting the urge to continue the beating he was giving Nathan.

As they got closer they saw an ambulance. Elliot panicked. He forced Nathan to speed up his walking. Since he was groggy it took some pushing on Elliot's part. Elliot saw Olivia sitting on a stretcher. "Liv!" He gave Phillips to an officer standing by at the scene so he could be by Olivia's side. "What happened?"

"El. I'm fine. Nathan broke 2 of my ribs when he elbowed me. They wanna take me to the hospital and make sure nothing else is wrong. Other than that I'm fine."

"I have to get him to holding then I will meet you at the hospital okay?" He looked around to see if anyone was looking. No one was. He gave her a passionate kiss. "I love you."

Olivia got choked up. "El, I.." She went unconscious.  
>"LIV! What's wrong with her?," he yelled at the EMT's.<p>

"We have to get her to the hospital now! She may have internal bleeding." They made sure Elliot wasn't going before they closed the doors and got to the hospital as quickly as possible.

Elliot drove like a mad man back to the precinct. He was tearing up thinking about losing Liv. When he got back to the precinct he informed everyone. Cragen told him to go. It was 9 in the morning.

Elliot turned on his siren to get to the hospital faster. She was at St. Mathews hospital.  
>"I'm Detective Stabler. I need to know where Olivia Benson is," he said to the receptionist.<p>

"Room 352 on floor 3." Elliot barely let her finish until he was running to the stairs. He could get up there faster if he didn't take the elevator. His thoughts were racing.

He ran into her room to find her asleep. The doctor was there.  
>"Is she gonna be okay?"<p>

"She will be fine. She has the broken ribs, and there was some internal bleeding that caused her to go unconscious. We got it drained and she will be fine. She may be out for a bit but your more than welcome to wait with her."

"Thank you." He took a huge sigh knowing that she was going to be okay. He went and sat next to her and took her hand into his. He just sat there with her, staring at how beautiful she looked. He couldn't stand it if he never saw her face again. He wouldn't be able to live. He sat there staring at her beauty until she opened her eyes.

Her face lit up when she saw him. Elliot leaned over and kissed her. "I love you."  
>Olivia was afraid to say it and Elliot saw it. "What's wrong Liv?"<p>

"El, it's just everyone I've ever said it to has disappeared." She was tearing up again.  
>"I'm not going anywhere. I love you more than anyone in the world."<p>

She inhaled deeply, as deeply as she could without hurting her chest.  
>"I love you too El."<br>They kissed so passionately the working staff stopped to admire. He was never leaving, and now she knew it.

**&&^%$#**

**I had to throw something in there that was different. make it dramatic ;) I figured that was a good place to end this chap. in the next couple chaps...kathy. enough said. also, what happens in Olivia and Elliot's first interrogation? thanks to whoevers reading/reviewing :)**


	19. It's a done deal

It was now noon. Elliot and Olivia just sat in the hospital room, together. Elliot wasn't thinking about anything else besides her, but Olivia reminded him of other obligations he had that day.

"Hey, El, don't you have that thing with Kathy today?"  
>"Oh shit. I completely forgot. I can call and reschedule. I need to stay with you and I still don't have a lawyer, anyways."<p>

"I meant to tell you this morning. I made a call last night. I hired you a good lawyer. Her name is Casey Novak, a friend of mine from college. She is going to meet you there."

He kissed her. "Thank you Liv. I can't wait til everything is overwith. And another thing, we are waiting until you are better to get Phillips to confess. We get to add assault of a police officer to his charges."

"I saw him for a second El. What the hell did you do to the guy?," Olivia asked.

"I gave him a message, that's all." He smirked at her. "You need your rest. I'm gonna go talk to the doctor, okay?"  
>She nodded as her answer. She quickly drifted off to sleep because of the drugs coursing through her body.<p>

Elliot was going to talk to the doctor, but also call Cragen and see if anyone had talked to Nathan yet.  
>"Hey Cap. Where is Nathan?"<p>

"He is in a holding cell. We are holding out for you guys to get back. How's she doing?"

"She's good. She's got a couple broken ribs and she had minor internal bleeding that they have under control. They said they will release her in the morning if she continues to do well."  
>"Good."<p>

"Cap, I have to tell you. You know about me and Kathy obviously. Today I am supposed to meet her at 3 to start divorce proceedings. Then I am coming back here to stay with Liv until she is released if that's okay."

"Yeah, that's fine. Just get here by tomorrow morning if she is up to it. If not you can go at him in the interrogation alone."

"She is not going to let me do that alone. She is to stubborn for that." He slightly smiled thinking about her.  
>"Maybe, just make sure with her. Keep me posted."<br>"Will do. Bye."

Elliot stopped the doctor again. "Is she still getting released in the morning?"  
>"If everything goes as planned. She is doing really well. We want to have her up and walking soon just to make sure everything is okay."<p>

"Okay, thanks." Elliot went back into the hospital room and just watched Olivia sleep.

He was in there for about a half hour when all of a sudden she jumped awake.  
>"Liv, I'm right here. What's wrong?"<p>

"Nightmare." She grabbed his hand. "I'm better now though."

"Good. Hey, the doctors say they wanna try to get you up and walking in a while if you feel up to it."  
>"Yeah, sounds awesome," she said as she tried to readjust back to being comfortable to the best of her ability.<p>

"You don't have to do it Liv."  
>"I'm fine, just sore. I have to if we wanna go interrogate Phillips together. I'll be sore for a couple weeks they said, so I've gotta get used to it," she said looking at him.<p>

"Maybe. I just don't want you to push yourself to hard."  
>"El, I'll be fine."<p>

Just then the doctor walked in asking all the typical questions.  
>"Are you feeling up to walking right now?"<p>

"Yeah, I'm ready." Elliot was with her helping her sit up and helping her out of bed. She stood up and almost stood straight up. She was hunched over a little bit at first, but then she pushed through the pain to stand straight up. She started walking slowly at first then started slowly picking up her pace. She still had her arm around Elliot in case. But she was close to walking normal. That was a good sign for the doctor. Elliot was relieved. Olivia was relieved, too.

The doctor told her when they got back to the room. "Olivia, it looks like your doing excellent. Everything is healing quite nicely. If everything continues going well, we will release you first thing in the morning."

"Great. Thanks Doctor Mills," she said, slowly leaning back into her bed.  
>"No problem." He left.<p>

It was now 2 in the afternoon, and Elliot had to leave her to go meet with Kathy.  
>"Hey, Liv, I'll be back as soon as this meeting is over, I promise."<br>"Okay, El. See you in a bit." He kissed her and then left.

The drive to her apartment was agonizing. He didn't want to leave her. He was so nervous that something would go wrong while he was gone, and if it did, he would feel even more horrible than he already did. He showered and headed to the conference hall for the meeting.

He met his attorney there, Casey Novak. "Elliot? Hi good to meet you. I am Casey Novak, your divorce lawyer." She held out her hand.

"Hi Casey." He held out his hand to meet hers." They started walking towards the meeting room, in no rush because it was only 2 45.  
>"So Olivia tells me you knew her in college?"<p>

"Yeah. We were best friends all through college, and we went our separate ways with our careers but we keep in touch, but this isn't about me, it's about you. I've read over your case, and she's got some pretty outrageous accusations. I have her side, so let's get yours."

"For one, I have never hit her. She got pissed off because I didn't always come home because I was always at work. I have never in my life raped any woman, and for her to claim that is just unbelievable. I work with SVU and my morals are way above rape and abuse. Oh, and I have also never cheated on her. I have a new partner, and she thought I was sleeping with her and apparently every other woman in town when I didn't come home."

"This case is going to be difficult because it is a he said/she said with no evidence to support your side or her side. She is almost trying to just drain you emotionally dragging you through this. If the story is that simple, this should be interesting."

They walked into the meeting room. Everybody took their seats and started talking.  
>Kathy's attorney Trevor Langan spoke first.<p>

"I just wanna start by saying that my client is very hurt by your clients physical, mental, and emotional abuse that she endured. She also wants to say that she is terrified for her life so she has filed a restraining order against your client. As for the cheating, he cheated all through their relationship she said."

Casey smiled a sarcastic smile. "Well, Trevor, you haven't changed one bit. Elliot here tells a completely different story. He says that he has never touched a woman inappropriately. This includes rape, physical, mental, and emotional abuse. If anyone was cheating it was her, and he was always at work late. He has proof to that. Here are his documents stating he was at work on each alleged night he was with someone else. That restraining order will be thrown out by the way, because there is no evidence linking Elliot to any of these charges. Anything else?"

"Elliot, you know you were cheating!" Kathy grabbed across the table for him.  
>"Well I think that pretty much answers that," Casey said, satisfied that Kathy was making it easier to deal with this. "Now we have to start discussing splitting the belongings."<p>

"Kathy wants all the furniture. Desks, couches, etcetera. Anything that is considered furniture, she wants it."

Casey leaned over to consult with Elliot. "She can have everything. He wants his clothes, shoes, and any valuable possessions that were his previously. His watches, and any cologne that is still there."

Langan and Casey closed that deal. Now it was just a matter of getting things finalized, getting that outlandish temporary restraining order against Elliot dropped, and making sure Kathy left him alone.

"Thanks Casey. That was incredibly easy compared to what I thought it would be."

"Well you made it easy because you asked for what was yours. Nice meeting you. Call me if and when you need me." She handed him her card.

"Yupp. Thanks again." He left and rushed back to the hospital.

**%&^%$#**

**Now, Elliot rushes back to the hospital. Do they interrogate their murderer together? What about Kathy? Is she gone for good? thanks for reading/reviewing. :)**


	20. Is he crazy?

Elliot returned to the hospital. Olivia was up and watching tv.

"Hey babe." He leaned down and kissed her. In his hand was a dozen roses.  
>"El, their beautiful. You didn't have to bring me anything though."<p>

"I did, Liv. Because I love you. Your in the hospital, and I got you to smile. I love your smile. I love your personality, and everything about you. I don't know what I would have done if something worse would have happened to you."

She was tearing up a little bit at how much he actually cared for her. She smiled at him, trying to lighten the mood. "I know what you would have done. You would have killed Nathan."  
>"Yeah, I might still do that." He grinned at her.<p>

"So how did that meeting go today?," she asked changing the subject and tone of the conversation.

"Not as horrible as it could have been. Granted, Kathy tried to lunge across the table to grab me. Casey really helped me out today. But now Kathy is trying to get a restraining order because, according to her, I abused her throughout our relationship. She said... that I raped her."

Olivia looked shocked. She knew the pain of being a victim and was offended that Kathy would make those kinds of allegations towards the most caring man she knew.

"Well we both know those are lies."

"Yeah, I know, but she is going to make our lives pure hell as much as she can," Elliot warned.  
>"And we'll deal with that as best as we can."<p>

"Liv, she's crazy. I don't want you getting hurt because-" His face showed every emotion he was feeling and he was feeling sad, angry, worried, and horrible that she was in this position.

"Hey, El. I'm not running away because of your crazy ex wife. You've been here with me through all of this. Your not leaving me, and I won't be leaving you." She squeezed his hands tighter. "We will always be together. I love you."

"I love you too." He leaned over and kissed her, knowing that this was forever. He climbed into the tiny hospital bed together and they fell asleep.

They stayed asleep until 5 the next morning.

He looked down at her, seeing her waking up as well. "Well, nothing like a 10 hour sleep next to the most beautiful woman in the world to put me in a good mood."  
>She smiled at him.<p>

"I feel a whole lot better today, like I'm gonna kick someone's ass in the interrogation room."

He laughed at her as she got up to go to the restroom, not half as stiff as the day before. She was still sore but the doctors told her that since she had been in shape before her injury that she would heal much faster.

"Hey Elliot could you come here for a second?" He got out of bed to find her shirtless with her arms around to her back holding up the dressing she needed to wrap her ribs in. He stopped in his tracks and started staring at her.

"Quit drooling Stabler and help me clip this up, would ya?"  
>He shook his head once to knock himself out of it. "I'm sorry your beautiful. I can't help if I stare."<p>

He helped her clip it up and helped her get her on because it hurt her to raise her arms above her head still.  
>"Thanks. This is gonna be hell for about a week or so and then I shouldn't be so sore. I'm ready to leave if you are."<p>

"Yeah. I'm fine. Wanna go grab coffee or something before we head to the precinct?," he asked.

"Sure, wanna grab Starbucks? I'm in the mood for a Caramel Machiado. Crazy expensive but worth it." She chuckled.  
>"That's fine. I ain't gettin no Caramel Machiado though," he said sarcastically.<p>

They grabbed the rest of their stuff and signed out of the hospital.

By the time they got to the precinct it was nearing 7 am.  
>"Hey look whose back. Glad your okay Liv," Fin said sincerely.<br>"Thanks, me too." She flinched a little bit as she sat down.

Elliot looked at her, looking concerned. "Liv, you sure your okay to be back today? I can take you home to rest up for a while."  
>"No, El. I'm just kind of sore right now. I'm wrapped up and I have pain meds and I'm good to go. I'll be fine. Ready to interrogate Nathan?"<p>

"Yeah, if you are. Let's go." They walked to the interrogation room.

Cragen had already put Phillips in the interrogation room after Elliot called and told him that they were going to be at the precinct that morning.

Huang was there as well. He stopped Olivia and Elliot before they went into the room.

"I think you guys should make it seem like Olivia is more hurt than she is. He seems jealous that she moved on from the place she did. I think he is in love with you from a distance."

"Okay." Olivia put on her best agony face and hunched over and walked slowly into the interrogation room.  
>"Olivia! I'm so happy to see your okay. Oh no, what's wrong?"<br>"She's hurt. Bad. Because of you." Elliot snapped.

Nathan tried getting up to comfort her but Elliot warned him. "Hey, this is a no touching area. Stay there." Nathan sat back down slowly.

"Did you see those bad people that I took down Olivia?"  
>"Which ones?"<p>

"Rapists. I did it for you. You are working here now, and I wanted to help you out. Did I do good?"  
>"Yes. Now, what do you mean took them down?"<p>

"Well the one I saw outside and I had been watching him closely for a couple days. I went behind him into the park. It was late. I went behind him and pushed him into some bushes. I told him I knew what he did. I had my gun pointed at him. He called me crazy and stupid. I'm not either of those things!" He started yelling.

"Then what Nathan?" Olivia looked like she was in a lot of pain.  
>"Oh are you okay Olivia? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you."<p>

"It's okay Nathan." She was actually pissed at him.  
>"What happened after he called you those mean names?" She was talking really calmly to him, knowing it would get him to confess.<p>

"Uhm, I told him to get on his knees. I showed him who was boss. I took a tree branch and started beating him with it. I stuck it in his ass to show him what those girls felt like. Then I told him to close his eyes. He was crying. I almost left him but then I knew he would tell, so I shot him in his head. Olivia, I love you. I did this all for you. I've been watching you. I know you and this detective have been living together. You look really pretty when you smile. You don't do it a lot though."

Olivia was speechless. She was getting that knot in her stomach and felt like she was going to be sick. This guy had been watching her, stalking her.

Elliot could see her expression changing.  
>"Hey, Nathan, what about the second guy?"<p>

"Oh him, I went to his apartment and did the same thing that I did to the first one, except I found his stash of videos, the ones he isn't supposed to have. I told him he shouldn't have them and he called me names, too. So I told him to close his eyes and shot him in the head."

Olivia started asking him questions again, after the initial shock had worn off. "Okay, Nathan, how did you know where the videos were?"

"I watched him for a couple nights and saw him get into them. I wanted to show him I knew what he was. He is a very bad man. Did I do good?"

"Yeah." Elliot said, getting kind of annoyed.

"Nathan we're gonna leave for a minute but we'll be back. She winced as she got up, a real wince. She was still feeling pain when she got up.

"Okay Olivia. Come back soon! I missed you when you were gone all night."  
>They left the interrogation room. Olivia was happy to be away from him.<p>

"Well, is he crazy?"

**&*^%$##$$#^#$**

**Is Nathan crazy? Will his confession stand up in court?**

**I know it is probably unrealistic that she got out of the hospital so quickly. But the police only have 24 hours to make an arrest for a crime once they are taken into the police station. I just don't wanna get any crap for doing that lol.**


	21. Searching for answers

**"Well, is he crazy?"  
><strong>  
>"From the observations I've seen, he isn't crazy. He knows it's wrong what he did but his infatuation for Olivia made him start rationalizing what he was doing. He regressed back to this feeling he has right now of uncertainty and looking for approval, childlike in a way. In my opinion he is competent to stand trial."<p>

Olivia sighed in relief. "Well, one more perv off the streets." Elliot went back into the room to arrest him.

Huang took this as an oppertunity to talk to her. "Olivia, if you ever need to talk about what happened-"  
>"Thanks Huang, but I'm fine." She walked back to her desk and waited for Elliot.<p>

He walked up behind her. "You okay Liv?"  
>She snapped out of her zone she was in. "Fine. Just a bit tired. We need to call Alex and get a warrant for Nathan's apartment and then get her to officially charge him. In the mean time, we can get a jumpstart on yet another giant pile of paperwork," she said sarcastically as she pulled off the top part of her mountain of paperwork.<p>

They had other cases they were working other than the murders. They were pretty far behind again because of Olivia being at the hospital. Most of the cases they had were rapes and abuse of children.

Cragen walked out of his office. "What have we got on the Samantha Jones case?"

Elliot was getting upset at how many cases looked the same. Children getting raped and beaten, children in kiddie porn, women getting raped, women getting beaten, kidnapped and raped. It all tied into a sick and twisted circle that never ended. They were always investigating it.

"Well, lesson one we know no one can handle crimes against children," Olivia said with disgust.  
>"Yeah, and lesson two, get out after two years," Elliot said, looking at Olivia.<p>

Cragen could tell they were taking this case hard, but they had to focus on the task at hand. "Specifically, here guys."

"Samantha was a regular 13 year old girl. She was out riding her bike and some guy came up behind her, grabbed her, threatened to kill her, raped her, beat her, and now she's in a coma," Elliot said angered. He was looking at her picture in her case file.

"The case Elliot. What about the case?," Cragen said, trying to keep the team focused.

Olivia jumped in. "We know that she saw him. She told them before she fell into a coma that he was tall, had glasses, and is kinda heavy. She wasn't able to say anything else before she went into her coma."

"What about MO's?"  
>"We haven't looked at them yet. He left DNA, but he's not in the system. Doctors found pieces of latex on her, so he was wearing gloves," Olivia said.<p>

"Get on the MO's and let me know."

Alex Cabot walked in. "Here's your warrant for Nathan's apartment, and whatever other personal space he has. His locker at work, his car, and any other place that might be considered personal." She handed the warrant to Olivia.

"That was fast."

"Judge Hairman is my uncle. He owed me a favor."

"Thanks. Elliot, you ready?"  
>"Yeah, let's go."<p>

By the time they got to the car, Olivia could tell something was really wrong with Elliot. He hadn't been acting right all morning.

"El, whatever's up, you can tell me. This isn't just about the Samantha Jones case is it?"  
>"Liv, I don't wanna talk about it right now," he said, gripping the steering wheel a bit tighter. She saw this gesture and backed off.<p>

"Okay." She was willing to respect his privacy and give him space since he needed it. But she was really worried about him, and if something didn't change, she would have to pry his business, whether he liked it or not.

They arrived at Olivia's old precinct, once again. They were prepared to search Nathan's locker.

Elliot opened his locker, and found nothing but some old socks, his work shirts, a pair of shoes, and a few pictures, none of which suggested he was following anyone recently.

Olivia was looking to but nothing came up.

Next was Phillips apartment and car. His apartment was a little to put together.  
>"Maybe he has OCD?," Elliot questioned.<br>"No, I didn't see any signs of that when I went out with him. He might just like things to be in order."  
>"Yeah maybe." Elliot wasn't buying it just yet.<p>

They tossed his apartment upside down. They went through everything he owned. Any drawers, closets, even tried looking in his mattress, and they found nothing of interest.

His car was the same story. It was to extremely clean, but nothing was there.  
>"So far we've searched everything we can think of. And nothing. How is that possible?," Olivia asked, getting flustered not finding any evidence.<p>

"Well, Liv, he might have more 'personal space' that we don't know about. Let's look over his financials, ask anyone close to him what spaces he has other than what we've checked."

"Okay, but I don't know if we'll find anything." She was becoming extremely frustrated with this whole thing.

They called every number that he had in his contact book, and not one knew anything about any personal space he had.

Dead end. No one knew anything. This guy was good at keeping secrets. They moved onto the stack of receipts they had found in one of his drawers, all organized alphabetically.

"How did I not notice that he was a different guy than I saw every day?," Olivia asked, thinking out loud.  
>"Liv, it isn't your fault. Some people are just good at hiding things from people. Even the ones closest to them."<p>

"But I've always been good at picking up on something out of the ordinary with people. Especially with people I know well," Olivia clarified.

Elliot stopped on a piece of paper that looked different. "I've got something. Alan's gym on West 21st street. He spent 200 dollars 5 weeks ago for 2 year membership."

"You think he's got a locker?," she asked, knowing there was an obvious answer.

"What person doesn't that goes to a gym regularly?" He looked at her.

"Good point. Let's go." She was ready for this case to be over, and quite frankly, so was he.

**^%$##$%^**

**Well, do they find anything at the gym? What's really bothering Elliot? What happens with Kathy? What about Olivia? And, coming up- the trial of Nathan Phillips. Now we have another case on our hands too. Idk how much I will give details about that in upcoming chapters. And of course, more E/O to come! :) it's been slow the last couple chaps.**

**i got influenced by old eps of svu in the marathon that was on lol. alex's uncle, and the lessons 1 and 2 about svu are from old eps too, and what cragen said about the case. it came on as i was writing this chapter. good timing right? haha.**


	22. What he did

They arrived at the gym. The owner of the gym was at the front desk. "Hello, welcome to Alan's gym. Are you members or new clients?"

"Neither. Detectives Benson and Stabler." They both flashed their badges.  
>"Oh, detectives, what can I do for you today?"<br>"We need to know if Nathan Phillips has a personal locker here," Elliot said.

"Let me check the computer...Yes. It's number 137. Lockers are on the second floor. Do you need me to show you?"  
>"No, we have it from here. Thanks," Olivia said as they ran away from the desk to get up to the lockers.<p>

They found Nathan's locker right away. Elliot opened it after putting gloves on. Olivia was on the outside so she didn't see what was inside.

"Liv, you better take a look at this." As soon as she saw what was inside she felt like throwing up. Layers upon layers of pictures of her, at various locations of her daily life. Some were of her sleeping. Others were of her running her route through the park.

"Oh my god. He was in my apartment. He could have attacked me or killed me. Oh my god." She repeated that numerous times, and for good reason. She was shocked, angry, upset, frustrated, hurt, and disgusted.

The other photos were the two rapists he had killed, along with pictures of other rapists he had planned to kill. Their names and crimes they had committed were on the back of each photo. There was the most of Olivia though.

They searched through the photos to find clothing items, one of which was a pair of Olivia's underwear. That was the final straw for her. She went to the nearest trash can and threw up what little there was in her stomach. Her ribs were still sore and heaving was not helping that.

He ran over behind her and did his best to be there for her. "Liv, it's gonna be okay." He comforted her through her heaving. She was almost crying.

"That bastard has been stalking me for god knows how long. He was near me. He probably touched me while I was asleep. Oh my god." She was having a panic attack.

She sat on a bench. He sat next to her. "Breathe Olivia. Slow, deep breaths." He breathed with her. He couldn't do a damn thing to ease her pain and he knew it. It killed him that he didn't have the power to do anything for her at that point but comfort her. At the least he was going to seriously injur the son of a bitch, again, and if he couldn't restrain himself, he might just kill him for doing this to her.

"We have to get back to the precinct. Now," Elliot said, wanting to be out of there as much as she did.

"Elliot, the evidence."

"Right." He grabbed evidence bags and shoved everything into them that he could. He knew they could separate it out later.

They arrived back at the precinct and were ready to inform Cragen of the new evidence.

"Captain, we found some uhm, pretty disturbing evidence in Nathan's gym locker," Olivia stated, still feeling sick from the images she had seen.

"What did you find?"

"Well, we found pictures. Lots of pictures. Of me, and his other victims along with people he was planning on hurting. And we found some clothing. One item was a pair of my underwear." Her breathing and heart rate increased again just thinking about it.

"Liv, if you need time off-"

"I don't Cap, but right now we need to get all of this straightened out with him. I need to finish what I started. Do you mind if I go with Elliot?"

"You don't interrogate him. Do you understand me? And take Cabot with you. Just so you have her there to make sure it's legit."

"Thanks Cap." Olivia and Elliot told Alex to meet them at Rikers, where Nathan was being held until trial.

Olivia was nervous about what might happen. What would he reveal to Elliot?  
>Alex had no idea what had happened before arriving at Rikers. Olivia filled her in. Alex felt disgusted for Olivia.<p>

She knew she was going to prosecute the case, but now it was a matter of what he was being charged with. 2 counts of first degree murder, enough to get him life without parole, and now she wondered what they could get out of their suspect about his other crimes. They also had enough to put multiple counts of stalking on his charges.

"Nathan! My favorite person in the world!," Elliot said with a sarcastic smile.

"Hi Detective Stabler. Where's Olivia today?"

"She couldn't make it, so it's just you and me. Can you tell me, do you go to the gym alot?," Elliot asked, hoping he wouldn't lose his temper to bad with this guy, even though he truly wanted to kill him for what he had done to Olivia.

"I'm not answering any questions without Olivia. I bet she's out there, watching." He looked at the glass and Olivia felt like he saw right through the two way mirror. Hearing her name come from his mouth gave her chills.

Alex forbid her from going in the room though. It would be inadmiscible in court because of Olivia's close connection to the case.

"Alex, I have to go in there. Elliot's not getting anywhere with him. He wants me in the room."  
>"Olivia, if you go in there and get a confession, I will have one hell of a time getting it allowed in court."<p>

"We already have him on the two murder charges, even if we don't get him on this I want him to admit what he did," Olivia said furiously.

Then they heard Nathan scream. Elliot had pinned him against the wall by his collar.  
>"What the hell is he doing? We have to stop him."<p>

"No, Alex, let him do this." She was just making an excuse. She wanted to see Nathan suffer after putting her through this. She knew though that if it escalated anymore she would be forced to intervene.

Elliot put him down after saying a few choice words to him. "What happened when you went into Olivia's apartment?"

"That's for me to know and you to never find out."  
>Elliot jumped in his face and slammed his fist on the table. "TELL ME YOU SICK SON OF A BITCH!" Olivia knew what was coming next. If Elliot didn't get a straight answer soon, it would turn into an all out brawl in the room.<p>

"Alex, he won't get a confession! Let me in there!"  
>"No," Alex said sternly.<p>

Olivia walked into the room anyways and there was nothing Alex could do to stop it.

Olivia had to push all her feelings of disgust and anger aside to get the job done.  
>"Hello Olivia, glad you could join us. Feeling better? Elliot said that you couldn't make it."<p>

"Well I'm here aren't I? Now I need you to tell me what happened the nights you came into my apartment," Olivia demanded.

"I don't feel that I should tell you," Nathan said, playing games with her mind.  
>"Why the hell not?" She was becoming more pissed off by the second.<p>

"Because. I don't have to."  
>"But you want to. Tell me. What did you do to me? I'm dying to know." She pushed her emotions off of her face and gave her best 'I wanna know' face.<p>

"I do want to tell you. Does he want to hear it too?" He looked at Elliot.  
>"I think Detective Benson has it from here." He got up and left and looking at Olivia giving him the go ahead.<p>

"Okay Nathan, we're alone. So, tell me."

"That first night I came in there was just heavenly. You looked so peaceful."  
>"When did you go in there?" She needed to know, for the case, but she was battling in her body to keep from throwing up again.<p>

"About 2 years ago. God, I wish everyone could have seen you when your asleep. I got in by using the window, the one that's faulty. That first night I watched you sleep."

"Then you came back, just to watch me sleep?," she asked calmly.

"No, then I went back and took a couple pairs of your underwear." This was all to easy to say for him. "I took pictures to remember you like that."

Then she thought that maybe he was just messing with her. Or that the first interrogation he was acting crazy. This was the real crazy.

"Then I came back about once a week for a while. Then it turned into almost every night."

"Come on Nathan, that can't be all. What else?," she coaxed.

"Well, touching you was out of the question. You would have jumped up at the first hint of touching. I would watch and touch your things, and your bed." His face lit up at the fond memories, while she was thinking about how much she had to clean when she got home. What he probably did in her bedroom. The thoughts were making her ill.

Finally a bit of peace from this. He didn't touch her. "That's it?," she asked.

"Olivia, would I lie to you?"

"I don't know, would you?," she asked, playing the same mind games he was.

"I've omitted some things, that you will never know. You have what you need to get me life in prison. Work with what you've got." She got up and started walking out. "And Olivia, you will always be thinking about me, until I'm dead, just like your mother has someone in her head."

She looked at him, her eyes widened. She got out of there. He was right though. She would always be thinking about him. What he did, what he didn't do to her, what he may have done without her knowing. She got chills again as she left the room.

**&*&^%$#$%#$**

**that last line that nathan gives her is the same ones richard white gave in one of the episodes. thought it was a nice touch. So what happens next? how does she handle it? what does huang have to say about his behavior? what happens with kathy? what happens what happens what happens! haha. thanks to whoever's reading. :)**


	23. Worked up

Elliot caught her as she was basically running out of the area where Nathan was. "Liv, it's okay. He's just messing with your head."

Alex couldn't be mad, she just got a confession from him for stalking numerous people. "Nathan here avoided telling us what we needed for the death penalty. But, life in prison without parole has a nice ring to it."

"Yeah. Can we just leave?" Olivia was beyond ready to leave.

"Yeah, Liv. I'll call Cap. We'll have to do some paperwork on our cases. Other than that, we have nothing else."

In the car Elliot could tell she was ancy and uncomfortable.  
>"Olivia, are you gonna talk to me?"<br>"About what?"

"What's going on with you. You're so anxious right now. I understand why, but anything you wanna talk to me about?"

"Not in particular, no."

"Okay." He knew she would open up when she was ready, and he would be there when she did.

She couldn't hold it in. "He was in my apartment. God only knows what he did to me, regardless of what he said he didn't do. HE was in my room. He was in my personal space. He went through my most personal areas." She had her hand over her face with her arm on the window.

"Olivia, it's gonna be okay. I don't know what else to say."

"It's fine. I don't even know what to say anymore," she said as they drove.

They arrived back at the precinct, eager to get done what needed to be done so they could go home.

"Benson. My office," Cragen called out.

"Well this can't be good." She got up from her desk and went into his office.

"Close the door, please." She shut it. "It's my understanding that you guys got a confession from Phillips after my direct orders for you not to go into the room."

"Yes Captain but-"

"No excuses. You defied my direct orders, and now the confession might not even hold up, especially the stunts you and Stabler pulled. The violence. Yeah I know about it. We do still have enough for the murder charges."

"I'm sorry Captain, but Elliot was getting nowhere with the confessions, and I needed to hear for myself what had happened in my apartment."

"Olivia, I am sorry for what you've been through and what your still going through. If you need time off, I understand. After a bit of paperwork you should take off the rest of the night."

"Is that an order Cap?," she asked.

"It will be if you don't take time off tonight on your own."

"Me and El are gonna finish up some paperwork and we were gonna head home. Okay?"

"Yeah that's fine. You can take off tomorrow if you want too. I can have Munch and Fin take some of your caseload. You need this time. Take it."

"I will. Is that all?"

"Yes."

"Thanks." She left his office.

It was about 4 in the afternoon at this point, and Olivia had told Elliot what Cragen said.

"Thank god. I'm ready to leave after everything today. I can't even imagine how you feel," Elliot said.

"Drained, annoyed, frustrated, pissed off, bitchy, violated, if that gives you any insight at all," she told him with a pissed off tone. "Cragen also said that I should take tomorrow off. He will give the rest of you some of my case load."

"I understand why he would give you that time off. You've had an extreme first week. Emphasis on extreme," Elliot said, wishing he could hug her or comfort her in some way.

"Yeah, I know."

They finished up a few pages of their paperwork, and were thankful to be leaving.

"Want something to eat?"  
>"I'm sure we can find something to eat at the apartment Stabler. We still have a bunch of food there," she told him.<p>

When they got back to the apartment, they started searching for something that sounded good.  
>"Frozen pizza?" Elliot showed her.<br>"Sounds awesome."

She sat on the couch and watched him as he threw in the pizza. He came over to the couch and let out a huge sigh. They cuddled up.

"I know you didn't want to talk, but I think we should. We're alone, and we haven't talked at all day, besides about work," Elliot told her.

"El, I...I feel bad that your wrapped up in all of this."

"Your wrapped up with my life and crazy ex wife, I'm wrapped up with your crazy stalker and your life. Fair trade to me." He smiled and she chuckled. "I haven't seen that smile of yours all day."

"Yeah because I haven't had a reason to smile. You always do make my day better though. I love you." She leaned up to kiss him.  
>"I love you too Liv."<p>

"Oh and just so you know, I am cleaning and bleaching that room tonight before we lay down. I am switching out the sheets and comforter and pillows. I refuse to stay in that room until I know it's been sanitized. Tomorrow I plan on getting new locks for all the windows and doors. Sounds like fun don't it?" She smiled.

"Tons. But I would rather know that you're safe when you're here alone. I know you can defend yourself, but there's too many creeps out there," he told her.

"Yeah, I know. And besides, with your crazy ex on the loose, it would make me feel a lot better," Olivia laughed.

"Good point." He laughed, too, understanding where she was coming from.

The timer started beeping, meaning their pizza was done. "I'll get it," Elliot proclaimed.  
>"Not arguing." He turned around and smirked, and she knew he was up to something.<p>

"And for the madame, pepperoni pizza. Careful, it's hot."  
>"Thanks El. I'm well aware of what the oven does." She just laughed.<p>

"Hey, I'm just warning you." She bit into it knowing it would be hot, but not realizing it would be spicy hot.  
>"Holy shit Elliot! What did you do to my pizza?"<p>

"Just spiced it up with some cajun. Hope you don't mind," he said sarcastically, knowing she would mind.

"Yeah I do mind. But I'll still eat it. I'm to hungry not to."

"April fools," he said.  
>She felt like a dumbass for forgetting that it was April Fools day already.<br>"Stabler 4, Benson 2." She was going to get him back. She just didn't know what she was going to do yet.

They had finished eating pizza, Olivia proving she could eat spicy food. She picked up the plates and put them in the kitchen. She now knew what she wanted to do to get him back. She smiled just thinking about it, and he might hate her for the rest of the night. Or longer.

She went over to the couch and sat with him, cuddled up like before. He had turned on the tv and started watching sports. Olivia didn't mind, she was focused on other things. She looked at him, and waited for him to look at her.

"Why are you staring at me," he asked curiously.

"To do this." She started kissing him madly, like she had never kissed him before. She started unbuttoning his shirt and moved on top of him. He pushed her away.

"Liv, what are you-" He was cut off by her kissing him. He didn't argue anymore. His thoughts had blurred and were only about her. She started moving on his lap, causing his breathing to increase and involuntary groans. Her plan was working.

"Oh my god Liv, you need to stop otherwise I won't be able to."

"So what?," she said, looking in his eyes seductively.

He looked at her, almost wide eyed she would say that right now. He kissed her with vigor, passion and intent. She started kissing down his chest. Then waited til he started moaning and groaning again. He was removing her shirt and grabbed her sides to keep her firmly where she was.

"El, I need to tell you something."  
>"What?," he said, not caring at this point what it was.<p>

"April fools."  
>He stopped kissing her, then looked at her, completely speechless.<p>

"I hate you right now."  
>"You love me," she said smiling.<br>"I know that's why i hate you right now."  
>"Benson 3, Stabler 4."<p>

She had gotten quite worked up herself just doing that little bit with him. She didn't know if she wanted to stop, but she had to get him back somehow.

"Well, if you help me clean the room, we still have all night."

He jumped off the couch so fast he surprised her. He knew she wanted the room clean because of obvious reasons. He was willing to do anything at that point to get her where he wanted her.

***&^%$##$#%**

**Olivia, that wasn't nice! lol. He did get her first tho. the idea of april fools came up after i wrote him getting off the couch to get the pizza. then it turned into what it did. what you have been waiting for im sure...the bedroom next ;)**


	24. No turning back

**I am not good at writing smut. just warning everyone now. lol. and it is my first story. i will try to write some out but if its no good, sorry!**

***&^%$#%^&**

They cleaned and bleached the room to the best of their abilities. Olivia felt much better about all of it being over. They were both shirtless still from when they were on the couch.

Now they had a freshly made bed.

Elliot laid her gently down on the bed and climbed on top of her. They never broke their kiss.

He was going to make this the most romantic night he could and make it last as long as possible. He wanted to make it about her.

"Liv, are you sure you want to?" She just kissed him as her answer. He remembered about her ribs. He had to be careful because she was still sore. It had only been a day and a half since the injury.

"Liv, are you okay? I mean your ribs?"  
>"Yeah, fine. I need you El." She kissed him passionately.<p>

With that he continued.

He kissed her neck and worked his way down. He was going to kiss every part of her body possible. He sucked right below her collarbone until he left a mark.

He reached behind her and unsnapped her bra. He was staring at their perfection.

He kissed and sucked on her left breast.

"Oh, El." She was in oblivion. She went for his pants and worked his belt buckle loose. He continued his assault on her breasts. She was moaning and he was very affected by it.

She pushed his pants down. He shimmied them off. She looked at his body. Everything about him was perfect. She had her hands wrapped around him with her nails in his back. They were both moaning.

He continued to kiss his way down her stomach. He got to the top of her pants. "Now these, these are causing a problem."

She smiled. "Well, whose going to take care of that problem?" He unbuttoned her jeans. She lifted her ass so he could pull them off.

They were both down to their underwear. His hands and mouth were roaming her body. He got to her belly button. He kissed his way down, and she was wet with anticipation.  
>"Your perfect Liv, you know that?" She breathed and moaned heavily.<p>

"I love you." He said quickly as he ripped her underwear away. She realized this was almost like the dream she had. She was turned on right now just thinking about what the night had in store.

He was kissing her legs now. Inner thighs over and over. He was so close to her center.  
>"El, please..." She was throbbing with anticipation. She just needed him to touch her.<p>

"Liv, I can't make it that simple." He grinned at how mad he was making her. "Bastard."

He started sucking on her inner thighs. Then moved away again. She groaned in frustration. His hands were still roaming her body. He put his fingers on her dripping center. Her breathing was increasing again, just from that little bit of touching he did.

"My god Liv," he said, seeing the wetness that had pooled there.  
>She spread her legs further, hoping he would take the hint. He did. He slid his fingers up and down her slit. He pushed one finger in. "OH my God EL!," she screamed it.<p>

"Your so tight Liv." He was getting turned on just from touching her and hearing her reactions. He twisted his finger then gently coaxed in a second.

Instantly he felt her involuntarily squeeze around his fingers. She started moving with the movement of his fingers. He moved them around within her and within seconds she felt her orgasm building. "El, tha.." She could barely speak.

He was going to make her scream his name over and over again. He was moving his fingers slow and torturous.  
>"El, faster!" He just took his fingers completely out. "Are you..trying to..kill me?," she said through heavy breathing.<p>

She looked at him and he had that shit-eating grin on his face. "Either you like what I'm doing or you don't." She realized how close his face was to her center.

"El, please!" She tried to push her center towards him. He slightly backed away.

"Anything Elliot! Baby, I love you! I need you!" She was saying anything she could just to get him to touch her. She knew he was doing it on purpose for what she had done to him earlier.

"I love you too." He stuck his fingers back in and her head fell back. "Are you going to complain anymore?"

"No, no I promise." He moved his fingers at an agonizingly slow pace. He slowly built up her orgasm. He could feel when she was about to go and he would move as slow as possible and let it die down then build her back up. She was moaning and groaning every time his fingers would push inside.

"PLEASE EL! I'll do anything!"

"I'll be holding you to that."

She needed a release. After a half hour of torturing her he sped up his fingers and started sucking her clit.

"ELLIOT! OH!, EL!," she squealed. Her eyes were sealed shut as her intense orgasm took over. She grabbed and twisted the sheets. Her head was thrashing. Every muscle in her body tensed up as she rode it out. He licked everything she gave him. He stopped for a slight second. She was calmed down now.

She thought he was finished so she started barely moving and talking. "El that was...Oh fuck Elliot!" He manipulated her with his tongue and mouth this time. He started working her back up to a second glorious release.

She couldn't move. He kept going until she had a second orgasm. "Shit El! Oh my god!" Her heart rate was so increased she could barely talk anymore. "Are...you...happy?"

"Yeah I'm great now." He was grinning at her. He laid up next to her until she started moving. He knew she needed a break, but she was going quicker then he thought she would.

She knew what her plan was now.

She gave him the same treatment that he had given her. Kissed him all over until she reached his underwear.  
>"Liv, oh my god." His breathing was ragged. He was moaning every time she moved closer to his dick.<br>She pulled down his boxer briefs. He kicked them off quickly. She looked at him.

"Ya know, El, it's not very nice to tease someone." She flicked the tip of his rod. He bucked his hips in response.  
>"Liv! Oh fuck!" He wasn't going to beg, but he also knew he deserved it.<p>

"What El?," she asked innocently.

"You know what."

She moved closer but didn't quite touch. "No I don't." She figured he played stupid, so she would too.

He couldn't take it anymore. He got up quickly and flipped her over on her back.  
>"El, that's not nice," she said as he kissed her. She was struggling to get up.<p>

"Are you trying to get up?" He smirked. "Cause if you are i could just lay here." He grabbed her arms and trapped them with one hand. He was to strong for her and she knew it.

"Why would I try to get up? You only cut my turn short." She smiled, still pissed that she was trapped.

He was at her breasts again. He started rubbing and flicking at her already hard nipples. "Fuck, El." He traced his finger from his neck, down over her ribs. She started laughing because she was ticklish.

"Someone's ticklish." He smiled and did it lightly over and over again on her stomach and right underneath her breasts. She kept laughing. "El! Elliot! Please...stop!"  
>"Who says I have to stop?"<p>

She was belly laughing and she couldn't move with her arms trapped. She was kicking and fighting as much as she could. He finally stopped, knowing he could use it to his advantage some other time.  
>"That killed the mood," she told him sarcastically.<p>

"Turned me on."

He let her arms go. He kissed her passionately. He aligned with her entrance and slowly pushed his way in.  
>"Shit, El," she said half moaning.<p>

"Liv you feel amazing." He kissed her as he slowly pushed his way in, watching for any sign of pain on her face.  
>She winced a bit.<p>

"Are you okay?"  
>"More pleasure then pain. Fuck." She kissed him again, wrapping her hands around her head. He went as far as she was willing to go, but not if it meant pain for her. Once she got over the initial pain it quickly turned into pleasure.<p>

"Fuck El, faster." He sped up his pace. He pounded into her core, his own release quickly building. Olivia's orgasm hit her out of nowhere.  
>"Holy shit El!" She said a string of obscenities as she tried her best to hold off for him.<p>

"Don't fight Liv."

"Together El! Want..together." She could barely talk.

"No, Liv, don't wait." He reached in between their bodies and found her clit. That was her undoing.  
>"FUCK!" She clamped around him so tightly it triggered his release. He gave a few more hits and collapsed onto the bed next to her.<p>

"Bastard, that was..unfair," she said, her breathing still labored. "I will get...you back for that, and the teasing."

"Stabler 5, Benson 3. I love you Liv."  
>"I love you El."<p>

They kissed passionately, knowing they couldn't turn back now.

They both fell asleep before long.

**$%^^%$%$**

**First smut scene that ive ever written lol. i tried to do romantic but humorous. i almost went another way with it. but i figured you all have waited long enough for it. ;) thanks for reading and i would greatly appreciate reviews! :) **


	25. In her head

**A/N  
>I am going to use the "Undercover" scenes at Sealview as her sexual assault... makes it easier and everyone knows what it is. if you don't well go watch the episode! lol great ep. so flashbacks are going to consist of bits and pieces of that. in italics.<br>**  
><strong>$%^&amp;*(*&amp;^%$#<strong>

_"No, get off me! Heellllppp! Heeelllllppp!" He started unzipping his pants. She was handcuffed against the door. He forced her head towards his protruding member. "No, no!..."_

"Liv," Elliot whispered. It was 3 in the morning. "Liv," Elliot said again, this time a bit louder and shaking her arm.  
>"Olivia!" She finally jumped awake, almost crying in a cold sweat.<p>

"Are you okay? You were yelling and punching in your sleep. You kept saying no, get off me." He was worried that he had triggered her nightmares again.

"Oh god. I'm sorry El. I didn't mean to wake you," she said as she relived what she had just dreamt.

"You don't ever have to be sorry for that." He kissed her cheek and wrapped his arms around her. She calmed down and just stared out the window.

He always knew how to make her feel safe. Her nightmares were returning though. This made her worried. What happened if during sex she had to tell him no because of a flashback?

She knew the only way to solve it was go back to therapy and try to resolve whatever is making her do this again. She couldn't live like this. She also knew that the nightmares might not ever go away.

She had to tell herself what every other victim needed to know, which was that you can't get rid of the attack out of memory, but you could live with it. She needed to learn how to live with it.

Olivia laid awake until 5 30 when the alarm went off. Elliot groaned. "Why can't I stay home today too?," he said in a slur.

"Because you don't have someone stalking your hot ass." She laughed.  
>"This is true. Alright I'm moving, I swear." He laid there with her for another minute.<p>

"You're moving in really slow motion today, aren't you? Come on El, you gotta get up." She tried pushing him off of her, but it was no use. He was a blob.

He sighed heavily, knowing he had to get up.  
>"Fine." He rolled out of the bed, heading to the bathroom. "Do I have to shower by myself?"<p>

"Hmm. I don't know. Do you?" She smirked at him, but in the back of her mind knew she couldn't go in there with him. She was still shaken up from the flashback. He could see her face and knew she didn't want to.

"Some other time Liv." He walked over to her. "Don't ever feel like you have to do anything you don't want to. Okay?" He looked at her, seeing shame and guilt in her face.

"I love you Liv." He leant down and kissed her.  
>"I love you too. Go, take your shower. Your gonna be late." She kissed him again.<p>

He went to take a shower as she sat on the bed, contemplating whether or not to get up for the day. She decided since she had a day off she might try sleeping in a bit. '_At least til 8' _she thought. She laid back down. She closed her eyes and tried breathing deeply to get back to sleep. It worked.

_"Please don't, please don't!" She screamed as he threw her on the bed. "Get off me! Heeeellllpppp!"_  
><em>"You like it rough?," he said as he threw her against the wall and started grinding into her. She felt him get hard.<em>  
><em>"HEEELLLLLPPPP!" He threw her on the bed again, getting on top of her.<em>

"Olivia!" Elliot shook her out of it again. She was crying.  
>"El, he was...there." He sat down next to her as she was sobbing. He held her and calmed her down.<br>"Are you sure your gonna be okay today Liv? I can call Cragen and tell him I can't get in today."

"And tell him what? Hey my girlfriend who is my partner is a baby and needs someone holding her hand?," she said angrily.

"Olivia, don't talk like that. Your so strong. Your right though. I can't tell Cragen I'm here or gonna be with you. He will catch on. If anyone finds out we're together we could lose our jobs. Your having a hard time with it, it's normal."

She just sat there, silent. He hugged her and held her. It was now 6 40. He was late for work, but he wasn't going to just leave her there alone.

"Elliot, you have to go. I'll be fine," she told him, trying to coax him to leave her alone.  
>"Liv, I am not going to leave you here."<p>

"I'm fine now, I promise. I'll call you if something happens," she said to him, trying to sound convincing.

He knew she was lying. She never relies on anyone because she was hard headed and didn't want anyone taking the burden she had.

"No you won't Liv. You forget I do know when your lying. I'm a cop." He grinned.  
>He started talking to her, using a serious tone. "But I want you to know, I'm here for you, no matter what. I love you." He kissed her head.<p>

She knew he meant it, knew he wasn't going to run to someone else when her problems became to much for him to handle. He was there, right now, holding her and comforting her through one of the toughest times in her life.

He was reluctant to leave, but knew she also wanted him to. When he left she just sat on the bed. She decided she should get up because if she went to sleep she might have another panic attack.

She went to the kitchen to get coffee, already made thanks to Elliot. She stepped up to the counter then felt like someone was there with her. She whipped around to see nobody. She shook it off as it being in her head. She turned back around to finish getting her coffee.

She heard his voice and froze. "Hi Olivia. Long time no see."

**#$%^&*&^%$#$%**

**This chapter I really wanted to establish and bring up Olivia's PTSD.**

**Anyways, who is it in the apartment? I don't know who it is yet either lol.**


	26. Haunted

**She froze when she heard his voice. "Hi Olivia. Long time no see."**

She turned around. It was him. Harris. The man who had taken everything from her. The man she was still afraid of. The man who haunted her nightmares no matter what she did to try to forget it. She couldn't speak, so he did it for her.

"Olivia, how ya doin? Did you miss me? I missed you. I bet you think about me." He started moving towards her. She couldn't move. She was in total shock.

Move goddammit. Do something.

He quickly threw her on the ground and straddled her. She wasn't going to let this happen without a fight. She started screaming. "NO!" She started writhing and trying to throw him off balance, but it was no use. He had her down and was stronger than she was. He grabbed his handcuffs and restrained her hands. He started lifting up her shirt. She only had a t-shirt and flannel pants on.

"STOP! NO!," she started crying.

"Shutup!" He slapped her hard across the face. It didn't stop her screaming though.

"NO! NO! DON'T!"

"This wasn't my plan either, Olivia. You see, your sweet Elliot wouldn't leave you alone though." He started taking her pants down painfully slow.

She had a knot in her stomach already, but thnking about what he might have done to Elliot killed her.

"What did you do to him!," she screamed at him

"What do you think I did to him?" He started unbuckling his belt. She continued screaming.

"NO! GET OFF OF ME! HEEELLLPP!"

He was tired of the screaming so he pulled out his gun and pointed it in her face. "Shutup," he said to her calmly. She had no choice but to be quiet. He would shoot her and kill her. If he had killed Elliot she had no reason to live anymore.

He put his fingers on her center. "No!" She said sobbing. She started writhing and trying to throw him off of her again.

"No, please don't!" She didn't scream this because he still had the gun pointed to her head...

She woke up. She was on the kitchen floor. She must have fainted, but she had no idea why.

'It was all a dream, well nightmare.' She thought. She started talking to herself trying to rationalize what had just happened.  
>"If that was...then Harris isn't here?" She was still terrified he might be. Her nightmares were getting worse and more frequent again. It was 8 in the morning. "I got coffee at around 6 50. I was out for an hour?" <em>He almost raped me. I've gotta go to the therapist today. <em>

She got into the shower and couldn't even close her eyes in the shower because that's all she saw was his face. She was seeing him in every shadow. She had never been like this before, not even right after the attack.

She kept taking deep breaths and trying to keep her heart rate normal. It was impossible. She was jumpy and tense.

She got out of the shower and finished getting ready. She then started getting anxious about talking to the therapist.

"God damn, quit getting yourself worked up. Just go in there and talk like you would to anyone else, except this somebody writes things down and says how crazy you are," she announced out loud.

She left the apartment at 9 am. Her therapist was Dr. Anne Pylen. She had no connection to Olivia other than being recommended after her attack, which was good because Olivia didn't like talking to coworkers or someone she knew.

Olivia tried calming herself down all the way to the therapists' office. As soon as she walked in it was like everything was in slow motion.

"Olivia Benson, I don't have an appointment but I was hoping you could get me in today," she told the receptionist coyly.

"Uh, hi Miss Benson. We do have an opening at 10 15 if you wanna wait."

"Yes that's perfect. Thanks." She took a seat in the corner and read the heading of a magazine.  
><em><br>Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie adopting 3 kids out of Africa._

'Those people are nuts,' she thought.

She flipped through the trash magazine until 10 15.

"Olivia Benson? Good to see you again." Dr. Pylen smiled at her.

Olivia gave a reactive smile, but she wasn't happy.

"So Olivia, it's been about 6 months since your last visit. What brings you here today?" She started pulling out her book to write things down.

"Uhm well, I have a new job, with the Special Victims Unit. I've been there a bit over a week now. Time is moving really slowly for me lately."

"Why do you think that is?"

_Do I tell her? I guess that's why she's here._

"To be honest...I...my new partner and I are...together. We are completely foolish for doing it so fast but something's there." She started smiling thinking about him.

"That's great Olivia. So everything's going well then?," the doctor asked basically leading Olivia into other areas of conversation, knowing there was more to the story.

Olivia looked down at her lap. She had her hands together and she was fidgeting.

"Olivia, whatever it is, you can tell me. Nobody else can see what I write and nobody can know about what you tell me," she coaxed her.

"Well, where do I start? I mean, I started SVU a week ago, me and Elliot are sort of together and...we had...sex last night," Olivia said shyly.

"And that's a problem for you? Aren't you happy you found a guy?"

"Yes! I'm ecstatic. I don't regret last night one bit. It's just, the last couple days I've been having nightmares about Sealview..." She flinched at the memory.

"Okay. It sounds like this connection you and Elliot have is great. It seems to have brought up your PTSD again, and that is completely normal."

"Yeah, maybe. But this morning I was in my kitchen getting coffee and I fainted. Is that normal too?"

"No. The fainting could have been brought on by low blood sugar or a change in the body. You may want to get that checked out if it happens again, because it could be a sign of something more serious going on in your body."

Olivia hesitated as she spoke again. "There was something else that happened this morning besides when I fainted, which I didn't even know I had done until I woke up. But, I had a nightmare that he was in my apartment and he...he trapped me. He was going to rape me." She teared up a little bit thinking about it.

"Olivia, it is normal for PTSD to resurface at any major milestone in your life. You've got a new job, and a new boyfriend. That's huge for anyone. It's helping you more than you know. You need to figure out why Lowell Harris has the hold on you that he does. He has a hold on your mind, your life. You need to live your life otherwise he's won. You can't live in fear of him. It's going to take time, but I believe that if you keep doing what your doing, these nightmares will go away."

"And if they don't?," Olivia asked fearfully.

"Then there's other reasons why your still having nightmares. What about your mother? Have you thought about her lately?"

"No. She doesn't have anything to do with this." Olivia narrowed her eyes at the doctor.

"What if she does? She was a victim like you were. You yourself a victim. You are now helping victims for a living."

"What should I do?" Olivia was considering doing what she needed to do to get rid of the nightmares.

Dr. Pylen knew Olivia wouldn't like the advice, but that's what she was there for. "Forgive her. Then you can truly let her go."

"How can I forgive her! You've heard about the years of hell I went through because of her!" Olivia was mad she even suggested that.

"Olivia, it's the only way to truly get closure."

"And?"

"And what?"

"What if the nightmares stay?" Then she thought about it. Nathan stalking her. "Dr. Pylen, is it possible that PTSD is surfacing because of a case?"

"What type of case?" The doctor was curious now.

"Stalking. Somebody getting stalked without even knowing it."

"Well, yes. If you were close to this case."

"I was the victim. Nathan Philips. He stalked me for 2 years and I didn't know it until I saw the pictures a few days ago. He's in custody, but the nightmares resurfaced more after the case."

"It is completely possible Olivia. You were closely connected since you were the victim and the PTSD is disguised from that incident as the incident at Sealview."

Olivia wasn't sure to be relieved or more scared.  
>"I'm sorry Olivia. It's been an hour."<p>

"Oh, wow. I'm so sorry. I know my life is messed up." Olivia attempted a smile.

"Nobody's perfect. Feel free to call and schedule another appointment. I look forward to seeing you soon."

"Yeah, me too." She got up to leave the office.

She left, feeling different than when she walked in.

**&^%$##$%^**

**Olivia's PTSD is wreaking havoc on her. I had to try to get her help lol. We have so much more yet in this story. I am going to do a time jump soon so the story picks up a bit. thanks for reading :)**


	27. Mercy

After the therapist visit, Olivia's next stop was new locks and keys for her apartment.

"58.23," the cashier said. Olivia handed her 60.

The rest of Olivia's day off consisted of putting new locks on her windows and doors. Elliot called her around 1.

"Hey, Liv. How you doin?," he asked, knowing she would answer good regardless if she was doing good or not.

"Fine. I just got the new locks for the doors and windows." She omitted that she had gone to the therapist and refused at that moment to tell him about her nightmare.

"Good, well I'll be there in a couple hours to check on you. I'll get off at around 3 or so. It's a slow day." He couldn't say he'd be home in the middle of the precinct, it would be to obvious.

"Okay. See you in a bit." She was nervous for him to come home, just because she didn't want to have to tell him anything.

She finished getting the locks on the apartment as Elliot was walking in.

"Liv I'm home!," he yelled.

"I'm in the bedroom putting locks on the window!," she yelled across the apartment. She decided she wasn't going to tell him anything regardless.

He went through the apartment to find her trying to reach the highest lock. He chuckled because she was straining to reach it. He walked over to her.  
>"Liv, let me get it." He grabbed the lock and with ease put it into place.<p>

"As tall as I am I wish I was taller." She looked at him while she sighed heavily.

"You're tall enough, but that's why you have me." He grinned and looked her. He kissed her while standing there. He wrapped his arms around her waist, putting his hands on her ass.

"Uh uh Stabler. Let's keep this PG." She smiled as she kissed him.

"Why? It's no fun." He smiled, but as he said that he respected her wishes as he raised his hands above to the small of her back.  
>"Much better." She gave him one last kiss and broke it.<p>

"Why are you stopping?"

"Because somebody's gotta figure out dinner." She smiled. "There's always after dinner." She continued her sly smile.

"Oh come on Liv, you can't do that to me!" Elliot was frustrated with that. He couldn't wait til after dinner, he was ready now. He followed her out to the kitchen.

"What do you want El?," she asked quizzically. Then she realized she hadn't eaten all day.

"Can't we order out?," he asked hopefully.  
>"No," she answered defiantly.<br>"And why not?," he retorted.

"Because we've gotten take out 3 times in the last week. Not helping my thighs." She smirked while pointing to her thighs.

"Well I happen to like your thighs." He came up behind her and pinched a part of her tone thighs right below her ass. She jumped and gave a slight squeak at the pinching. "Doesn't feel like their affected to me."

"El, they are gigantic! You just don't notice like I do. And it's only been a week." She smiled, then turned around quickly to find a pressure point on his neck.

"Oww! He quickly started succumbing to the pressure point and she moved to his shoulder to get him to the ground.

"Do you want mercy?"  
>"No." He moved his hands to her calfs to give her horsebites. She wasn't standing for long after that.<p>

"Ouch!" He didn't let up his grip on her. Then a thought came to mind. One hand left her calf and moved to one of her hands. Then when she grabbed at his hand he trapped both of them using both of his hands.  
>"What the hell are you doing?" She was confused.<p>

Trapping both of her hands with one of his own, he moved his hand down her body. He started touching her in common ticklish spots. She jerked and chuckled every time he touched her.

"Elliot what are you doing?," she asked, trying not to make it obvious that she knew but was afraid to state the obvious.

"Who wants mercy now?" He smirked and then started tickling her relentlessly.

Her laughing started causing cramping in her stomach. "EL-LIOT!" She could barely talk through her laughing.

"What? What's wrong Liv?" He continued tickling her. He moved to her neck and that really caused her to thrash her body, unknowingly hitting his groin. He grunted every time.

"EL! PLEEASSEE ST-STOP!" He moved his hand to her feet, causing another reaction of thrashing.

"What was that! I don't know what your talking about!" He laughed as she laughed. He paused for a second so she could breathe.

"Elliot, I'm sorry I-AH!" He tickled and pinched her inner thighs.  
>She gave in, she couldn't take it anymore. "EL! MER-CY! MERCY!" He stopped.<br>"Well that's all you had to say." He grinned.

"Yeah, but I didn't want to." She then noticed he was hard. She raised her eyebrow. She knew what she was going to do to pay him back, he didn't. Her breathing returned to normal. It was to easy for her to get payback on him. She knew his number one weakness and he wasn't very good at hiding it.  
>"Please get off me now?" She looked into his beautiful blue eyes looking as innocent as possible.<p>

He sighed. "Okay," he said bummed. As soon as he pushed off of her she was pushing him over and on top of him.

She wasn't stronger than him but she knew one thing that always weakened him. She grabbed his member through his pants and barely stroked once.

"Oh my god. Liv! What are you...doing?" He grunted as she slid her hand up and down.

"Paying you back." She grinned menacingly.

"That wasn't all you...know? I'll get you...back." He started breathing faster.

She quickly started stroking then slowed down again, then stopped.

"Liv, don't...don't do it," he warned.

"What was that? I can't hear you." She mocked him as he did to her earlier. She knew he wouldn't stop her.

He tried to reach down and pull her hand away but he couldn't stop her. She unzipped his pants and pulled his cock out. Then she touched the tip once. He couldn't talk. "Liv, you better stop," he warned again.

She then made a bold choice and licked the length once with just the edge of her tongue. "Or what?" She touched the tip with her tongue, causing his hips to buck involuntarily.

"Oh my god... Liv." He couldn't help it now. He was going to let this happen.

She figured she was done torturing him, so she then got up and walked over to the counter.

"Liv! You can't just stop!," he said, very frustrated.

"Why not? Now what was that you wanted for dinner?" She turned around chuckling and continued her search for a decent dinner.

***&^%$#%^&***

**I let this chapter kind of flow. I figured next chapter I would pick back up with drama. I am trying to have fun with this story as well as drama/romance. hope you like! :) thanks to anyone reading/reviewing! greatly appreciated!**


	28. Confessions

_Italics _**is Olivia thinking to herself.**

**%^&^%$#$%^&**

Elliot and Olivia had proceeded to the couch after making soup and grilled cheese for dinner.

Elliot noticed she wasn't acting like herself, even before the mercy game. He could tell something wasn't right. She was staring at the TV with a zoned look, almost like a zombie. He knew he had to push her to tell him.

"Liv.." She didn't budge.  
>"Liv, are you okay?" He reached to touch her and she blinked while she was snapped out of her daze.<br>"What?" She looked at him puzzled.

"I asked if you were okay."  
>"Yeah, great. Why?"<p>

"You haven't been acting right. I mean after I got home you wouldn't let me touch you. You did, but you were jumpy. Was it the nightmare before I left this morning?"

She was going to tell him about the episode she had after he left, she just didn't know how.

"Yeah. That's what it was." She attempted a grin, but he could tell she was still not being truthful. He also didn't want an argument to ensue if he got to pushy.

"You realize you were just in a daze for at least 5 minutes. It was like you were asleep with your eyes open."

_Yeah cause every time I close them I see him._

He grabbed her hand. "Liv, I need you to know that no matter what it is, I'm not going to judge you or yell or run away. I am here. Sitting here, with you, because I love you."

She hesitated for a few seconds. "I love you too El." That's not why she hesitated. The pain of telling him that she wasn't strong enough to do this on her own was killing her.

"Liv...tell me," he almost whispered.

She was tearing up. "How can I tell you when I can't even comprehend what happened?"

"Comprehend what?"

"This morning..." She looked down because she felt ashamed and didn't want to look him in the eyes. "This morning, after you left...I had another nightmare." _That's the first part, barely scratching the surface.  
><em>  
>She pushed her hair behind her ear as a nervous habit. He looked at her, knowing how painful this was for her.<p>

"Okay, is that all?" He was okay with that answer but knew she had more to say.

"It wasn't right. I was in the kitchen not even asleep. I was getting coffee..." _That's the_ s_econd part, barely. Tell him. He loves you no matter what. _

"I was in the kitchen getting coffee. I fainted, which I didn't even realize I had til I woke up." _Your actually saying this. He must think your nuts. _"While I was out, I had a nightmare..."

_Almost done._

Tears started streaming down her face.  
><em><br>How is he even looking at me? I must look horrible and weak._

"Uhm...the nightmare...Harris..." She could hardly get the words out. This was worse than talking to the therapist.  
><em>Take control of your life. Harris doesn't control you anymore. Olivia, do it. Tell him.<em>

"Harris...was in the apartment. He almost...raped me. I woke up before that." She was still so thankful she woke up before that.

"Liv, you don't have to go through this alone. I am here every step of the way." He reached up and wiped the tears from her eyes. "No matter what. I have your back," he said reassuringly.

"I know you do." She scoffed and rolled her eyes. "I feel...so weak."

"You just showed me how strong you are by telling me. I don't ever wanna hear you say that." He looked at her seriously, almost angry she would say she was weak. "You are the most beautiful person in the world. I've never met anyone like you, and I love you because of that."

She looked at him, then looked down again.

"There's one other thing El."

She wasn't going to tell him but thought he deserved to know, about the therapist visit.

"I went to the therapist today. I haven't been there in 6 months. I am trying to work my way through what happened and trying to take control of my life but that's easier said than done. She said that the nightmares are a sign that something is going wrong in my life, or that I'm still hanging on to something." She paused.

"I'm hanging on to a lot of things. She wants me to...forgive my mom for what she did to me." She started tearing up again. "How do I forgive my mom for what she did? Dr. Pylen said I have to figure it out on my own because everyone deals with things differently and heals differently."

"The challenge the doctor gave you was to find the strength to forgive your mom and move on with your life," Elliot summed up.

She chuckled a bit at his answer. "Are you sure you weren't meant to be a psychologist?"

"I'm pretty sure I wasn't meant to be one, but maybe my ass should go back to school."

"I would love to see you doing homework every night," she told him sarcastically. He always knew what to say, and it never ceased to amaze her.

Elliot got a cocky look on his face, realizing she seemed better than she did a few minutes before. "Liv, so earlier, when you did what you did to me, it wasn't fair." He kissed her. She kissed him back, willing to go where they had gone the night before. She felt so much better knowing she wasn't going through this alone.

His phone rang. "Dammit." He reached into his pants pocket and pulled out his cell.

"Stabler. Kathy? Why the hell are you- oh really? Is that all? You want to do what? Okay. We'll see how that goes. Bye bye now," he said sarcastically as he shut the phone quickly before Kathy could piss him off more.

Before Olivia could ask what it was about he was calling Casey Novak.

"Hi, Casey? Elliot Stabler. My ex-wife just called me. She has officially gone cuckoo."

***&^%$#$%^&*&**

**So, what did Kathy tell Elliot on the phone? What happens at Nathan's trial? What happens with Olivia's PTSD? Does she take the doctor's advice? So many questions left to answer! and I am sure there will more questions created as the story progesses too. lol.**


	29. Samantha's story

Elliot finished up his conversation with Casey. Then Olivia asked him what it was about.  
>"You are never going to believe this. Kathy says that she's pregnant and it's mine. She said she's keeping it."<p>

Olivia was silent with that dazed look on her face again. She tried asking him a question but found difficulty forming the words. "Uhm...It's not-"

Elliot cut her off, seeing the shock in her face. "It's not mine, and I know it's not, unless she's really good at hiding a baby bump," Elliot said sarcastically, incinuating within that sentence that it had been months since him and Kathy had sex.

"How do you know El? Some women are really good at hiding things, and she may not have even known. Women don't usually show until more than a few months into their pregnancy," Olivia told him, knowing it was possible Elliot could have a kid.

He came into the reality of the whole situation, now terrified. "Oh my god. What the hell...I mean...how?" Elliot now looked shocked and confused.

"You're really gonna make me tell you how a baby is created El?," she asked him, eyebrow raised.

He just looked at her, cocky grin and all, playing into her question. "Yes Olivia, enlighten me. How is a baby created?"

"Well, when two people love each other..." she smiled at him. "And they really care about each other..." after she said that he pounced on her.

"When two people really love each other they do this alot." He kissed her passionately, caressing her body. She stopped him after a minute, reality setting in for her as well.

"El, what if it is yours?," she asked, wanting to know.  
>"We'll do our best to make the best of the situation," he told her, hoping it was the right answer.<p>

"What if I can't make the best of it?," she answered doubtedly. He sat up off of her.

"What do you mean Liv?" He was confused and scared by what she meant.

"If it's yours, that means you're a father, and if we're still together, then that means I'm going to be a mom of some sort." She was talking and she thought she sounded crazy.

Elliot knew what she was getting at. "You would be a great mother Liv."

"How do you know? I was raised by a drunk." It was true, and she doubted her slightest ability to be a mom.

"I know because you're one of the most caring people I've ever known. You work in Special Victims for a reason. You deal with kids, I've seen you deal with kids. You may have been raised by a drunk but you are not her." She was looking down as he talked to her. He reached over and raised her chin so she was facing him.

"You, Olivia Benson, are not your mother." He wanted the words to sink into her mind, making sure she knew it was the truth.

She sat there, silently, tearing up, turning her head away from him quickly to wipe away the moisture on her face. "Dammit El, why do you always make me do that?," she laughed.

"Not on purpose, but your even more beautiful when you do it." He stared at her.

She looked at him, confused. "How on earth is it that I am more beautiful when I cry like a baby?"

"Crying isn't only for babies. And you just are."  
>They stared at each other silently saying what they needed to.<p>

Her phone rang, breaking the silence between them.

"Benson. Yeah. Okay, we'll be there. Bye. Well that concludes my day off. Samantha came out of her coma. She is awake and talking. Cragen wants us both there. He said we make a good team."

"He's right about that." He kissed her.

"Oh wait that means we have to move now don't we?" She groaned as she got off of the couch to get changed.

He heard her groan when she moved, and had to shake the thoughts out of his head. He saw her changing and that just fueled his need. He whistled like a cartoon. She turned around, only to see him sneak into the other room to get his clothes. "Ya know El it's not nice to stare!"

"It looks great staring at you, though!," he said. Now what could he do? He was stuck going to work with her in his mind almost naked. Needless to say that night at work he would be distracted.

They arrived to the hospital at around 6. They saw Samantha in her hospital bed, with her parents there. Elliot stopped. The hardest thing for him was the kids.  
>"El, you okay?"<p>

"Yeah, let's go."

They walked into the room. Olivia started talking to the mom quietly so Samantha couldn't hear them.

"Mrs. Jones? We're Detectives Benson and Stabler. I'm sorry for what you both have endured. We're here to talk to Samantha about what happened. Could you step out of the room?"

"Why?" She looked at them with fear and anger.

"Because she won't be able to tell us everything if you are in the room. She won't talk openly. Elliot, do you wanna take Mrs. Peters to the cafeteria?"

"Is that okay with you Mrs. Jones?" He looked at her, hoping it was.

She took a moment to think. "I guess. I want this bastard dead." There's nothing else she could do for her daughter anyways than to let Elliot and Olivia do their jobs and catch the predator who did this.

"Samantha? I'm gonna go with the detective and I'll be right back okay? I love you." She kissed her daughter's head.  
>"I love you too." Her voice was weak and hoarse.<p>

Elliot and Mrs. Jones left the hospital room.

The mother was in tears, for good reason. Her daughter was in a coma for 2 days, and she found out her daughter was raped and beaten, and there was nothing they could do about it. Now she's gotta deal with her daughter telling her story again.

Olivia walked over to the bed and sat in the chair. "Hi Samantha. I'm Olivia. I'm a police officer." She showed the girl her badge.

Olivia was starting out slow with her, asking her typical questions that a kid could answer. Nothing about the rape came up right away.

"So do you like to play with your friends?"

"Yes. I have lots of friends. We play cops and robbers alot."  
>Olivia smiled. "Do you want to be a cop or a robber someday?"<p>

"Cop, because then I can catch the robbers." Samantha gave a tiny smile.

"Good answer. What about school? Do you like school?"

"Yes."

"What's your favorite subject?"

"Art. I like to draw."

"I can tell." Olivia saw the pictures around the room that the little girl had drawn. "You draw really well. What else do you like to do? Do you ride your bike or scooter around your neighborhood?"

"Yeah. I do, I like the wind in my hair. I ride it down to the park sometimes." Samantha smiled.

"When was the last time you rode your bike or scooter?"

Samantha paused. "2 days ago. When the man took me." Her smile turned to a frown instantly as the memory returned.

"Samantha, I need you to tell me about the man who did this to you. What color was his skin?"

"Like ours."

"Was he really tall like my friend Elliot or was he shorter like your mom?"

"He...was tall."

"What about his hair? Can you tell me what color his hair was?"

"It was darker, like yours."

"Your doing great Samantha. What about his eyes? Do you remember what color his eyes were?"

She went silent for a moment. "No. I don't remember. I'm sorry." She started crying.  
>Olivia consoled her by touching her arm. "Samantha you have nothing to be sorry for. It's okay that you don't remember, you're doing great."<p>

"Do you remember a car you were in or buildings you saw?"

"The car...was white. He put something over my mouth though and I got sleepy."  
><em><br>The bastard used chloroform. _Olivia was still writing details down.

"What about when you woke up? Were you in a room?"  
>"Yeah. It was dark though." She cried again.<p>

"Samantha, sweetie, anything you can tell me is going to help us catch the guy who did this to you."

"He...touched me. He made me...touch him. Then he used the sleepy stuff again and then I woke up today."

"Okay. Samantha, we're all done for right now. You did great. You're so strong and brave for telling me everything. I'm gonna go get your mom okay?"

Olivia didn't know how much longer she could have taken that little girl telling her what that bastard did to her.

She stepped out of the room to call Elliot.

**)(%$#$%$#$#$%#$**

**What happens at the trial of Nathan Phillips? With Kathy? With Samantha? With Elliot and Olivia?**


	30. Kathy goes cuckoo

Elliot and Olivia arrived at the precinct by 8pm.

Dr. Huang was in the precinct.

"Since we got Samantha to give us a description, we can run it through the database. He's caucasian, about my height which is 6'2 or so, dark brown or black hair, and he used chloroform to drug her. She didn't know his eye color, and we don't know an age. The rape kit shows spermicide, meaning he used a condom."

Dr. Huang intently listened. "I would gauge this guy's age from early to late 30's. He used a condom so he has sperm, meaning he doesn't have a sexual malfunction of any sort. He must get angry at little girls for some reason. Maybe he's angry because children may have a quote on quote perfect life compared to him, or have a childhood he never had. She just started puberty, so maybe something happened in his childhood around that age that triggered his anger."

"If he was angry at children, why wouldn't he rape boys and girls then?"

"He isn't interested in boys because he isn't angry at them."

"That sort of makes sense doc. Thanks," Elliot told him.

In the meantime Olivia was running the MO through the database.  
>"I've got something. Says there is a similar case in 3 other burroughs of New York. At least it's not outside the state this time." She sighed in relief.<p>

He looked at her. "See but then we could have had some alone time together." He said it loud enough so that she heard it but nobody else did.

She got shivers down her spine. That would be nice. A week and a half ago they weren't in a relationship. It seemed like she was at SVU so much longer than that. Reality was setting in so fast all of a sudden. She leaned back from the computer and just thought to herself.

_Within 2 weeks I have started a relationship with my partner, had sex with him within a day of the relationship, found out I was stalked for 2 years, my PTSD returned, Elliot might be a dad. I might be a mom. What the fuck is up with that? I have a fucked up life..._

"Liv?"  
>She broke eye contact with the floor to look at Elliot. "What?"<p>

"You okay? Your lookin like you're gonna be sick."  
>"I'm fine."<p>

"I'll take that answer as 'I'm really not okay.' But we'll discuss it later." He almost whispered it so people wouldn't catch onto anything. The last thing they needed is people talking about them.

"Okay."

Elliot's phone rang. "Stabler. Hey Casey. She's what? Oh my god. I'll be there." He hung up the phone and started getting his coat. "Kathy's having some sort of crazy episode at the house."

"I'll go-"  
>"No Liv, it's probably best you stay here." He started running out, not wanting Olivia in the middle of this anymore than she already was.<p>

She was shocked. He had never gone anywhere without her before. Something wasn't right.

"How did you find out?," Olivia asked  
>"Kathy had Langan with her and then Langan called Casey who called me. I'll be back in a bit and tell you how it goes." He left.<p>

She sat there in shock before she realized she had a load and a half of paperwork. It was probably for the best she wasn't with him anyways.

2 hours later he returned to the precinct with that 'I'm gonna kill somebody' look.

"El-"  
>"We'll talk later. Not here."<p>

They stayed silent until they went home with no solid leads on the Samantha Peters case.

"Elliot, you said we would talk, so talk. What the hell happened?"

"Kathy. Need I say more?"

"Actually yes. What did she do?"

"She was throwing a rage and threatened to commit suicide if I didn't come back to her. I said I would, so she dropped the shard of glass she had on her wrist and I grabbed her. When she realized I wasn't serious...she lunged at me with a large piece of glass and tried to stab me with it. Little did everyone know she had started a fire in the upstairs bedroom and it quickly spread. I didn't have much in there at all. The house is still in my name though. It was going to be approved tomorrow for the house not to be in my name anymore. Half the house is burnt down."

Olivia just looked at him, speechless, and in shock. "What does that mean? Is she in a psych ward now? Is the restraining order thrown out?"

"Yes. And the divorce is final as of next Monday. It's Wednesday. Monday can't come quick enough. Oh, and since she started the fire on purpose insurance isn't going to cover it. She gets to pay for some, I only have to pay for a few things."

"That's some good news." Olivia wanted to know if she was actually pregnant, but figured Elliot had enough for one night, and he would mention it if he wanted to.

"What do you say we go to bed Stabler?"

"Sounds great right now."

"I love you Liv."  
>"I love you too El."<p>

They kissed and cuddled. They were both asleep within minutes after their heads hit the pillows.

***&^%$#$%^&**

**So this chap is shorter than alot of the others but i had to end on that cliffhanger: is she pregnant? what about samantha? will they catch the perp? will nathan's trial reveal anything? i have soooo much to resolve in this story yet lol. i began it all, so i have to conclude it all. :) thanks to whoever's reading and reviewing!**


	31. Accept it

5:30 am came all too quickly the next morning.

They both groaned and stretched out a bit as he leaned over to pound the 'Off' button on the alarm clock.

"Morning." He attempted to kiss her, she strayed away.  
>"Ew El, I have morning breath. Let me brush my teeth then you can kiss me all you want," she said tiredly.<p>

"Yeah, I don't care if you have morning breath. But if that's what you want..." He got out of bed to go start coffee. She smelled it and got out of bed.

"Do you need a shower?," he asked, hoping she would say yes.

"No. I took one.." she paused, turning to him, knowing now what he was getting at. "Your a big horndog you know that?"

"Never said I wasn't. You just now caught onto it." He gave her a cocky grin.

She laughed a bit. "Only you can make me laugh at 5 30 in the morning."

"You're the only person that makes me wanna laugh at 5 30 in the morning." He walked over to her and put his hands around her waist so his face was in the crook of her neck.

"I wanna go back to bed. Coffee isn't helping me much today." They swayed back and forth together.

"Every person awake right now wants to go back to bed Liv. Some good advice, we sleep enough when we're dead."

"That is the cheesiest line I've ever heard, but it's kind of true." She chuckled at the line.

Then she decided maybe she did need a shower. "Still up for that shower?"

He looked at her with his eyebrows furrowed and somewhat of a smile. "You serious?"

"Yeah, we both need it. But it has to be quick, Stabler. No time for games." She grinned.

"Whatever works." He picked her up and took her into the bathroom. They helped each other get undressed. He started teasing her as soon as they were fully undressed.

"God El." He inserted two fingers into her quickly. He was very large and had to prepare her for his size. She grabbed his member and started stroking.  
>"Shit Liv." He continued his ministrations and put his thumb on her clit.<p>

He worked her over quickly, watching every facial expression she made.  
>"Oh my god! El!" He removed his fingers quickly to replace it with his hard member. He picked her up and put her around his waist. He plunged into her quickly.<p>

She winced at the initial intrusion, but pain quickly went away. She wanted him. She needed him deeper within her. "Fuck. Faster!" He obeyed the command and sped up his movements. He kissed her as she fell over the edge. She was gripping his back with her nails and leaving scratch marks.

They could barely stand afterwards.

They continued kissing as they got out of the shower.

"Gotta...get...ready." She groaned but she wasn't even trying to push him off. She was still leaning into him. She didn't wanna stop. For the first time in a while she was feeling normal, and extremely horny.

"Holy shit. We have to get ready," he said seeing it was already past 6 30. She regretted her movements as she pushed herself away from him.

When Olivia and Elliot were ready to leave, she looked at him. When he looked at her she kissed him.  
>They finally left the apartment to go to another long day of work.<p>

"And where have you two been?," Cragen scolded.

"Sorry, I got caught up in personal business," Elliot quickly answered. "Is there anything new on the Samantha Peters case?"

"That's great to know. And, no. I'm gonna have you and Liv go talk to her again and see if you can get more out of her."

"Captain, I don't know if we can get anything more. I talked to her and she doesn't remember much because he drugged her."

"Well, ask her more about him. Has she seen him around before or anything like that. Ask both parents too. We had the sketch artist composit a sketch for her and it looks like him from what Samantha remembers. We just need to know if there is any connection to the family."

"Okay. We'll keep you updated. Let's go Liv."

Olivia didn't want to put that little girl through any more pain, but she knew it had to be done.  
>"Elliot, how do you handle the cases with kids?"<p>

"I don't, I do what I can, catch the bastard that hurt them, and try to move on." He gave her the most honest response there was. It was true. There was no real way to handle the case and be okay while doing it.  
>"If you ever get used to dealing with kids, there's a problem."<p>

Olivia absorbed the answer, realizing what he meant. "So the motivation is always going to be catching the dysfunctional bastards that hurt these kids. Good enough for me." Olivia felt the resentment and anger building up for Samantha against her rapist.

She couldn't even imagine going through what Samantha was going through. Sure Olivia had been sexually assaulted, but she wasn't raped, and she certainly wasn't beaten to the point of being in a coma. She wasn't drugged or a young child. The only thing she could do for Samantha was catch the man who did it and give her justice. She had to keep reminding herself of that.

Elliot could tell by her look she was still taking this case hard. He wasn't okay with it either but in a way you have to become accustomed to it. He wasn't used to it, but he expected cases with children to come up. It's part of the job description, something that has to be accepted with the job. Olivia wasn't quite there yet.

**#$%^&*^%$#**

**I figured I could end it there because then I don't have to write a bunch about the hospital visit again and I could just jump into the topic, like Kathy lol. I've gotta start speeding this story up, I just don't know how. thanks to whoever's reading/ reviewing :)**


	32. Small talk

**The inspiration behind where Samantha's parents know the guy from is from the Elizabeth Smart case quite a few years ago...You'll notice it right at the beginning if you know the case. lol I sped up the story a bit so now its to the Nathan Phillips case. Well close to it.**

**#$%^&^%$#**

Samantha didn't tell them anything new pertinent to the case. However, her parents recognized the man that did it as a guy they had at their house. He worked on their house as a contractor.

Cragen met them at their desks. "We have his picture out on the news. You two need to go discuss the Nathan Phillips case with Cabot. She's charged him and arraignment is in the morning. I'm keeping Munch and Fin on the phones. Go."

Elliot and Olivia couldn't be mad because it meant they avoided the phone frenzy.

"Alex, Cap says you wanted to talk to me and El about the Nathan Phillips case," Olivia said as they walked into her office.

"Yes. I need to go over what happened in the confession exactly. The judge is not going to appreciate Olivia getting the confession."

"Alex I was there. You were there. Liv got a perfectly legal confession. We read him his Miranda rights again just to be sure. Never once did he ask for a lawyer."

"You went against Cragen's direct orders. And you're personally connected to the case. It makes the confession biased."

"Alex the confession she got was legit. He layed the case out for us on a platter. Should be open and shut. He spoke about everything. He admitted to stalking Olivia and the others we have. Your bringing them in for the trial if it gets that far, right?"

"Yes. One step at a time though Stabler. I will do the best I can with what I've got. It's going to come down to the confession though."

Olivia was regretting ever getting the confession. If Elliot had gotten it there wouldn't be a problem. They left her office.

"Dammit. I should have just listened to Cragen and stayed out of the interrogation."

"We wouldn't have had a confession if you didn't go in there Liv. You and I both know I wasn't getting anywhere with him. He wanted you to hear his confession."

"But now the case might get thrown out because of me."  
>He turned to her. "Listen to me Liv, it's not your fault. You've done so much in 2 weeks, more so than what other people get done in 2 months."<p>

"But-"  
>"No buts. You're doing fine, it's not your fault, and no matter what happens I'm here for you."<p>

She didn't know what to say. He had that affect on her. He made sure no one was looking and kissed her. They headed back to work.

"Hey guys, we have a lead on the guy who may have raped Samantha. Here's his wrap sheet." Cragen handed Olivia and Elliot a copy of a wrap sheet for a guy named James Sanders. They were gone as soon as Cragen was done handing out orders.

"Ready to catch the son of a bitch?"  
>"No, El. Not at all." She grinned out of sarcasm.<p>

It was an hour outside of their precinct.

Elliot made small talk with Olivia, realizing they hadn't really talked about the therapist visit.  
>"Liv, have you thought about the doctor's advice?"<p>

"Where did that come from?" She raised her eyebrows at him.

"Well we haven't really talked anymore about it, and to be honest, I'm worried about you. I just don't want to be the reason for everything happening."

"El, it's not your fault. It's my brains way of dealing with change. I don't know if it will ever go away." She dodged the actual question. Elliot caught onto it.

"Liv, I'm a cop, I know when someone's ducking a question."

_Dammit. I thought it was a pretty damn good answer myself, but here goes nothing._

"El, I'm worried. I don't know if forgiving my mom is the answer." That was as honest as she was going to get.

"Liv, maybe you should just try it. I think you need to find the strength to forgive her."

Now she was getting defensive. "I'll forgive my mom when you forgive yours."

Elliot had never thought about forgiving his mom for all the shit she had put him through.  
>"Liv, I'm Catholic. Forgiveness is key in the religion."<p>

"Have you forgiven her though?," she asked, knowing he hadn't.

"No, now that you mention it. I'll go to her house when I'm not working. She lives in Jersey. Wanna come?"  
>He was serious.<p>

"El you're not joking."

"Nope does it look like I'm joking?," he asked, then grinned.  
>Olivia was in shock. She was falling more in love with him every day.<p>

"Uhm, sure why not?" She thought she would return the favor of asking him. "Wanna come with me to my mom's grave?," she chuckled, then felt the weight of the situation.

He saw her expression change. "Liv, I don't want you to feel like you can't open up if I'm there. I wanna support you so I will go, but just say if you don't want me there."

"I want you there." She grabbed his hand.

"Okay. As long as you want me there, I'll be there."

They arrived at James Sanders apartment.

"This place isn't a dump," Elliot said sarcastically.  
>"It's like a dream come true," Olivia added. They shared a smile.<p>

"3B, this is it," Elliot said. He pounded on the door until they heard footsteps. "James Sanders, NYPD open up."

They heard nothing, then it sounded like something fell.  
>"He's running!," Olivia yelled.<p>

"I'll go out back! You get the car!"  
>"Got it!" They took off after him.<p>

After a 4 block chase they finally caught him. "Jason Sanders, you are under arrest..." Elliot said breathless as he read him his Miranda rights.

They had an hour to take him back to the precinct. They were thankful he wasn't talkative like Nathan was.

"Captain, we got him, we're about 10 minutes away," Elliot told Cragen.

"Enjoy our hospitalities Mr. Sanders," Elliot said as they threw him in the cage.

"Yeah, yeah yeah," Jason didn't say anything about the crimes.

Olivia and Elliot did some paperwork and went home after Cragen told them to. It was 8 pm.

Elliot could tell she was tired but decided to have some fun with her. As soon as they got in the apartment he kissed her.

"Slow down there cowboy. Can we get changed at least or eat?"  
>He kissed her again. "No point if I'm ripping them off anyways, and I think you sound pretty good for dinner." He grinned as he kissed her.<p>

"I feel like I'm having deja vu. I told you this morning you're a horndog."

He just chuckled as he kissed her while carrying her to the bedroom.

**&^%$#$%^&**

**Next chap I'm jumping right into the trial. thanks to whoever is reading/reviewing :) **


	33. Arraignment

**trial of Nathan Phillips begins now.**

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"The people request remand your honor," Alex Cabot stated.

"The people don't have sufficient evidence to support that," Nathan Phillips attorney, Brian Langan countered.

"Your honor we found numerous pictures of victims the defendant has stalked and was planning to stalk. He stalked an NYPD detective without her knowledge and stalked and killed 2 convicted rapists. The pictures indicate that he was going to kill again."

Olivia and Elliot were in the court room. Her stomach was turning hoping he would be remanded.

"He isn't a flight risk and quite frankly these are just outrageous accusations. The detective who got the confession was the one being stalked. My client's confession should be inadmiscible."

"Detective Olivia Benson is one of the best cops in her department and she questioned the defendant as if it were any other case. She didn't lead the confession in any way."

"If I may your honor, Detective Benson has only been in the department 2 weeks. And my client claims that a detective got physical with him on more than one occasion."

"I believe Mr. Langan here is referring to when the defendant was arrested. The police have every right to strike if they are fighting arrest. And your client was running from Detectives. He also assaulted Detective Benson."

"Actually I was referring to the confession. Detective Stabler threw my client against the wall."

Alex was becoming rather frustrated with the tactics of the defense. "Detective Benson went in to diffuse the situation and got a confession. He told her what he did and what he was planning to do."

Judge Elizabeth Donnelly determined her ruling. "I'm going to have to agree that the pictures are incriminating in themselves and it proves motive. Whether you believe it or not Mr. Langan your client is a significant flight risk. However, Ms. Cabot, I don't like hearing that Mr. Phillips was beaten while in custody by a cop. This is your one and only warning. Will the defendant please rise?" Nathan stood up with not one look of remorse on his face.  
>"You are hereby remanded until trial. Court is adjourned." She slammed her gavel to officiate the ruling.<p>

Olivia, Elliot, and Alex all sighed a sigh of relief after the ruling was handed out. They all headed out of the courtroom together, as they were all headed back to the precinct to interrogate Jason Sanders.

"Great job Alex," Olivia said. "I wasn't sure if Donnelly would give us that one."

"Quite frankly, I wasn't so sure either after hearing about Elliot's violence." Alex scoffed and crossed her arms with a look of sarcasm.

"Hey, that ass was trying to get under my skin and it worked. I can't believe you admitted it to Donnelly though," Elliot said, a bit shocked.

"You forget my job description. I have to report anything done by the cops. I didn't report it though. The flood gates were opened when Langan brought it up. I couldn't deny it. I had to find a way to dodge it, so I didn't confirm or deny it. Judge Donnelly knew what Langan was trying to do, and it didn't work. No matter how you cut it, she had to give us that one. That man is a cold blooded stalker and killer." As Alex said that, Brian Langan walked up to them.

"Ah what a pleasure running into you," Langan said sarcastically. "Nathan Phillips is a victim of the law and a victim of his own mind. Enjoy," He said as he handed her a stack of paper.

"Not guilty by reason of mental disease or defect. We already had a psychiatrist talk to him. Did you not get the transcript saying he is not crazy?," Alex said with a hint of annoyance.

"Your doctor didn't test him for what he needed to be tested for. See you in chambers."

"That's just great. We all know, including Langan that this guy isn't crazy. I'll see you guys back at the precinct." She headed off to Judge Donnelly's chambers.

"El, what if that defense is enough to get reasonable doubt?"

"It's not going to be. He told you to your face exactly what he did. Nothing is going to convince that jury he's crazy."

"Except Langan. You saw him in court today. All he needs is reasonable doubt from the jury and Phillips goes to a nuthouse instead of prison. Then he could get out if he's there." Her breathing started to increase. That's the last thing she needed.

They were in the car now.

"Liv, don't get to far ahead of yourself. We haven't even started the trial yet."

He was right. The trial was a ways away. For right now they didn't have to worry about him.

"Hey guys. James Sanders is in interrogation room 1. Munch and Fin just started with him. I need you two to fill out your DD5's and 61's on your other cases. IAB and 1PP has been up my ass since things went down with Elliot at Phillips' confession. They need the paperwork filed."

Elliot did feel bad that Cragen was taking the heat for his temper. "Cap, I-"

"Save it. Just get it done." He walked back to his office. Cragen really didn't care.

Stabler always felt like shit when Cragen took heat for his mistakes. Even though he was Catholic, his temper was always something he was working on.

**$(*&^%$$%**

**Chap is shorter than usual. But I didn't wanna go thru another interrogation. You've seen how they work together, which established the point I wanted to make. I tried making the arraignment realistic, if theres something you guys think I should change, don't hesitate to tell me!**

**Thanks for reading/reviewing! :)**


	34. Forgiveness

**Thanks for the reviews! :) this chapter has another day off. i know, unrealistic for them to get another one, but i needed an excuse for the whole mother thing to come about.**

**This chapter is a lot longer than usual because I figured it flowed together easily enough to make it one chapter.**

***&^%$^&*&^%$**

By the time Olivia and Elliot got home it was close to midnight, but they got their paperwork finished. They were both restless. Cragen had ordered they take the next day off.

"Oh we have ice cream! Perfect!" Olivia exclaimed as she grabbed moose tracks from the freezer. She knew that she would have to run extra within the next few days to get back on track. Her excuse was she had a stressful day.

She grabbed two spoons and went over to the couch to cuddle next to Elliot. He turned on the TV to see that  
>the movie <em>Ghostbusters <em>was on.

"Classic," Elliot said.

A few minutes later Olivia jumped up. "Ah! Brainfreeze!" Olivia said with a look of pain on her face. She stuck her thumb on the roof of her mouth to try to ease the cold.

"I think that's a sign that we've had enough tonight," Elliot got up to put it back in the freezer, only to find that they had eaten the rest of what was left. "So much for saving it," he stated sarcastically while throwing it away.

"My thighs were hungry!," Olivia stated apologetically.

"No big deal." He grinned.

"You wanna come with me running tomorrow?," she asked, wondering if after the last time they went if he would want to.

"I don't know, I'm a little rusty. Then again I might be able to catch you with those thighs of yours slowing you down," he grinned menacingly at her.

She quickly swatted his arm. "Oh whatever! We'll see about that!"

"Let's go to bed." He reached for her hand and she gladly took it.

As much as Elliot enjoyed making love to her, he also loved just cuddling with her and making her feel safe.

Olivia couldn't complain. She had the hottest guy for miles around that loved her and truly cared about her. His large strong arms wrapped around her lovingly as they fell asleep.

Olivia slept soundly through the night.

They didn't have their alarm set and ended up sleeping til 8. Sleeping in was a savored time for SVU detectives.

Elliot climbed out of bed. "What do you want for breakfast?"  
>"You don't have to make breakfast El."<br>"I don't have to, but I want to." He kissed her cheek, knowing she might have been self conscious about morning breath again. He chuckled thinking about it.

Olivia smelled coffee and nearly jumped out of bed. Any day they didn't have to drink Munch's sludge was a good day.

She saw Elliot getting out food to make breakfast.  
>"What do you want Liv? There's pancake mix, I can make french toast, biscuits and gravy, eggs, and of course bacon...?" He paused and looked at her to see her smiling. "What?"<p>

"I won't say what I'm thinking because then you won't cook for me." She bit her bottom lip.  
>"Okay." He grinned at her, catching on to what she meant without saying it. "What do you want?"<p>

"I think french toast and eggs with bacon. Don't forget we're goin for a run in a little while." She smiled at the thought. She was being mischevious when she reminded him just to see his reaction.

He sighed and tried to lift his own spirit. "How could I forget? I love running!," he proclaimed as he threw his arms up. She couldn't wait to take him down. He deserved it. She needed to tie the score.

"Liv, I was thinking...It's been weighing on my mind since we talked, and...feel free to say no, but I was wondering if you wanted to go see my mom today," he asked hesitantlty.

She looked up from the paper she was reading, not knowing what to say. He was still turned around cooking.  
>"If you want to do that today we can." She really was shocked that he wanted to do that today.<p>

They had only talked about it a few days ago and she had a lot of thinking and reviewing of her life to try to take the steps to forgive her mom. She just wanted to know how he was ready to do this so fast. He told her that first night about his past.

He had heard the hesitance in her voice. "Liv, you don't have to if you don't want to."  
>"No...I want to. I was just wondering why so soon."<p>

"I feel like it's something I have to do. I'm ready to do it." He really was, and his other motive was to get Olivia willing to consider forgiving her mom. He wanted to help ease her nightmares and she needed every advantage she could get in getting them out of her mind.

"Okay."  
>Elliot sat down with the 3 plates of food and plates for themselves. One had eggs, another with french toast, and bacon.<p>

They had stuffed themselves with food. "Thanks El, it was great. It's gonna take me forever to run off all the calories, though," she said as she cleaned up the table. It's the least she could do because he was always doing the cooking.

"I was thinking that we could just go to your mom's place now, too. Then we can run later tonight or something, because it's a longer drive than normal."

"3 hours Liv. Sounds fun, I know." Elliot was quite relieved he was being spared the pain of running right that instant. He was so stuffed he could barely move, and he knew that she was a better runner no matter what she did.

"We better get moving. It's 9 30." She finished up the dishes and went to get in the shower. Elliot finally moved to finish getting ready as well. He figured he'd mess with her later.

They were finally both ready at 11 am and left shortly after making sure everything was locked up properly.  
>"I'll drive Stabler," she proclaimed while grabbing the keys.<p>

"You don't know the way though."

"You can tell me. I know New York. I'm a big girl." She slinked towards him and started speaking seductively.  
>She came just close enough to where they were almost kissing. "It's gonna be Jersey that gets me confused," she smiled. He really didn't like others driving, but it was Olivia, so he couldn't say no. And she was getting him worked up.<p>

He kissed her. "Okay, but don't blame me if we get lost."

"Oh is that a threat Stabler?" They continued kissing. She knew they wouldn't get lost, unless he wanted them to.

"We better...leave before...we...end up staying...here all day." He didn't want to stop, so she stopped for him.  
>She backed away. "I didn't literally mean stop Liv."<br>"You made a valid point though. Let's go." She was smiling at him.

"You're a little tease."

"Just giving you something to think about for the ride."

"I'm always thinking about you though."

"I said it once and I'll say it again...horndog." She looked at him with a smirk.

They got through New York without a problem. Elliot was still worked up from the apartment. Elliot screeched to whatever song was on, whether he knew it or not. Olivia couldn't stop laughing.

"Liv, you're gonna need to take a left then a quick right."

They arrived at his mom's house on the beach. Now he was nervous and she saw his hesitance. They hadn't even gotten out of the car yet.

"El, are you okay? We don't have to do this right now if you don't want to." She grabbed for his hand, but he pulled it away. She took the hint. He needed space. He was feeling all the hate bubble back up. Not towards Olivia, but towards his mom.

"No, I have to do it." He tightened his hands into fists. He hadn't seen his mom since him and Kathy first got together a few years back. He didn't invite her to the wedding and didn't see her otherwise. Olivia was willing to wait in the car all day with him if that's what it took.

Elliot's breathing was increased. His eyes were fixed on the dashboard for a while and he stayed like that for a few minutes.

"Let's go," he said as he got out of the car. She was just following him. She was nervous, too. For him, and because she was about to meet his mom.

He knocked 3 times.  
>An older woman answered the door. "Hi mom," he said calmly.<br>"Elliot! I haven't seen you in a while! And who is this lovely young woman? Bernadette." She held out her hand for Olivia.  
>"Hi." Olivia smiled.<br>"Mom this is Olivia, she's my work partner." He wasn't going to come out with 'Hi mom, me and Kathy got divorced. Olivia started SVU 2 weeks ago and since then we've gotten into a relationshipl,' although he seriously considered it.

"She's a lovely young woman Elliot. Oh where are my manners? Come in guys."

Once they were inside she started rambling. "Where's Kathy? Oh I can get you guys some lemonade. I'll be back." She was walking off and continued talking. "Elliot I can't believe...Kathy..." There were only bits and pieces of what she said because she was further away from Elliot and Olivia then she thought.

"Here you go." She grabbed a glass of lemonade and started drinking it. "You still haven't answered my question. Where's Kathy?"

"Kathy and I...got divorced. We-" His mom interrupted him.  
>"Oh! Kathy was such a lovely person though. I mean she-"<br>"Mom."  
>"-And she-"<p>

"Mom!" He raised his voice. She stopped talking.  
>"Elliot, what's wrong?"<br>"Mom, I didn't come here to talk about that. I came here to talk about all the things that happened when I was working."

"Elliot, why would you want to bring all those things up?" Olivia was just sitting there with him. All she could do was wait and watch.

"Because mom. Remember when you chased the snowflakes into a telephone pole?"  
>"But the snowflakes were so pretty-"<br>"And when you shot at me and dad."

"Your father threatened to take you away from me. I couldn't let him do that!"  
>"And what about you staying in your room for a month at a time and not coming out?" He looked at her, showing the emotions of that little boy again.<br>"Your dad made me mad! Why are you yelling at me?"

"I'm not yelling at you." His voice was raised with annoyance but he wasn't yelling at her.  
>"Elliot, why are you saying all of these things! Your embarrasing me in front of your partner."<p>

Olivia just sat there. "Mom, listen. I didn't come here to yell at you. I came here to tell you that no matter what you did when I was a child, and no matter what you've done to me, I..." He couldn't say it. There was no way Olivia could comfort him or coax him into doing it. He had to do this on his own.

"Mom, you need help. Doctors said that you're bipolar. Are you on medication?" Elliot wanted to make sure that his mom was being taken care of before he said what he needed to.

"No. What do doctors know? I'm just different."  
>"No mom. I need to make sure that you're not gonna do something that can hurt you or others."<br>"What's that have to do with anything?"

"Mom, I don't care what you do as long as your safe. Medicine can help you be safe."  
>"No! Elliot. They forced me to take it at the hospital and it made me feel tired and sad all the time!"<p>

"Mom, I can't say what I need to say until I know you're doing what you need to do."  
>"Elliot, I like being free. If I take medicine it makes my life boring." She started crying.<p>

"Okay, mom. I'm done trying. I came here to tell you I forgive you. For everything. If you don't want to take medicine you don't have to. Let's go Liv." He was becoming enraged again. He really meant that he forgave her but wasn't willing to be there if she did something she would regret.

"Elliot! Don't leave! You just got here."  
>"I'm done trying to tell you what to do with your life."<p>

"Elliot!," she yelled as Elliot and Olivia went to the car.

He and Liv just continued on to the car, despite hearing her pleas for him to come back.

"El..."  
>"Don't, Liv. I said what I needed to say. She doesn't wanna take medicine, fine. I just won't be there to watch her go in a downward spiral."<p>

"But she wants you in her life. You can still love her and she still loves you regardless of what she does with her life. You will regret it if you're not there for her now."

He hadn't started the car yet. He absorbed what Olivia was saying to him, and realized she was right.  
>"Liv, I didn't mean to snap at you. I-"<br>"It's fine El. Go tell her."

She stayed in the car as he got out and went to his mom. After a moment of talking he hugged her. Olivia didn't hear what they were saying but was relieved the air was clear between Elliot and his mom.

He came back to the car.  
>"Thanks Liv." She smiled. He couldn't kiss her because his mom was watching. He was going to tell his mom one bombshell at a time. They stared at each other saying what they needed to say before leaving.<p>

After watching what Elliot had done, Olivia had a choice to make. If he could forgive his mom after all the shit they went through, then maybe she could find it within herself to forgive her mom.

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**The things that Elliots mom did were straight from the ep. I did what she said out of memory so some of it is not exactly from the ep. i figured you guys had one chapter of Elliot and Olivia running and i wanted this to be focused on the forgiving. thanks for reading/reviewing :)**


	35. What doesn't kill you

**thanks to anyone reviewing. all your reviews make me smile lol**  
><strong>I have had some serious time on my hands since school is out. I got the job I applied for which is at the school so I won't be taken away from writing ;) and i dont start school or the job for a month. let the story continue...<strong>

**#$%^*&^%$**

Olivia and Elliot were back at the apartment. Most of their day off was gone already. Olivia was getting ready for that run she needed. Running was a stress reliever for her as well, and today she was stressed out just watching Elliot go through what he did.  
>"El, do you wanna go with me?"<p>

"If you still want me to. Not gonna lie, I'm no better at running than I was before." He chuckled.

"It doesn't matter. You don't have to. I was just asking."

"Liv, what's wrong? You haven't hardly made eye contact with me since we left my mom's."

"Nothing. I'll go on my own. No big deal." She lied. Even though she loved Elliot she still had her walls and guards up constantly. She started walking towards the door to leave, but Elliot stopped her.  
>"El, let me out."<br>"Not until you tell me what's wrong."

She hesitated. "El, it's really not a big deal. Just me being moody. It's my time of the month, now move." She made another excuse.  
>"Make me." He knew she wouldn't. He could see it in her eyes she was holding back tears. Not from him stopping her, just the weight of the day getting to her.<p>

"Tell me."  
>"If I do, you'll think I'm crazy." After she said that he grabbed her hands.<p>

"I would never think that, ever. You've seen crazy in me and my mom. If anyone's crazy it's me and her," he said, trying to lighten the mood. It worked. She started tearing up again and opened up.

"I...I just feel...like if you can forgive your mom for all the shit she's done then why can't I?"

"You have to figure out the best time to do it for yourself. I did it because I hadn't even thought about it until you brought up your mom. I needed to do it, for me. You have to do it for yourself. Not for me, or someone else, just for you." That was it. Him saying that was the opening of the floodgates. She started crying and he just pulled her into a hug.

"I think we should go right now, El. I wanna just talk to her though and I'll see where that leads. Okay?"

"Okay Liv."

It was a beautiful moment between them until his cell phone rang. "Sorry, Liv, I've gotta get it. Stabler. Kathy. So great to speak to you again. No not really. Why the fuck are you calling me? Oh that's lovely. Why won't you do it? I have to go." He hung up the phone. "I ordered that there be a paternity test on the baby. She's refusing it right now. So now I have to call Novak and see if I can't get a judge to force her to take one."

He got on the phone with Casey. "Hey, yeah my ex wife is refusing to get a paternity test on the baby. She's 5 months supposedly. Okay, thanks." He hung up the phone, exhaling heavily. "Casey's gonna get a judge to sign for a paternity test. Casey said she's far enough along to get a judge to compel one."

"At least we're both having a shitty day. At least we're not at work," Olivia said, not wanting to think about what the stress would be like on top of work.

"True. You really wanna go right now?"

"Yes. I have to start learning to let things go. She's dead. Nothing's gonna change now. Come on."

They grabbed chinese food from their favorite place as a way to help the day they'd had.

Elliot was tense just going to the cemetery with her. He didn't know what to expect.

She hesitated getting out of the car, just like he did when he went to his mom's.

He was willing to sit there with her until she was ready. She dealt with him, and he was ready to deal with her.

"Okay, I'm going. Will you come with me?"

"Of course."

They walked up to the tombstone of Serena Benson.

Olivia just stood there for a minute, not sure of what to say.

"It's been a while since I came around. I have to talk to you now." She started crying. Elliot didn't do anything. He was giving her space to feel the emotions she needed to feel. He would comfort her later.

"I'm gonna say what I need to say. I wanted to say that all the shit that you did to me as a kid...it's made me who I am. You were never the best mom. I was taking care of you more than you took care of me. I can't believe I'm saying any of this to you, because I never talked to you when you were alive because I thought somehow you would learn how to be a mom and come running after me. I was pissed off about everything. I should have learned to let it go. You were a victim, and now I know what it's like. But why didn't you...get help?" She paused, silently sobbing.

"Why did you have...me? What made you hit me? What made you yell and scream at me all the time? Why didn't you just ever talk to me or say you were sorry for anything? I'm just wondering what kind of pain you must have felt to make you hit me. Why didn't you just give me up? Spare me the pain. Your stubborn like that." She gave a small chuckle. "I guess I get it from you. I understand why you had so much pain, though. You had to look at me every day and relive what he did to you. I am a victim, just like you."

Elliot couldn't help it. He was tearing up hearing Liv talk to her mom. There was so much she wanted to say, so much pain and anger.

"Mom, I couldn't fix you, and I couldn't save you. So right now, I'm letting go of everything, and I'm letting go of you. I..." She started sobbing at the words she was about to say. "I...for...forgive you mom." She sat there crying, realizing what she had just said. It was another minute before Elliot ran up to her and just held her.

"You did great Liv."

They went back to the apartment. Olivia just didn't feel the burden she felt before. She still hadn't gone for a run that day. She told Elliot as soon as they got back, "I've gotta go, right now. It's 8 already. I'll be back in a bit."  
>"Be careful Liv."<br>"I will be. Bye."

She walked out the door and plugged in her headphones. She stretched and was ready to run forever it seemed. The song "What Doesn't Kill You (Stronger)" by Kelly Clarkson came on. She smiled a bit because it paralleled her life at the moment perfectly.

_What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stand a little taller_  
><em>Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone<em>  
><em>What doesn't kill you makes a fighter, footsteps even lighter<em>  
><em>Doesn't mean I'm over cause your gone<em>  
><em>What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, <em>_stronger_

That song could empower anyone when their down.

She ran through the park without a problem. She ran for almost 40 minutes and felt much better. She ran off those extra calories but also it didn't feel like she was as stressed.

She walked about a tenth of a mile home to cool down.

"Hey El, I'm home!"

She didn't hear anything. She instantly became nervous. She grabbed her gun off of the sidetable and started stalking down the hallway. She checked the bathroom first. Nothing.

Next was the bedroom. She went in and didn't see anything out of the ordinary.

"Boo!" Elliot grabbed at her sides and scared her. She screamed and turned around quickly.  
>"Holy shit Elliot! I thought something happened to you! I hate you right now!" Her heart was beating so fast from the adrenaline and getting scared.<p>

"Sorry." He tried to kiss her to say sorry to but she just backed away.  
>"No, your not getting away with it that easily."<p>

"Aw come on it was a harmless prank."

"Nope." She tried getting around him to get out of the bedroom but he wouldn't let her through.  
>She tried pushing him but he didn't budge.<br>"Come on El, I have to pee. Is that a crime now?" She tried lying her way around him, hoping he would feel bad enough for her to let her through.

"Maybe." He started slinking towards her as she backed up. She saw her chance. She tried making a break for it but he just grabbed her.

"Elliot let me go!" He just held her hands and then used a police move to get them behind her back.  
>"WHAT are you doing?" She was confused and getting annoyed quickly.<br>"Getting you to forgive me."  
>"No, your just really pissing me off!" He could tell she was pissed, but he wasn't letting her go.<p>

"Elliot, I'm gonna warn you one more time. Let me go," she said seriously.

"No." He poked his fingers into her in various places. It tickled her. Each poke caused her body to twitch and caused her to give a tiny yelp each time.

She made her move. She tried head butting him only to fail.  
>He chuckled, "You really are a rookie," he whispered in her ear, sending chills down her spine.<br>"What are you getting at Stabler?"

"You haven't learned enough yet." He started kissing her neck.  
>"What are you doing?" She held composure in her voice. She was fighting a moan.<p>

He reached around the front of her to grope her breasts. She didn't want to give him that satisfaction. Her breathing increased a bit and so did his. He unzipped her jacket, exposing her bra clad breasts.

"El, what..." She couldn't form the words.

He reached and touched her core. She couldn't fight it anymore, she moaned in response. She felt his hardening member in her backside. He stopped what he was doing and completely got off of her.

Once she gained composure she turned to him, still breathing heavily, "What El, can't finish what you started?"

"Payback, from this morning."

"I didn't grope you this morning. I kissed you."

"You might as well have."

"Okay fine. I'm gonna go watch TV." She finally walked out of the room, pissed off he would do that to her. He grabbed her and threw her back in the bedroom.

"You're not getting away that easily. You still haven't forgiven me. Don't make me pin you on the ground."

"You're never gonna hear me say that."

"I can change that." He kissed her and started undressing her again.

**&^%$#$%^&**

**It was a heavy scene so i had to lighten it up at the end lol. i know in the beginning when elliot has casey compel a paternity test from a judge that its unrealistic because a mom does not have to give one from the baby because of maternal rights and what not.. i figured it would be quicker to do a paternity test than wait til the baby was born tho.**  
><strong>and thats a real song by kelly clarkson! awesome song and thats all ive listened to and it just fit into the chap.<strong>  
><strong>anyways hope you liked it lol.<strong>


	36. Stress

**Since I've done the whole mom forgiveness now i need to focus on the rest of the cases and of course EO! Kathy is still in the picture too dont forget :)**

**thank you everyone who has added me to their alerts! i didnt know how many people were reading until i saw that! wow. im just in shock! THANK YOU all! :)**

***&^%$##$%^&***

Olivia and Elliot were up and going the next morning for work, the events of the previous day still fresh on their minds. They both felt more at ease than they had before.

"Thanks to you El I didn't get much sleep last night," she told him as she walked out into the kitchen.  
>"You coulda said no at anytime, but I think you thoroughly enjoyed yourself. Don't blame me. Not my fault your hot," he said seductively.<p>

"Yeah yeah yeah. Drink your coffee and shutup," she said sarcastically. "You should be quite happy today at work though. With getting everything out of your system and all," she smiled while she said it, referring to forgiving his mom among other things.

"If only the job didn't require getting up so early," Olivia stated. "That's the only thing I would change."

Olivia noticed to that her flashbacks and nightmares had significantly decreased the past couple of days. She wasn't going to jinx it though.

"Do you want anything to eat?," Elliot asked, taking her away from her thoughts.

"No. Coffee suits me just fine," she said while sipping at her black coffee. "I'm gonna go take a shower and no you can't come with me. We can't be late again. I love you El, but I can't go into work smelling like sex." She raised her eyebrows at him as she walked down the hall. She kept turning around to make sure he wasn't following her.

Elliot was disappointed he couldn't go with her. He was addicted to her like a drug. He was so infatuated with her. He couldn't quit thinking about her.

She took a quick shower so he could get in there. There was nothing worse than waiting for someone to get out of the shower that likes to take forever.  
>"Woulda been quicker if we showered together Liv," he said.<p>

"No, I think it would have taken twice as long as both of our showers combined El," she said while finding her clothes.

"Nothin wrong with that!," he yelled as he got into the shower, bathroom still steaming from how hot Liv had her shower. She just laughed at him.

They were both ready and out the door, that day being on time for work.  
>Elliot's phone rang as they were getting inside the precinct. "Stabler. Hi Casey. Tomorrow? That was fast. Thanks." He hung up his phone. "Casey said she got a judge to sign the paternity test today, and she will compel her to be at the hospital by 5 pm tomorrow or they will force her there."<p>

"Wow. That's great." Olivia wasn't planning on saying anything about what she was feeling, but he read her face like a book.  
>"What's wrong?"<p>

"Nothing! You always ask me that!," she harshly whispered because they were in the precinct.

"Usually I'm right. There's always something wrong that you eventually tell me about." He was right. He always coaxed the things out of her that she didn't want to disclose. It was like he administered a truth syrum to make her tell him.

"We'll talk at lunch. We just got here, we can't take a break right now. Plus we have a ton of paperwork to do," she said pointing to the mountain of paperwork next to her.

"Okay, but you're not getting out of it that easily."

Cragen came out of his office.  
>"Stabler, Benson. I wanted to fill you in. Fin and Munch got the confession out of Jason Sanders. I need you two to go search his apartment for evidence and whatever else is personal. Cabot's meeting you there. Go."<p>

"So much for getting this paperwork done," Olivia stated.  
>"Yeah, but now we can talk." He grinned at her.<br>"Oh, I can't wait!," she said with sarcastic excitement as they got into the elevator. "Why does Alex have to be there to carry out the search warrant?"

"I don't know but quit dodging. What's goin on?"

"Elliot, we're at work. I don't think it's appropriate," she dodged again.  
>"We're not in the squadroom, we're in the car. So we aren't at work anymore. What is it? You're not getting out of telling me. I'm gonna nag until you tell me."<p>

"What does it matter? It won't change anything." There it was. Her frustration bubbling to the surface.  
>"Change what?"<p>

"That Kathy's having your baby."  
>"So that's what this is about? The possibility of Kathy having my baby?"<p>

"I told you it's not a big deal," Olivia said, not looking at him.

"Obviously it is. What's bothering you so much about it? I know your still not thinking about being a mom if it is mine."  
>Bingo. He told her exactly what she was thinking. He saw her expression change.<p>

"That is it. Liv, how many times do I have to tell you? If and when you do have kids, you will be a great mom."

"It's different being one than hearing it. It takes a lot more than 'you'll be a great mom' to be a mom."

This topic was pissing her off.

"I told you I didn't wanna talk about it."

"But you did." There was silence

"What the..." Elliot started. They pulled up to Jason Sanders apartment. There was an ambulance and police cars already there.

They saw a stretcher with a body on it. A young girl, dead.

"Benson, Stabler. What happened?," Stabler asked.

"There was a girl in apartment 3B. Neighbors called police when they smelled something coming from the apartment."

"That's Jason Sanders apartment El."

"Yeah, was there anything else or anyone else in the apartment?"

"No."

"Thanks." They walked away from the police officer. "Jason Sanders has been in our custody for 3 days. Lord knows how long that girl was in there."

"Long enough for her to die," Benson said regretfully.

**(*&^%##%%$%**

**So in this chapter, the air sort of got cleared between Elliot and Olivia. And that whole twist came to me while i was writing. i thought it would be better than having them just search the apartment. boring lol.**

**and kathy's paternity test...and Nathan's trial...and Jason's trial. wow. so much to close up! hope it dont get boring...**


	37. Anger

**Last chapter ended with a shock lol. so what happens when they question the suspect about the girl? hmm. and i dont care how many chaps it takes there will be a trial of some sort! haha. as long as everyone still likes it i will keep writing it. please someone warn me tho if it gets cheesy! im doing my best to keep it fresh.**

**thanks for reading/reviewing. :)**

**^&*()(*&^%$**

"Cap, yeah, we've got a problem. There was a girl in Jason Sanders apartment. She's dead. Liv and I just got here and there were already cops on scene. Okay. Got it. He said he would get Melinda down here ASAP."

"El, how long do you think she was in there?" Olivia couldn't believe they missed this. She felt horrible. They were at the apartment but never went in because Jason had run away from the police.

"Liv, I don't know, but you can't beat yourself up about it either."

"I wasn't..." She narrowed her eyes at him.  
>"I can read your face, remember?"<br>She didn't respond. She just continued looking forward and averting contact with his eyes.

The scene was clearing because Cragen had gotten the case handed to SVU. All of the cops and detectives had no reason being there when it wasn't their case.

ME Warner arrived on scene. Elliot filled her in.  
>"This girl has no ID, and theres no leads on who she is."<p>

"Well, she doesn't look any older than 14. I won't know more until I get her on my table but from the looks of it she was someone's punching bag. I would say COD is blunt force trauma."

"We have the guy in custody. He's been there for 3 days, which means she was here just as long if not longer. They said they found her tied up. We didn't know about her until we got here. He put a young girl in the hospital. The age range and description fits his MO."

"Well if she was here for 3 days or longer, tied up without food and water, its possible it was a combination from the beating, starvation, and dehydration. I'll call you guys when I have more."

"Thanks. Liv, you wanna go check out the apartment?"

She just nodded.

They walked into the apartment to find it already emptied out, making it easier to search because they weren't constantly tripping over everyone else. They also smelled the reminants of the girls body that had been found.

Elliot's eye went straight to the TV. "What does our guy like to watch? Ah, kiddie porn, shocker." He quickly shut off the TV. Seeing it made him sick to his stomach.

"Look at this, newspaper articles about other crimes. It's the crimes he committed."  
>"Trophies."<p>

They searched for a good half hour before Elliot moved to the bedroom.

"What the hell? Liv, come here."  
>She walked down the hall and stopped. "What?"<p>

"What guy do you know that keeps their bedroom this clean?"

She laughed. "We all know you do."

"I can't do everything. Tidyness isn't exactly my strong suit in life."

They got to tossing the room. They tossed the mattress to find a collage of photos. It was on a large posterboard with hundreds of photos layered, all little girls, brunette with blue eyes. It wasn't kiddie porn, it was just photos of their faces.

"That's completely normal," Elliot said disgusted.

"Define normal," Olivia stated with question. "It's only been 2 weeks on the job and at this point nothing shocks me anymore."

"Trust me, you'll find things that always shock you in this job. Maybe not now, but eventually."

She couldn't help but connect that to her personal life with Elliot. Everything with Kathy. She hated that Elliot might have a child with her, meaning Elliot would never be away from Kathy. He could run back to her at anytime.

"Liv, have you found anything else?"  
>"Nope, you?"<br>"Nothing. What do you say we head back?"

"Kay. Can't say I'm upset to be leaving this apartment."  
>"Me neither."<p>

They got into their car. "Now that we're alone, what was that you said earlier? Kathy possibly having my baby, what's the big deal? We'll deal with it if it's mine." Elliot knew there was more to it, and knew he would have to push her to tell him.

"I didn't realize you needed to know my every thought and feeling." She was getting defensive because she was really tired of this topic and didn't want Elliot getting mad at her for saying something she had no right to say. She felt threatened by Kathy still possibly being in Elliot's life.

"I don't need to know every thought and feeling, just the ones that pertain to this."

"Can you just shutup, please?"

"Liv..." He gave up. He pushed her and now she was pissed at him.

Now he needed a way to make it up to her. They still had a long day of work ahead of them, too.

His phone rang. "Stabler. Okay. Let me know as soon as those results are in. Thanks Casey. Bye. Casey just told me..." he stopped himself, knowing she didn't want to hear anymore about that subject.

She was ready to scream in frustration. Stress was beginning to give her a headache on top of that. She had a pained look on her face.

"Liv, are you okay?"  
>"Peachy." She gave an annoyed smile.<p>

That's all she said to him until they got back to the precinct.

"Benson, Stabler, you're not done quite yet. Cabot said that the trial starts in a week. Wants to start preparing you guys for it." He walked away. Cragen didn't have to say which trial. They knew it was for Nathan Phillips.

Olivia felt her heart rate increase. Elliot saw the color rush from her face. "Liv..." He tried putting his hand on her back, but she avoided his touch.

"I'm fine. Let's go." They quickly got back into the elevator.

Their long day was about to get a hell of a lot longer.

**&^%$#$%^&^%$#**

**I figured this was a good place to leave it. Olivia upset with Elliot, I had to do something different with those two. Sure she got most of it in the open a chapter or two back, but theres always more to a story. And i wanted to show that she is still guarded. So, next we see them getting prepared for trial. DNA results are back for the paternity of kathy's baby... and, more about the dead girl and Jason Sanders. all of this added up means drama! ;)**


	38. Secrets exposed

**This is it. The start of prep for trial. :)**

**#$%^&^%$##$**

"Alex, Cragen said you wanted to see El and I?"

"Yes. We need to start prepping for trial. We need to have everything down solid. I will also prepare you for some of the defense's questions and statements. You already heard some of them in arraignment, but he's gonna go into your past. He's gonna make it seem like Elliot is always getting rough with suspects and that Olivia is an inexperienced and unreliable cop."

"I saw the comments about me coming, but Liv? She is not inexperienced. At SVU she's still considered a rookie but she has been a cop for 2 years."

"Are you gonna let me speak for myself?," she scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Alex he's right, but how can he say I'm inexperienced?"

"Because like Elliot said, you've only been at SVU 2 weeks. He is going to claim that you didn't do a proper job by getting a confession yourself. It might get thrown out due to bias. Even though I was there, defense can claim that I am not a good witness."

"Even without the confession, do we have enough to put him away for a while?," Elliot asked eagerly, out of concern for Olivia.

"It should be, yes. My questions are going to try to strike about certain topics before defense gets to them and try to clear the air before defense gets to you. Is there anything I need to know about either of you that Langan can get a hold of?"

Olivia paused. She couldn't tell Alex. Elliot was afraid to tell Olivia to tell Alex about it.  
>"Liv, it's in your file, isn't it?" Olivia glared at him.<p>

"Elliot I can't."

"Tell me what?"

"Nothing," Elliot left it alone. He just hoped that it wouldn't bite Olivia in the ass on the stand.

"Olivia, whatever it is that Langan can get a hold of, you should tell me."

"No. I don't have to do anything. Are we done?," Olivia asked, eager to get out of there.

"For right now, yes." Alex was suspicious and had to find out what Olivia was hiding.

Elliot and Olivia left. Quickly after, Alex was going to find Cragen.

"Captain Cragen," she said quietly. Alex was sneaking around so that Elliot and Olivia wouldn't see her.

"Alex. What brings you here? Did Elliot and Olivia come see you?"

"Yes. That's what this is about actually. I asked if there was anything that defense could say about them and their policework. Olivia hesitated. I told her she should tell me what it was and Elliot asked if it was in her file. Is there something I need to know and is there anyway I can see her file? Langan has access to both of their files, and I need to be prepared for whatever comes up."

"Olivia should divulge that information to you herself." He got up to call Olivia into his office. She walked in to see Alex, she instantly laughed out of shock and annoyance.

"Olivia, I brought you in here to clear things up."

"Clear what up?" She knew what it was about, but wasn't going to give it up that easily.

"Alex says that you were keeping something from her in her office when questioning you about your past. Is there anything in your file that defense could bring up that might affect the trial?"

"No." She looked down at the floor, not believing that she was the one being put on trial. Her past, something she was trying to get over and keep covered up.

"Olivia, I'm sorry for what happened, but this is bound to come up in trial, and Alex can't protect you if she doesn't know what's coming."

She was furious that Cragen was putting her in this position. "Ya know what? Fine. I was sexually assaulted a year ago while I was undercover. Happy?," she said quickly and walked out of Cragen's office, slamming the door behind her.

"Liv, what happened?" She ignored him and kept walking. She went up to the cribs. He followed her.  
>"Elliot go away." He heard the frustration and tears in her voice.<p>

"No." He grabbed her. "I'm not leaving you alone. You've been like this since this morning."

"What the fuck ever. Leave me alone!" He forced her into a hug and she quit fighting.  
>"Liv, I'm not leaving. Whatever it is, I'm not leaving."<p>

She was silently crying. "I told her. Now everyone's gonna know that I'm a victim. Their gonna put that on trial instead of that piece of garbage."

"They aren't going to put it on trial."

"Yes they are!"

"Alex will protect you and so will I. Listen to me. It's going to be okay."

She slowly felt herself spiraling out of control. Every day was becoming a new challenge. Every day was becoming a fight.

His phone rang. "Sorry, I've gotta get it Liv." He moved her so that he could grab his phone. "Stabler. Okay. Talk to you later. Thanks Casey. Paternity test is in."

Olivia looked at him, eager to hear the results. "And?"

***&^%$#$%**

**AND WHAT! What happens? Is the baby his? This chapter I really wanted to throw Olivia's frustration in there. I figured it was better to have her be mad at him and create tension, and then he was there for her in the end. and it's realistic that it would be brought up at trial.**

**What do you think? ;)**


	39. Relief

**Not gonna waste time with notes! haha. back to the story!**

**^%$#$%#%$^#**

"And?"

"And, Liv...It's not mine."

She sighed in relief and so did he. "So she was cheating on you?"

"Yeah. Doesn't surprise me."

Olivia had to admit that she was harsh on him about the whole situation, that she was sorry, which was not something that came easily for her. She looked at him.

"El, I'm-"

He cut her off. "It's forgotten. I understand why you felt the way you did. Well not really, because I will never understand women, but you had a right to feel that way."

She smiled. "Thanks. We've gotta get back to work."

He kissed her, knowing everything was forgiven and forgotten.

They went back to work, finally able to fill everyone in on the new evidence in the case.

"So, we've got a child obsessed rapist and killer if he gets the chance. Isn't there 2 other murders he committed?," Cragen asked.

"Yes, and this makes 3," Olivia said, holding up the photo of the dead girl. She posted it to the bulletin board. "We need an ID on this girl so we can let the family know."

"I've had Fin and Munch working on it. Olivia, if you need time off you can take it. Otherwise I need you two shuffling through evidence to find out how he got these photos."

"Liv, he didn't have a computer right?"  
>"Not that I saw but he could have hid it somewhere. We still have his car and any other property to search."<p>

"Maybe he did it at a public terminal."

They left.

"We should go check his car at impound," Olivia said.

"We all know you just wanna spend more time with me," he grinned at her.  
>"Oh yes that's exactly it. You're the one thinking your getting laid tonight because we're okay now."<p>

"Nah, I wasn't thinking that at all."  
>"Liar. Does the name 'horndog' ring a bell?," she said, chuckling.<p>

"Who wouldn't think about you Liv? And, your saying you don't think about me?" He grinned.  
>"No I'm thinking about the guy with a potbelly that lives next door to me. He turns me on like nothin else," she said sarcastically. She loved pushing Elliot's buttons like that.<p>

"Then you can have him move in and I'll move out. How's that sound?"  
>"Great." She just laughed.<p>

He was gonna get her back, later for saying that, even though he knew she was joking.

They arrived at the impound lot to get Jason's car.

"Ah, lovely, a dirty, disgusting car," Olivia said.  
>"And perfect, it smells," Elliot added.<p>

"It's the old pizza...and the gym shoes and socks. Ew, and the puke." Olivia almost gagged. At least she had gloves on.

"Keep searching. Something is bound to be in this mess." He popped the trunk, to find another mess. "Jesus it's a clusterfuck." He moved a pile of clothes. "Liv, I found something."

"Thank god!," she said as she moved away from the car. "I can breathe!," she inhaled fresh air.

"Look. It's one of those netbooks, laptop but a lot smaller."

"Perfect for on the go kiddie porn surfing," Olivia said disgusted. "Can we leave now?," she asked eagerly.  
>"Yupp, we've got what we need." Elliot was just as ancy to get out of there. "And, now we smell like a dump."<br>"I liked that shirt," Olivia said.

"I guess I'll have to take it off later, alone," he was playing the game she was earlier.  
>"Okay. You need a shower and so do I."<p>

"It's 5 30 now. By the time we even get back to the squad it will be close to 6 30." He pulled out his cell phone.  
>"Even my phone is starting to smell like old gym socks. Hey Cap, me and Liv found a laptop. We will take it back to TARU and see what they can get off of it. Okay. See you then. He wants us to stay and try to get an ID on the girl. Munch and Fin have a few leads on missing girls."<p>

"Okay. Hopefully he'll let us shower when we get back. I'm not sitting at my desk smelling like BO and a fast food restaurant."  
>"I'm sure he won't have a problem with that. That's the last thing is two detectives that smell talking to victims."<p>

They got back to the precinct to find Fin and Munch still searching missing persons. Elliot went up the them both and said, "Smell that." He went right in their faces. "I smell great I know, no need to say," he said.

"Holy shit Stabler. What'd you do, bathe in garbage?," Fin asked.

"Close enough. Me and Liv are gonna head down to the locker rooms to get showers. We'll be back in a bit."

There were separate locker rooms for the men and women of the precinct. The doors were right next to each other. Elliot grabbed her and took her into the mens with him.

"El, what the-" he kissed her.

"So, you would prefer a potbelly guy huh?" He knew she was joking when she said that but he just wanted to prove a point to her.

"That was-" he kissed her again.

He made sure no one was in there in the shower area and pulled her over with him.

"Elliot! We can't do-"

"The hell we can't." He started undressing her quickly, partially cause he was anxious and because they both smelled.

"El..." She knew there was no point in talking him out of it because he was going to continue. She was almost naked. The barrier was her underwear only.

"Stabler! You in there!," they heard someone call.

"Oh shit!," he spat.

She stayed quiet.

He was still in his underwear and it was a guy so he grabbed a towel and walked out to confront Fin.

"Hey, what's up Fin?"

"Nothin, Cragen wanted Liv when she was available. I called for her in the locker room but wasn't going to go in because, well, it's ladies." Fin didn't want to walk in on her showering or something.

"Yeah I think she said she was going somewhere real quick before she showered," he covered her tracks.

"Alright, well can you let her know if you see her?"

"No problem. I'll be up in a bit."

"Scrub extra hard man. You smell like a sewer." Fin couldn't get out of there fast enough. Elliot just chuckled.

"Fuck that was close," Elliot said as he walked towards her.

"Which is exactly why we can't do it here!" She was worked up but she did not want that embarrasment of getting caught at work.

He grabbed her as she was walking away. He grabbed at her breasts and she couldn't fight a moan. He started the shower.

"Sure we can." He grabbed her and kissed her.

**#$%^&*&^%$#**

**That was close lol. we still have 2 trials at least to get thru. and the rest of the divorce proceedings. so its coming to a close pretty soon. and of course more EO! :) this chap was fun to write. i tried to make a lot of metaphors for what they could smell like. lol. i figured i put enough of them in! just imagine the worst smell ever ;)**

**thanks for reading/reviewing :)**


	40. It never ends

Olivia and Elliot finished their shower and got back to trying to find an ID for their victim.

"This poor family..." Olivia said, sounding depressed.  
>"Yeah, that's why we work harder to find this girl's name."<p>

ME Warner walked in as Elliot finished saying that.

"I have an ID for the girl. I pulled her dental records. Her name is Pamela Tason, 12 years old." She handed Olivia the file. "All of her information is in there."

"Thanks. Says here the family lives at East 92nd, apartment 993. Isn't that near Sanders apartment?"

"Yeah, 3 blocks away. It's only 8 30, we can tell the family," he said with regret.

They got to the apartment.

Olivia felt a knot in her stomach. This was her first time at SVU telling a family that their child was dead.

"Mrs. Tason? I'm Detective Stabler, this is my partner Detective Benson. Is your daughter Pamela Tason?"

"Yes." The woman looked like she had been crying. She instantly called for her husband. "Garry!" He came to the door.

"We're very sorry to tell you, but your daughter is..." Elliot couldn't finish the statement, but the parents understood. They held onto each other tightly and cried.

"How?"

Neither of them knew how to tell the parents that their daughter was brutally raped, beaten, tortured and starved. "Mr. and Mrs. Tason. We're very sorry for your loss. Would you mind coming down to the station to give an ID?"

Mrs. Tason was a wreck, she could barely talk. "Does she have to go?," Mr. Tason asked.

"Not if she doesn't want to. We only need one of you," Olivia said, catching on to how traumatized the mother was. Olivia felt every bit of pain that the mom felt in that moment, and she couldn't help but think that it wasn't fair that they were going through this.

"Trish, I'll be back soon, okay?" He kissed her forehead and hugged her.

The detectives took the oppertunity to ask about the family knowing Jason Sanders.

"Mr. Tason, did you or your wife know a man named Jason Sanders?," Olivia asked.

"No. Should we? Is he the man who did this?," he said angrily.

"We believe so. Here we are." They walked to the window. When Warner pulled back the sheet the man broke down, almost collapsing to the ground. Elliot caught him. "It's her! It's my baby girl!," he yelled.

Both Olivia and Elliot had the same pit in their stomachs, not able to imagine the pain that these parents go through when they find out their children were gone.

They took him back to an interrogation room to sit down.  
>"Is there anything we can get you?," Elliot asked sympathetically.<p>

"No thanks, I'm fine."

"Mr. Tason, I know this is tough but we have to ask you about anyone in your life that may have wanted to hurt you or your family."

"Uhm, I'm a construction worker and my wife is a nurse at St. Matthews hospital. We don't have anyone that hates us that much to..." He broke down again. "...to hurt my girl."

"Okay. Is there anything you can tell us about your daughter? Places she went, what school she goes to...," Elliot asked.

"She goes..." He paused the pain hitting him even harder," I mean went to the park a couple blocks from our house. It's the one at her school, St. Johns on East 89th street."

Elliot and Olivia looked at each other and were thinking the exact same thing. That was Jason Sanders street.

"Did she have a lot of friends?," Olivia jumped in.

"Yeah. She always had her friends over or she was always going over there."

Elliot was ready to throw Jason Sanders across a room. He was enraged for this dad, and for the other families that he affected.

"How did my little girl die?"

"She was kidnapped and held in an apartment."

"Did she go quickly?"

Olivia answered, but couldn't tell him no. "She didn't feel any pain at the end."

"Was she...raped?"

"We don't have conclusive results yet, but we believe so, yes."

Elliot started speaking to him again. "We have the man in custody already. The apartment she was found in, we believe he committed other similar crimes in the state."

"How many?," the father asked.  
>"We know of at least 3 in this area," Olivia said. "We're still investigating."<p>

"Is that all?"

"Yes, we can take you home now to your wife," Elliot told him.

They got back to the precinct feeling the weight of the world on their shoulders.

"El, how the hell are we supposed to tell those parents that their daughter was beaten and starved?"

"You handled it well. You said what he needed to hear. And it wasn't completely false. When people starve their body goes into shock and they don't feel anything anymore."

"That's supposed to make them feel better?"

"No, it's just telling you that you did a good job."

"Benson, Stabler, nice job today. You two can go home now," Cragen said as they were about to sit down.

It was 10 30 already. It was the longest day that they had had yet. Not time wise, but the events of the day made the day drag on forever it seemed.

Olivia and Elliot went home. Neither of them could sleep. This case was hard on them. They hadn't slept great in a couple nights. He was cuddled up to her like they usually slept.

"Liv, are you okay?"

"Yeah. You?," she whispered.

"You want the honest answer or a lie? I'm fine."

"Liar."

"Liar liar pants on fire," he countered, earning a chuckle from her.

"This isn't elementary school El."

"Yeah, but you lied to." He kissed her head. "I know your not fine, because I'm not either. But you can't keep blaming yourself for it. There's nothing more we could have done."

"If we had just opened the door to the apartment..."

"But we didn't. We have to accept it and move on."

"How?"

"Put the son of a bitch in jail, catch another perv, put them in jail."

"It's never gonna end. No matter how many we catch, there's always going to be more."

"That's why we do what we can now for the victims and catch who we can," Elliot said.

"Maybe."

Elliot eventually went to sleep but she couldn't help but think of the evil in the world. It weighed heavy on her mind until the middle of the night, when she finally went to sleep.

The alarm jolted them both awake. Another day of evil, another day of facing it, another typical day for SVU.

**%^*&^%$#$%^&**

**Well I was up most of the day watching the SVU marathon and writing. some of my fav eps were on. i tried mixing a bit of everything into this chap. welp. now that we have an ID on the girl they can get to pinning Jason's ass to the wall. lol. i have a feeling someones gonna lose their temper ;) *coughcough Elliot coughcough* haha. maybe liv? who knows. thanks for reading/reviewing. :)**


	41. Twisted

**This chapter starts as soon as they got to the precinct that morning.**

**#$%^%$#**

"Elliot, Olivia, you guys need to go down to holding at Rykers and question Jason Sanders. Take Alex with you," Cragen ordered.

"So much for sitting down," Olivia said. "What is it, a 2 hour drive up to Rykers?"

"Yupp."

"I might sleep," she laughed.

"Did you stay up all night?," he asked, concerned for her.

"No big deal," she shrugged

"The hell it isn't. I'll tell Cragen I'll go alone." He started walking back into the squadroom.

"No," she snapped as soon as he said that. "I need to do this."

He hesitated a moment. "Okay." He wasn't going to argue with her. He understood.

The ride to Rykers for them was quiet. Olivia was getting more anxious as they got closer.

Both of them wanted him to rot in jail for what he did to all those girls and their families. There may have been more that the police didn't know about.

Olivia and Elliot didn't even have to ask each other how they were going to play it. They were setting a groove now. They meshed as one. They played off of each other, a great quality to have as partners.

"We need to see Jason Sanders now," Elliot said holding up his badge to the guard. Alex was already there.

"Okay let me tell the guards to bring him down."

They went down the hall to see the guard bringing Jason into the isolated visitation room. It was an all cement room with a table and a couple chairs. He had chains around his ankles and handcuffs on. Elliot, Olivia, and Alex were all staring at him like the animal he was.

"What the fuck? Why are you guys here?"

"Sit down," Elliot said angrily.

"I already told them cops everything already," Jason said annoyed.

"No. You had a girl in your apartment. She's dead. That makes 3 counts of murder, 1 count attempted murder so far. Shall we go for a 4th?," Elliot said sarcastically.

"What? She died? Damn, she was a sweet ride," he chuckled at the memory. Elliot lost it. He grabbed Jason by the collar, lifting him out of his chair, and pulled him up to his face.

"You sick son of a bitch. You think your mister tough guy huh? Preying on innocent girls?" He let him drop back in the chair once he had a grip on his temper.

"They wanted it. All of them. They flirted with me."

"How many is all Jason? 4? 5? And, enlighten us, how the hell does a 12 year old girl flirt?," Olivia quipped.

"More then you'll ever know lady. And they would look at me and smile," he said with a snicker.

"What did you touch little girls because you couldn't get any anywhere else? I mean look at you. Your ugly, pathetic, jobless. I would never date scum like you," Olivia said, trying to piss him off and get more out of him.

"Because you don't know what your missing. I'm the best ride those girls have ever had."

"In my experience, guys who brag about it are lacking in other areas as well," Olivia said, incinuating his crotch, with that look that said 'Don't fucking mess with me.'

"Or was it just mommy issues? Did mommy not love you?," Olivia said with a pouted lip.

"Whatever. I don't have to answer any questions," Jason spat, leaning back in his chair.

They were starting to get to him.

"No. But the guys in here would love to know what you did. Once they find out you were touching little girls they'll turn you into their bitch," Elliot said, almost glad they would.

"You can't do that."

"Watch us," Elliot glared at him. "Tell us about the other girls."

"I would but I just don't think I have enough time," he smiled evilly at them.

The detectives signalled for them to get Jason out of the room. They were done with him for now. For the hell of it, he punched Jason sending him out of his chair onto the floor. He didn't think, he just did what he did.

Alex was mad but couldn't be to mad because that man had murdered at least 3 girls, attempted a 4th, and that was enough to get him life in prison.

"Stabler, whoever the judge, their gonna chew out your ass for doing that," Alex said.  
>"Not if you don't tell them," Elliot told her.<p>

Now Alex had a choice to make. Put Elliot's career at risk or just keep this to themselves.

"And if things would have gotten out of hand Alex, I would have stopped him," Olivia told her, matter of factly.

"Olivia, what if you didn't? Elliot could have beaten the shit out of the guy."

"Well he did, but I didn't feel like once he was out of control. You would have known if he was." Olivia was bound and determined to defend Elliot's actions if it came up again, too.

"What the hell Olivia, are you in love with your partner or something?," Alex asked sarcastically. She was in front of them so she didn't see Olivia and Elliot look at each other and didn't see Elliot grab her ass after she said that, making Olivia jump. She turned to talk to them again. They were both hiding a laugh. Alex was oblivious to it. "Anyways, I'll let you guys know about arraignment. And I will be calling you guys about the Nathan Phillips case."

"Okay," Olivia said, finally able to smile a little at her. She was glad this hellish field trip was over.

As soon as they got into the car she got on Elliot about his little stunt. "What the fuck Elliot, I was about to scream bloody murder from you doing that! That hurt!," she said, rubbing the spot he grabbed harshly.

"I like it when you scream," he said promptly, giving her his classic Stabler grin.

She punched him in his groin. "Jesus! What the fuck is it with you and hitting?," he said holding his groin area.

"Now we both have bruises below the belt," she smirked. "Benson 4, Stabler 4. All tied up Stabler."

"Yeah yeah okay rookie," he said while waving his hand.

She was about to hit his arm and he caught it, while driving with the other. "Like I said, rookie," he cocked a smile. She had another hand but thought it was pointless, and because she wanted at least one his hands on the wheel.  
>"Are you done rookie?," he asked, knowing he had won this one.<p>

She stayed silent, so he twisted her wrist a bit, just enough to cause pain. "Just watch the road Stabler," she hid her pain.

He twisted a bit more. "You forget my mom was a drunk. It takes more than twisting a wrist to get me to say it."

He kept twisting, each notch increasing the pain. It was a typical police move, but it hurt like hell. Her face said it all, but their arms blocked it from his view, and he was watching the road.

Then it got to the point she couldn't take it anymore. "Fuck you Stabler! Mercy!," she yelled. He instantly released.  
>"Stabler 5, Benson 4," he said almost laughing.<p>

She rubbed her wrist. They always had later. The rest of the ride was uneventful.

Always with them, it came down to payback, and she was going to get him back, no matter what.

**(*&^%$##$%^**

**Well, how does she get him back? Kathy still in the picture. Nathan Phillips trial. of course more EO ;)**

**thanks for reading/reviewing :)**


	42. Dont panic

**this chap has a time jump. just a quick overnighter so i can get to the arraignment of Jason Sanders. used symbols in the middle of the chap. **

**%%$#!#$%**

Later that night, Elliot and Olivia had finished up paperwork and found out more about Jason Sanders from TARU on his computer.

The photos were from all sorts of places. Kiddie porn, little girls who were models, and just regular photos he had taken of little girls he had seen.

Creep.

They didn't know how many of these girls he had been stalking or what he had done to them, and there was no way to track them down because there were so many of them. The only thing they could do was put him away for life.

Her phone rang. "Benson. Okay, we'll be there. See you tomorrow. Thanks. Alex says arraignment for Jason Sanders is in the morning. Wants us there."

"I don't have a problem with that."

"Benson, Stabler. I want those 61's on my desk in the morning," Cragen said as he was heading into his office.

"Already done," Stabler said.

"Well if that's all then you two can go home. There's nothing more to be done," Cragen told them.

"Alex called, arraignment for Jason Sanders is in the morning. Me and Liv are going."

"Okay. See you in the morning." Cragen walked back into his office.

"Ready to go home?," Elliot asked, grabbing his jacket.

"Of course," Olivia answered. She was going to get her oppertunity to pay him back at home. He had no idea what was coming.

***!$^*^$##$%^&^&^^&$^$%%##$%#$#%#%#%**

Judge Thomas was their judge. He was probably one of the toughest judges to convince on what bail should be set. "What do the people request Ms. Cabot?"

"The people request remand your honor. The defendant is a serious flight risk. He has committed 2 other murders in this state that we know of. There may be more outside of New York."

"The people don't have sufficient evidence. They only have a specific MO used by the perp," Jason's attorney stated.

"We found a dead girl in his apartment. The MO matched the other two cases perfectly. We also have DNA. The detectives had to chase the defendant down after he ran. They did not enter his apartment, and if they had they would have found her and the girl would still be alive. The defendant when questioned by police did not mention this girl. Her name was Pamela Tason."

Hearing those words just engraved it into Olivia's heart. She was still feeling guilty for not having entered the apartment and it hurt to hear it out loud.

"My client claims he was brutally beaten by the police while being questioned," the defense attorney argued.

"Your honor the defense has no substantiated evidence to support this. He could have been beaten in custody by another inmate. The defendant has more than one reason to lie about that." Alex covered for Elliot. He owed her big.

"I'm going to have to agree with Ms. Cabot on this one. The defendant shall be remanded until trial. Until then, Ms. Cabot, make sure all your ducks are in a row before trial. We're adjourned." He struck his gavel down.

"Great job Alex. Thanks for doing that," Elliot said, not wanting to be chewed out again in court.

"Yeah, no problem. We need more evidence though. You two need to go back and find me something other than the MO before trial. And speaking of, Nathan's trial is set for Friday, instead of next Monday. I need to talk to you guys again and make sure we have everything is straightened out. I'll call you guys later and you can come to my office."

Olivia was still pissed about the whole situation with Cragen, but at the same time she knew it was bound to come up at the trial. Better Alex knew it now than finding out then.

They parted ways.

Olivia's chest was tightening up. Her anxiety was hitting her, hard.

"Liv. Liv!" She snapped out of it.  
>He knew what it was, but she wasn't going to admit it anytime soon.<p>

"Are you okay with doing the trial? Can you do it?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine." Lie.

He knew she was lying, but wasn't going to push her right now. She looked pale and sickly. Pushing someone was not a good combination with anxiety.

His phone rang. "Stabler. Hey Casey what's up? Okay. I'm about back at the precinct right now. I'll drop Liv off and be there. Casey arranged a final meeting with Kathy and her lawyer about the divorce. Now that we know the baby isn't mine, it shouldn't be a problem much longer."

Olivia still wasn't feeling right. She just nodded her head in agreeance. He could see it. Her breathing was increased and she was starting to sweat. "Liv, are you okay?" He knew what she was going to answer, and knew it was a lie.

"Yeah."  
>"No you're not. You're showing signs of a panic attack." He grabbed her hand. "Breathe." She flashed back to when they were on the plane, when he helped her through her near panic attack on the plane. She calmed down by the time they got to the precinct. The reason she was anxious was not only because of what Nathan did to her, but because of what she had gone through with Harris.<p>

Elliot knew her. He knew her quirks, her reactions, her feelings, her past, and she knew he would be a part of her future.

She didn't have to say anything to him. He knew what she was thinking constantly. It was kind of scary sometimes.

She also knew him though. She knew everything that he knew about her. There was still so much more to learn too about each other. They still had the rest of their lives for that though.

**$&(*%$!#%^&**

**So right now I am going to do a 3 day time jump and get right to the morning of the trial for Nathan Phillips. I've been doing day by day just to show everything thats been happening. and there was no way to do a time jump with all the drama that was happening ;) so its not a huge one, but it makes sense to do it right now. **

**thanks for reading/reviewing :)**


	43. Trials

**Like I said, time jump lol. another time jump in this chap. ;) im just tryin to move it along. no point in dragging on every little part of the trial. just the important parts. :) **

***&^%##$ **

The trial had started. Olivia and Elliot were both due to take the witness stand. Olivia was terrified, but was hiding it. She sat through that grueling first day. It was opening arguments

Prosecution went first. Alex got up and walked over to the jury to face them. "The defense is going to try to convince you his client is not guilty by reason of insanity. Well, I am going to prove this theory wrong. We have an overabundance of evidence suggesting that he knew exactly what he was doing. We have a straighforward confession leading us to where we are today. He is going to tell you that his client was driven mad because he was rejected by women. How many of you have been rejected? Did it drive you crazy? Crazy enough to stalk that person? What about rage? Have you ever been so mad that you killed someone? Have you ever killed for that someone that rejected you?" She paused and eyed the jury down, making sure they heard every word she was saying.

"I am here to prove to you that Nathan Phillips knew exactly what he was doing when he stalked and murdered. When I'm finished, you will easily make a decision of your verdict." She returned to her seat with confidence.

Brian Langan was up next. "That was a very touching speech that Ms. Cabot just gave. However, I didn't hear any proof that my client did it in that. Sure the police got a confession. It was nothing more than by cohersion. The cops led that confession. The photos could have been in his possession from anyone though. A friend could have given them to him, or it was just a collection of important people in his life. And my client is technically insane. Mr. Phillips goes into a blacked out state when he does something that increases his heart rate. That's for later. Yes he was rejected, but he did not kill anyone. The police found one hair, just one, matching my client to the crime scene and then assumed that it was him who had committed the other crimes. That hair could have come from anywhere. The hair could have come from my client having a run in with Nathan. Ladies and gentleman of the jury, Nathan Phillips is nothing more than a victim of the justice system." He returned to his seat.

The whole day was the prosecution and defense going back and forth. The judge adjourned for the day at around 5, meaning Olivia and Elliot didn't get any work done that entire day.

"That was fun," Elliot said sarcastically.

"Oh yeah hearing all of the sick and deranged things he did all summed up into one day was great," Olivia retorted.

"Still got more. We get to get on the witness stand. I don't think we need to be there til that happens though."

"Yeah, hopefully it's soon." She felt her stomach in her throat.

Elliot saw it in her eyes regardless of how much she tried to hide it that she was nervous.

The next three days consisted of doing paperwork and waiting for the call from Alex that they were next on the witness stand. They were still gathering evidence for the Jason Sanders case, too.

Then Benson's cell phone rang. She paused. She knew what it was. She checked caller ID. Alex.  
>"Benson." She hid the quiver in her voice. "Okay, we'll be there. El, Alex needs us there in 30. We're next as witnesses."<p>

"Let's go."

Everything went in slow motion for Olivia. The drive there, and before they got out of the car, Elliot leaned over to talk to her. She was staring blankly in front of her. Elliot kissed her cheek and she came out of it.  
>"Liv, it's gonna be fine. You will be fine." Their lips were nearly touching. He kissed her gently. She deepened it.<p>

He was her security. He was her saving grace. He was her strength. He was Elliot. They had to stop before it got to heated in the car.

"I love you Liv."

"I love you too El." She was near tears.

She felt loved and knew he was there for her no matter what happened. Not many guys can say they would literally kill for the love of their lives.

They would have done more to support each other but their colleagues still had no idea about their relationship. Each step still was an eternity for Olivia. Even though she had support from Elliot, it didn't make this any less aggrevating for her.

"Liv, you will do fine. Imagine me killing the guy." She laughed a bit. She tried breathing in the waiting area. Her stomach was churning. The only other time she could think of that she was remotely this nervous was Sealview. That was different.

"Elliot Stabler, you're up."

"I'll be back out when you're called."

30 minutes later he came out, and she could tell he was enraged. "What happened El?"

"Nothing." He didn't wanna scare her. The defense used every trick in the book against Elliot.

"Olivia Benson."

"Liv, remember what I said." She gave a small smile. It was genuine, because it was funny to think about.

She walked into the courtroom to see him sitting at the defendants table, smiling. Her heart was jumping out of her chest and she kept walking. The room around her was in slow motion. She thought about Elliot and everything he had told her. This was her moment. She was going to put this guy away, no matter what.

Alex walked up to her at the witness stand. "Detective Benson, let's start from the moment Detective Stabler arrested the defendant. Did the defendant physically assault you?"

"Yes."

"What did he do?"  
>"When I was arresting him he elbowed me in the chest."<p>

"What injuries did you sustain?"  
>"I had 2 broken ribs and minor internal bleeding."<br>"So you essentially could have died?," Alex emphasized.

"Yes." She looked over at him and her terrified feeling turned into anger. Alex intentionally walked into her view of him to keep her from freezing.

"So then what happened?"  
>"Well, I stayed in the hospital overnight and me and Detective Stabler interrogated the suspect the next day."<p>

"So soon after? Isn't it a bit dangerous to do that?"

"I was discharged by the doctors," Olivia said.

"Objection your honor, where is this leading?," Brian Langan shouted.

"Your honor, I am showing that Detective Benson got a viable confession and was not leading him into it."

"Over ruled. Get to the point Ms. Cabot," Judge Donnelly said.

"When you interrogated him, what happened?"

"Well, I sat down in the chair across from him. I asked him what he had done to me and to the others. He said there..." she paused and looked down, remembering his face in that room. She shook it off. "He said there was things that he did that I would never know about. He broke into my apartment and watched me sleep for the past couple of years..." His face, him in her room. She kept getting caught in her thoughts. "I don't believe that's all he did."

"Detective, are you okay?"  
>Her eyes went straight to Alex's face. "Yes. I'm fine."<br>Alex continued with caution. "What else did the defendant say to you?"

"He said he had killed those two men and sodomized them."

"What about the pictures you found in his locker?"  
>Olivia's mind flashed back to seeing those pictures of her and others.<p>

"Uhm, eventually we got him to admit that he was planning to kill others...for me."

"Why?"

She inhaled sharply, her chest still hurting a very little bit from her broken ribs. "Because. I had moved from the precinct I was working at to SVU."

"And that's where you know the defendant from, correct?"

"Yes."

"Detective, did you and the defendant ever have an intimate relationship?"  
>"No, never." She sounded offended at that.<p>

"Then why would he obsess over you?"

"Because we went out on one stupid date. I told him I didn't want to see him anymore, it would have been to weird."  
>"Okay." Alex had a choice to make. Did she bring up Sealview or not? She knew Langan would pull that trick, so she had to make a pre emptive strike, even if it meant getting Olivia worked up.<p>

"Detective, how many times have you gone undercover for this job?"

Olivia knew where she was going with the questioning, and her stomach came up to her throat again. "I...go undercover whenever it's needed. I have gone under at least 4 separate times for major cases."

"What have you done?"

Olivia started with the earliest case that she had gone undercover for. She had just become a cop. "Well, I became a cop 2 years ago. They sent me undercover as a stripper, as a madame, as a druggie..." she was terrified to even say it.

"You said 4 Detective, what was the last time?"  
>She shot Alex a harsh look. "I was an inmate at Sealview."<p>

"What were you doing at a prison?"

"We were trying to determine who was raping the inmates." Her thoughts shot to Harris. She shuddered a bit.  
>"Did you eventually catch him?"<p>

"Yes. He was sentenced to 3 years."  
>"Who?"<br>"Lowe...Lowell Harris."

"Why didn't he get a harsher sentence?"

"Because. The jury was unsure about the ID. A victim had identified marks on his body." Flashbacks flooded in like crazy. Harris. The basement. The door he trapped her at.

"What was that defining mark?"  
>"A..." She felt like she was going to be sick. "A mole. On his penis."<p>

"Who was one of the victims?" Alex knew she could not disclose that information on the stand, forcing her to say the other option.

Olivia knew what she needed to say. "Me," she said quietly. She lifted her head to say it again, tears forming in her eyes. "Me," she said louder.

"Were you raped?"  
>"No."<p>

"How did you see it?"  
>"I was sexually assaulted. He had his pants down when my partner came in and stopped it."<p>

"How long ago?"  
>"A year."<p>

"Do you feel it affects your job?," Alex asked, getting all of the troubling questions out of the way.  
>"No," Olivia answered quickly.<p>

"But you were a victim."

"Yes, but I work to get the perps off the streets. It drives me more to get scum off the streets." As she said that she shot a look at Nathan.  
>"Thank you." Alex sat back down.<p>

Then Langan got up.  
>"That's a very touching story Detective Benson."<p>

_Bite me. _Olivia thought.

"So my client gave you a confession? Isn't it inappropriate for a victim to question the suspect?"

"Not if it doesn't create a bias. He wanted me to hear it."  
>"Why would he want that?"<br>"I don't know," Olivia said honestly.

"Then how do you know he wanted you to hear it?"

"Because Detective Stabler tried questioning him."

"Oh you mean when he got physical with my client for the second time?"

Olivia had to answer. "Yes."

"So my client was already battered in custody when you questioned him, that's great."  
>"Objection!" Alex yelled and stood up.<br>"Withdrawn. You went in the room right after Detective Stabler came out, correct?"  
>"Yes."<br>"And my client just opened up to you?"

"Yes. After I asked him basic questions."

"Were those questions leading at all?"  
>"No, that's why their called basic questions," Olivia said, looking at Langan with a great deal of annoyance.<p>

"So what about this ordeal you went through? You didn't take out your rage on my client because he looks similar to Lowell Harris? Exhibit 3 your honor." Langan put up enlarged photos of them both next to each other.

Except for the hair color, their faces looked eerily similar to one another. Olivia didn't look at them.

"Objection. I didn't realize the way a defendant looked was what determined their guilt."  
>"But it does. If Detective Benson flashed back to her attack then she could have questioned my client under bias."<br>With disgust Judge Donnelly said, "I'm going to allow it. Answer the question Detective."

Alex knew something like this would happen.

Olivia sighed, feeling more disgusted by the second. "I would never go off of what someone looks like to determine their guilt. I follow the evidence, like all cops." She gripped the arm rests of the witness chair until her knuckles turned white.

"It's just a coincidence that you got the confession then?," Langan asked.  
>"I got it because he wanted to tell me and me only."<p>

"Your just taking out your anger on people that look similar to your rapist."

"Objection!"  
>"Withdrawn."<p>

"Doesn't Lowell Harris get out this year?"

"Yes."

"In June, correct?"  
>Olivia hadn't thought about it. "Yes."<p>

"Are you going to chase him for no reason and try to catch him for supposedly raping someone?"

"OBJECTION!" Alex yelled.  
>"Your honor, the jury needs to see that Detective Benson is still traumatized from her attack and has a personal vendetta against anyone looking like her attacker."<br>"Find some other way, counselor," Judge Donnelly said, thoroughly annoyed.

"Detective, what did you do after your attack? Did you try to get over it?"  
>"I will never be over it. I live with it," Olivia answered, looking at the jury.<br>"How?"

Wasn't he done badgering Olivia? This prick was really going there. She stayed silent.  
>"Your honor," Langan said basically tattling on Olivia.<br>"Answer the question Detective."

"I went to therapy."  
>"Did it help you?"<br>"Yes."

"When was the last time you were there?"

"Objection! What the detective does in her spare time isn't on trial here."  
>"Judge, when the detective goes may have an impact on her state of mind at the time of interrogating my client."<p>

"Overruled," Judge Donnelly had no choice.

"I was there about 2 weeks ago."  
>"Why?"<p>

"Objection! The detective has client privelage with her therapist. She does not have to disclose that information."  
>"Sustained. Counselor, your pushing it."<p>

Finally Alex had gotten an objection.

"Detective, are you in a relationship right now?"  
>"Objection! Her personal relationship has nothing to do with the case."<br>"It does have a hand in how she is coping with her attack though."

"Over ruled," Judge Donnelly was as tired of it as Alex was.

"Yes I am."  
>"Is it with someone close to you?"<p>

Why the hell was he asking her this?  
>"Yes." She finally was able to smile a bit.<p>

"Is it with a detective?"

Olivia shot him a look, hoping this wasn't going where she thought it was. "Yes."

"Is it someone in your precinct?"

"That's against policy." Olivia knew what he was getting to.

"There's a lot against policy, but you and Detective Stabler bend the rules, don't you?"  
>"We try not to break them, if that's what your getting at. It does happen occasionally though and when it does, Captain Cragen let's us know and we don't do it."<p>

"What about your relationship with Detective Stabler? Isn't that against policy?"  
>Olivia looked shocked.<p>

Alex shot out of her chair so fast it almost fell over. "OBJECTION! Detective Benson's relationship does not matter."

"Your honor, with all do respect, the detective and her partner have a habit of breaking rules. If they break the rules now, then it could give bias to the case."

"Sustained. Mr. Langan, her relationship with whomever has nothing to do with the case."

"Nothing further." He returned to his chair.

"You may step down Detective Benson," Judge Donnelly said.

_Gladly. _Olivia thought. She couldn't get out of there fast enough. She was pissed. It was like her whole personal life was on trial.

"Court is adjourned today. We will continue in the morning at 9."

Elliot was waiting for her. She ran out to him.

"Well..." He asked anxiously wanting to know

"Well Langan knows about us!," she said in a harsh whisper.

"What the fuck? How?"

"I don't know!"

Then they remembered. They kissed in the parking lot. Someone must have seen them. Langan must have seen them.

They got out of the courthouse as soon as they could and headed back to the precinct. How were they going to focus on work when they were exposed? They would have to find a way because there was always more work to be done.

**&^%$##$%^&**

**I tried making that as realistic as possible! I wasn't sure about bringing their personal relationship up but now it leads to more drama! haha.**

**thanks for reading/reviewing. :)**


	44. Questions

**El and Liv have to deal with being exposed...**

***&^%$#$%^&**

"Benson, Stabler, my office now!," Cragen yelled across the squad room.

"This can't be good," Stabler said as he and Olivia got out of their seats.

"I just got a call from Alex. She said she was taken aback by finding out from Langan while Olivia was on the stand that you two are in a relationship." Cragen was fuming.

"Captain. I was on the stand. Alex questioned me. Langan brought that up out of nowhere and Alex tried objecting..." She was avoiding the topic as much as she could.

"Well, is it true? Because if it is you two are going to be stepping into world war 3."

Elliot decided why not come clean now. "Captain, we have been in a relationship for the past 3 weeks. It started quickly." He didn't know how else to explain it.

Cragen sighed heavily. "IAB is gonna be up your asses and mine like nothin else when they find out." He had no idea. "But considering you guys have made some major collars and one of the best teams we've got, hopefully they take that into consideration when deciding what to do with you guys."

They looked at each other, fearfully. For good reason. IAB didn't mess around when it came to policy.

"We understand. Can we leave?," Elliot asked eagerly.

"Yeah, I've got a few calls to make." Cragen picked up the receiver of the phone.

They left the office, and they were both tense now, adding to their stressful week.

"What now Liv? They might split us up, fire one of us, or both of us." He didn't want to think about it but they had to face reality.

Olivia felt sick again. She was feeling it more and more lately. "I don't know El. I'll be back." She rushed to the bathroom quickly but not to quickly as to not to alarm Elliot.

She got in there and threw up like she hadn't unless she was sick with the flu. She left the bathroom now with a new burden to consider.

Elliot could tell she wasn't feeling well, but didn't want to ask her or tell her. They continued their work until IAB walked in. "Benson, come with me please."

She looked up at the agent, Tucker. "Excuse me? What's this about?"

"Don't worry we are only going to room 1. Stabler go with Agent Morris." He wasn't asking, he was demanding.  
>"The hell I am until I know what this is about."<p>

"You both know." He grabbed Olivia and Elliot exploded.  
>Elliot jumped up out of his seat. "Get your fucking hands off of her!"<p>

"Oh how sweet, defending his girlfriend," Tucker quipped sarcastically. Everyone's heads in the squad room snapped up at that remark.

Elliot was fuming. He was very close to hitting him and didn't care if it meant losing his job.  
>Olivia saw it in his face and had to stop him. "El, he isn't worth it. But if you don't get your hands off of me, you will be holding something else very shortly," Olivia threatened. Tucker let her go, not wanting to be doubled over.<p>

Olivia and Elliot were taken to separate rooms. Cragen had no choice but to tell IAB. He figured the detectives could handle it now.

Tucker started the recording tape and started speaking. "Detective Benson, it is my understanding that you and Detective Stabler are in a relationship. Is this accurate?"

She gave him the death stare, hoping it might actually kill him. "Yes that is accurate."

"How long have you two been intimate?"

She was not about to divulge that information. "Excuse you? Who said anything about being intimate?"

"You."

"No. We are in a relationship." She knew Elliot would deny it, too. The less IAB knew, the better. It was also against policy just to be in a relationship, so the less rules they broke today, the better.

"Without sex? I find that hard to believe. And Cragen didn't know about it until today?"

"Correct."

"Do you and Stabler work well together?"

"Yes. Why wouldn't we?"

"Stabler's a bit of a hot head."

"He controls it." Olivia fired answers off as soon as he was done asking them.

"He's never been forceful with you?"

"No, and I don't like what your suggesting."

"Nothing, just asking questions. Do you keep it professional in the workplace?"

"Of course. We talk about cases and work. That's it."

"No sexual references?" He smirked.

"Never." Olivia still held the stare she had given him in the beginning of the interview, which was more of an interrogation and she didn't like not being in control of the situation.

"That's all for now. You and Stabler go home. As of right now you two are suspended."

Olivia thought that was to easy. She knew there had to be more. She was more than happy to get out of there. She found Elliot ready to go, with a look like he was going to kill someone. She knew what he felt like, because she probably had the same exact look.

"Went that well huh?," she asked him.

"Yeah I told em to get bent every two seconds when they asked me about our sex life," he mumbled.  
>"I told them we weren't having sex."<p>

"That's what I said to."

"Wow. I thought you would but I didn't know if you did. Glad we think alike." She smiled at him as they walked to the car.

For now they weren't worried. They were just incredibly pissed off at IAB.

When they walked into the apartment Elliot grabbed her head and kissed her as hard as he could. She couldn't help but moan.

They made quick work of their clothes, leaving a trail down the hallway to the bedroom. He almost didn't make it to the bedroom to ravage her. He needed this and so did she.

She moaned as he skimmed her body with his hands. He kissed his way down over her neck and found her pulse point, which caused them to both moan loudly. His mouth continued his descent until he hit her center. He licked up and down twice. "Jesus El." She grabbed the back of her hand to the back of his head. He brought his fingers down and entered two easily. His mouth assaulted her clit. She saw stars. She couldn't speak. The only words she could get out were "Oh my God" and "El." He felt her muscles around his fingers. "Fuck El!" She gripped the sheets and her head slammed down into the pillows. He slowed down his movements until she came down from the high. Then sped back up. He added a third finger and continued working her over into a second mindblowing orgasm. "SHIT!" Her breathing was crazy fast and she felt like she would die of pleasure.

She couldn't move. He grinned and removed his fingers roughly and brought his member to her entrance. He entered slowly and she tightened around him quickly. He fought through it, feeling his own release approaching.  
>"Fuck Liv, you feel amazing." He put his hand down on her body and slid it down in between them. He tweaked at her clit in timing with his violent thrusts. He was taking out his anger on her, and it was pleasure that replaced the anger. She had another remarkable orgasm.<p>

"Liv..."  
>"Mmm?" She couldn't say anything.<br>"Scream." He exited from her completely and thrust harshly once more and scream is exactly what she did. It came out as a mix between "Oh fuck El!" "Right there!" as she clenched around him for a shattering final orgasm, triggering his own release.

He rolled off of her, stilling inside her.  
>Their breathing was labored.<p>

"That was fucking phenomenal," she exclaimed.  
>"Yeah it always is with you. Never gets old." He wiped the hair out of her eyes as her breathing returned to normal. "And we're suspended meaning we have more time to do it," he said with excitement, making the reality of suspension not so bad.<p>

She thought it would be best now to bring up what she had been thinking about most of the day.  
>"El, I know you knew I wasn't feeling good the past week or so."<br>"Yeah what about it?"

She looked at him in his beautiful blue eyes. "Well, I never get sick like this. Not more than a few times when I have the flu, and I don't think I do because I don't have a fever."

He knew what she was saying. "Are you saying that you might be-"  
>"Pregnant." She smiled a bit.<p>

He couldn't help but smile. He kissed her. "I love you Liv."

"I love you too."

"Once we get feeling back in our legs, we can go get a pregnancy test okay?" He chuckled as he grabbed her hand.

"Okay." She was happy at the moment but couldn't help the feeling of being terrified. For right now, she was just enjoying being with him, the man who knew her inside and out, the one she fell for hard.

She never thought it was going to happen, and her dreams were all real now.

**#$%^&*&^%$#**

**What happens with their jobs? What happens when they get a pregnancy test? What happens at the conclusion of the trial? AH! so much left to cover. ****thanks for reading/reviewing! :)**


	45. I love you

**So, is she preggers! ;) we'll find out lol. thank you to all who are reading :D **

**&^%$#$%^**

Olivia and Elliot decided to go get a pregnancy test that day. Elliot was anxious and excited about possibly having a baby because he knew it was his if she was pregnant.

They got 2 separate ones. She took them at the same time. The 3 minutes she had to wait was agonizing. The timer went off and she went to check them both. He followed her in.

"Oh my god," she said.

"What? What do they say?"

"They say...that we are going to have a baby." She was in shock. She couldn't have been more than a couple weeks along. They had only started having sex less than 3 weeks ago. She still didn't feel ready to be a mom. It takes two to tango. She should have thought about it more. She sat down on the couch in shock.  
>"Oh my god," she kept repeating. Her heart was racing.<p>

He sat next to her and grabbed her hands. He saw the doubts in her face. "Liv, whatever your thinking, get it out of your head. You are going to be a great mom, and this is our baby, not mine and Kathy's or yours and someone else's, it's ours. You are already a great person, this baby is lucky to have you as a mom already."

"El, what if-"  
>"Stop. You're going to be fine. We are going to be fine. No matter what. You and me, forever." He thought about marriage instantly. They hadn't really talked about it much even though they were moving so fast.<p>

He knew the perfect way to make this a better day for her. It was great news to him, but she was so unsure of everything at that moment. "Liv, let me take you somewhere."

"Where?"

"Doesn't matter, let's go."

She didn't know what he was planning for her. But the pregnancy was all the assurance he needed to make this choice and they had time to do this.

He drove about an hour away from the apartment. They pulled up, and her face said it all. She was in even more shock than she was from finding out she was pregnant.  
>"What are we-"<p>

"I'm sure you know." He smiled.

"Hello, welcome to Tiffany's. What can I do for you today?," the clerk asked.

"Pick one out Liv."

"El, I...don't know what to say."

"I do. Olivia Marie Benson, I love you with all of my heart. I have for the 3 weeks I have known you, and I knew from the first moment that I laid eyes on you that we were going to be together forever. Our baby is going to be beautiful inside and out because she or he has a beautiful mother." He touched her stomach as he said that. "Baby, we are forever. You make me a better person. You make life easier. You make me happy. You have made me the luckiest bastard alive." He proceeded to get down on one knee, grabbing her hands. "I love you. Marry me Olivia?" His eyes were blurred with tears.

She was full blown crying though. Never in her life had she heard such a beautiful speech, full of love, and it made it all the more special coming from the man she loved more than life itself.

She knew her answer. She smiled and laughed. "Elliot, I had a crush on you from day one, then you made all of my dreams come true by being with me, and loving me for who I am. I love you. Yes." He got off of his knees and kissed her, lifting her up and spinning her around.

The clerk was crying too. "That was beautiful. Pick one out, free of charge," he said, waving his hand.

"What? You don't have to do that-" Elliot started.  
>"I do, because I know love when I see it. You two are special. Go ahead." The clerk's name was Antonio and he had a spanish accent.<p>

Elliot stood and watched Olivia scan all the rings until she found the perfect one.  
>"What's your ring size hon?," the clerk asked her.<br>"I believe it's a 5."

"I will be right out." He came back out with the most beautiful ring Elliot and Olivia had ever seen.

She tried it on.  
>"Beautiful Liv." He kissed her again. Words could not describe how either of them were feeling.<p>

"Thank you El, and thank you Antonio." She reached her hand out to shake the clerk's hand. He kissed it. She started crying tears of pure happiness again. Elliot made all her fears and doubts that she had slip away with his kiss.

To interrupt their day was a phone call. "Gotta be work," Elliot said. "Stabler. Okay, what does that- oh. Okay. I will let her know. Thanks Cap." He hung up. He sighed heavily, and Olivia couldn't read his expression.  
>"El, what did he say?"<p>

He looked up at her, then smiled. "IAB has no case. They said that we have kept it professional and no one knew about us so Cragen said we can return to work tomorrow."

She had a huge smile on her face and they couldn't quit kissing. Their shitty day just turned into the best day ever within a matter of hours.

"Gracias Antonio!" They both said as they exited the store.  
>"De nada!" He yelled and waved.<p>

They returned to the apartment to have dinner along with a night together. Neither of them could quit smiling. They were going to get married, and be a family.

**#$%^&&^%$**

**i tried putting a new twist on the typical 'their getting engaged and are pregnant' scenario. i thought antonio was a nice touch! lol next, they return to work, and find out the verdict of the cases.**


	46. Advantages

**so what happens with el and liv? what happens when they return to work? what happens with the trials? all of that is going to be covered fairly quickly. :)**

**!#%&^%$#**

Elliot and Olivia got in touch with a doctor's office the next day when they took their lunch break. Olivia hadn't worn her ring around the precinct trying to avoid the questions and stares from their coworkers.  
>"Liv, when do you wanna tell everyone?"<p>

"I don't know. We just got suspended yesterday because of our relationship. One step at a time Stabler." She smiled.

"I think we should just tell Cragen. Then he can get used to the idea of us getting married, and having a baby." He still wasn't used to saying it or hearing it. They were really going to have a baby. And they were really getting married.

"Fine." They finished their lunches then went to Cragen's office together.

"Captain, Liv and I have some news." Elliot said while shutting the door.

"What news would that be?" Cragen was completely oblivious to what they were about to say.

"Well, only though me and El have been together for 3 weeks, we truly love each other. We appreciate that we have our jobs back and they didn't fire us...I'm babbling. Captain...I'm pregnant."

Cragen was taken aback for a moment. He looked up slowly from his paperwork he was doing and looked at them blankly. "What? Did I just hear that correctly?"

"Yes. That's not all." She grabbed the ring out of her pocket and slid it on her finger. Cragen's face was priceless. "Uhm, wow. You sure you can afford that on a detective salary?," he chuckled.

"Actually, the clerk at the store gave it to us, if you can believe it," Elliot said, still not believing it himself.

"Well, congratulations." He smiled. "IAB might try causing more trouble though, warning you now."

"Thanks," they both said as they walked out of the office, happy that Cragen didn't have a coronary from the news.

They felt like nothing could stop them. Elliot's phone rang.  
>"Stabler. Okay, that was fast. We'll be there. Alex said she and Langan finished closing arguments yesterday and the jury is back already."<p>

Olivia and Elliot quickly left the precinct to get to the courthouse.

"Has the jury reached a verdict?," Donnelly said.  
>"We have your honor."<p>

"How do you find the defendant?"

"We the jury find the defendant Nathan Phillips guilty in all of the above titled counts."

Olivia and Elliot could hold hands and they hugged as the verdict was read. The nightmare was over.

"The court thanks the jury for their services. We will meet here in the morning for sentencing. We're adjourned." Everyone in the courtroom felt justice was served.  
>"Olivia," Alex called after her and Elliot, catching up with them in the hallway. "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry to both of you for what I had to put you through," she said sincerely.<p>

"It's okay Alex, really. We both understand why you did what you did. It came up in cross, you actually saved me a world of embarrasment bringing it up instead of Langan," Olivia told her.

"Well, I just had to get that off my- OH MY GOD that's a huge rock!," she exclaimed to them while looking at her hand. Olivia forgot to take it off before going to the courthouse. "Are you two-"

"Yes we are. And we also have a baby Stabler on the way," Olivia said while smiling and grabbing her belly.

"OH my goodness! Congratulations!" She gave Olivia a hug. "And congrats to you dad," she told Elliot and hit him on the arm. Elliot had a huge cheesy grin across his face.

"Thanks. Do you mind Alex keeping it to yourself? No one knows besides Cragen," Olivia told her.  
>"No no of course! Anything for you guys." She looked at her watch. "Sorry, but I've got another case to arraign. I'll catch up with you soon! Bye guys!"<br>"Bye Alex," Olivia said, not being able to help but laugh at Alex's reaction.

"El, why don't we just tell everyone? It would be easier than keeping the secret."  
>"True, and if that's what you want. We'll tell them when we get back." He put his arm around her and walked out of the courthouse with her.<p>

They waited for exactly the right time to tell everyone. In the mean time Alex had called them and let them know that the other case of Jason Sanders was done already. Jason Sanders was also found guilty on all counts. Sentencing was the next morning right after the sentencing for Nathan.

Overall, the past few days was a whirlwind for Olivia and Elliot.

Finally Olivia walked over to Fin and Munch.  
>"Aw congrats baby girl."<br>"Just letting you know that the government is planning for the baby already," Munch chimed. "Big brother is watching," he peered over his sunglasses.

"Thanks Fin. Thanks Munch?," she said with question. She shook it off and went back to her desk to finish paperwork.  
>"Olivia, can I speak to you a moment?" Cragen called.<p>

"Yeah."

"Shut the door please." He knew what he was about to tell her was not going to be received well by her or Elliot.  
>"What's up?"<p>

"I've decided that you are on desk duty until the baby is born. That's the last thing we need is you getting injured. Elliot would kill me if anything happened to you. He might after hearing this." He got up to get Elliot in the office.  
>"What the hell Captain? With all do respect I can do my job! I am only a couple weeks along!"<p>

"I would rather keep you safe." Elliot came into Cragen's office, shutting the door behind him.  
>"Elliot, I've decided to put Olivia on desk duty."<p>

"What the fuck? She isn't 5 captain. She can take care of herself and our baby," Elliot told Cragen.  
>"I know that. I'm not questioning her abilities. I am questioning how long she could be in the field without putting stress on the baby." He made a valid point, and Elliot hadn't exploded quite yet.<p>

"He's right, Liv." He grabbed her. Olivia didn't want to work without Elliot by her side.

"Olivia, I'm sorry. It's how it's gotta be until you have the baby."

"I understand," she said. Just because she understood didn't mean she was happy about it.

"Let me know if there is anything you guys need throughout her pregnancy and keep me in the loop," Cragen said warmly.

"We will." Then a lightbulb went off in his head. "Captain, can we get a week's vacation when we have the wedding? It's going to be before the baby comes but we don't know when yet."

"Uhm yeah. I will just need your guys paperwork when you want it. Let me know."

"Thanks." They both left the office realizing how easily and calmly everything went down.  
>"Liv, speaking of when do want this wedding?"<p>

"I wanted to wait til next March 14th, because it's the first day we met. But the sooner we get it done the better."

"Okay, are you sure, I just thought that you would want it soon. Before the baby. I assumed. I'm sorry."  
>"It's fine. Really. I'm more pissed that I'm benched for the next 8 months." She was thinking how long that would drag on for.<p>

"Think of it this way, you get stuff done, you get to go home early every day."

"True. I could sleep in if I wanted to now." That idea interested her as she laughed.

"Yeah. So don't complain to much," Elliot said. "Some of us will still have to be up in the middle of the night to crime scenes and wake up before the crack of dawn."

"Maybe being pregnant won't be all that bad," she said, thinking about the benefits and also being a mom. "Don't forget I have the doctor's appointment tomorrow to confirm it," Olivia said, knowing he was excited.

"How could I forget that?" He smiled.

They both ended their day on another good note. For once in both of their lives, everything was aligning and going exactly as planned.

**$%^*&^%$#**

**Aww :) as the story continues im winding it down so it calms down a bit. its been chaotic lol. more EO..how are Jason and Nathan sentenced? What happens at the dr. appointment...?**

**thanks for reading/reviewing :)**


	47. Nerves

**Like i said trying to move it along lol.**

**#$%^&&^%$#**

Elliot and Olivia had their doctor appointment first thing the next day. Cragen gave them the okay to go. Work was slow.

"You nervous Liv?" He grabbed her hand in the car.

"Not really. Are you?" She raised her eyebrow. She read his face and saw that he was nervous.

"No."

"Don't lie El," she laughed. "Why are you nervous?"

"Because. I want this baby to be healthy. I don't want anything going wrong."

"I'm only 2 weeks along as far as we know. I don't think we have to worry about it yet. This thing is the size of a pea right now," she said pointing to her normal sized stomach.

It was nice to see this side of him.

They got to the doctor's office, Dr. Amelia Taylor.

"Olivia Benson?"

They got up out of their seats and went into the office. Elliot looked pale.  
>"El, are you okay?" She really hadn't ever had to ask him that. She was used to the big and bold Elliot Stabler.<p>

"Yeah, I'm fine," he said with a paled expression.

"Still lying. Tisk Tisk," she said.

They got into the office. "Dr. Taylor will be with you in a moment." The nurse handed her a gown to change into. This was the first time Elliot had ever been a gynecological office. It looked like legalized torture.

She changed and sat on the table.

"Ah, Miss Benson, pleasure to meet you, and who is this?" She shook Olivia's hand and waited for an answer.  
>"This is my fiance, Elliot Stabler."<br>"Pleasure." She shook his hand.

"You two are here to get a checkup?"

"Yes we need a confirmation that I am pregnant."

"Ah, is that why he looks like he is going to be sick?" The doctor asked, laughing with Olivia.  
>"Yeah, he'll be fine." They laughed.<p>

"First, I need you to lay down so I can do the ultrasound." Elliot walked over and grabbed her hand.

"This is going to be cold," Dr. Taylor said as she put the gel on Olivia's stomach. Olivia was chuckling.  
>"Sorry, I'm ticklish."<p>

"It's fine. Alright, the first ultrasound it's difficult to find the baby. It's the size of a pea, if not smaller. Tilt to the left please." Olivia did.

"Ah, right there, you see that tiny spot? That's your baby. In a few weeks it will grow to the size of a bean. Fascinating."

"El," Olivia said, tears in her eyes.  
>"Liv, that's our baby." He was tearing up to.<p>

"By the looks of the ultrasound, you guys are about 2 or 3 weeks along. Do you know about prenatal care?"

"Not really, no," Olivia answered coyly.

"You have to try not to drink caffeine. You don't want to drink alcohol, do drugs, or cigarettes. The baby is susceptible to diseases if you do any of those activities. You want to take prenatal vitamins. The grocery stores and such usually have a section dedicated to that alone. You also want to be in the least stressful areas and remain destressed. You can get different books to read up on different activities you can do as you get farther along. Another thing I want you to do maybe take some La Maz classes. You don't have to worry about that for a few months, but they train parents. What to expect with labor, what to expect with a baby, and how to do the necessities like change a diaper and make a bottle."

"Okay. That sounds like a lot," Olivia said, kind of overwhelmed by all of the things she had to do in the next few months.  
>"Being a mom is a joy, but getting there can be a bit of a pain. Not the conception so to speak," she chuckled, then continued," but knowing what to do with a baby can be nerveracking. So, why don't you get over here and put your feet up on these and I can take a look."<p>

Olivia started moving off of the table, dreading what was coming next.

Elliot was confused. They found out she was pregnant. What else was there?  
>"Take a look where exactly?," he asked concerned.<p>

"I need to take a look at her vaginal area and take a look at her reproductive organs."

"Oh," Elliot said a bit shocked.

"Don't worry El, it's just a check up. This isn't for the faint of heart though." Olivia hated the gynecologist exams. Someone poking and prodding in her most private areas, literally.

She grabbed Elliot's hand and exhaled. "I promise I'll be as gentle as I can."

Olivia winced and squeezed Elliot's hand as the doctor's tool entered her. The pressure and feeling it was horrible. It was nothing like the penetration of sex because it wasn't enjoyable. Sure Elliot's size may have stretched her The doctor prodded and pulled at her insides, each passing second becoming more unbearable. Finally she finished up.

"Everything is looking great. There's nothing that looks unusual. You probably already know Olivia you will be sore for a couple of days. All part of motherhood. I want you to come back in one month so we can see how this is going. Is that all you needed me to check out today?"

"Yeah, see you in a month." Olivia smiled.

Dr. Taylor left the room.

"Well, that was an experience for me," Elliot said, kind of disturbed. "Women have to go through that?"

"Just like men have to go through prostate exams eventually." She chuckled. "It sucks but we have to make sure everything is normal."

"That's just...not right," Elliot said with a disgusted look on his face.

"You're how old Stabler and your telling me you didn't know women had to go through this?"

"No idea until now. I don't learn about the things that don't really concern me, well until they concern me."  
>She smiled. She got dressed so they could leave to go to the sentencing hearings. Olivia was already sore. She couldn't even imagine what childbirth was going to be like.<p>

They rushed to the courthouse anxious to hear the sentences of both their major cases.

The proceedings had just started for Nathan Phillips case.

"Will the defendant please rise?," Judge Donnelly started. "After careful review of all the evidence and testimony, I hereby sentence you to life in prison without the possibility of parole. Bailiff, take the defendant."

Nathan turned to Olivia. "You will always remember me. I love you Olivia. It was worth it..." He kept talking as they were taking him away.

Olivia held her breath. Elliot grabbed her hands and looked at her until she started breathing normally. "You okay?," he whispered.

"Yeah, I'll be fine." She smiled at him.

"Bailiff call the next case," Donnelly said.

Up next was Jason Sanders sentencing.

"Docket ending number AE248939, Jason Sanders."

"This case was difficult. Any case dealing with kids is. It's the way justice is served that matters. After consideration of testimony and evidence, I sentence you to 25 years to life without the possibility of parole. Bailiff, take the defendant. Court is adjourned." She struck her gavel down.

Winning both cases was one thing, but getting correct justice was another. Both cases gave a huge sigh of relief for everyone working closely with the case. Cragen came up to them. "You two, go home for the day. You guys can take your work home with you. How did the appointment go?"  
>"Great," Elliot exclaimed, smiling.<p>

"That's good. I will see you guys tomorrow then." Cragen walked out.

"Let's go home El," Olivia said as she wrapped her arm around him as he did to her.

"I love you Liv, and our baby."

"We love you too El." They both smiled.

They went home and did all their work and then got to relax. Elliot loved Olivia like he never had. He was trying to wait on her hand and foot.

"Elliot I am fully capable of walking and using my hands."

"You heard the doctor. No stress."

"I am less than a month along! I will more than appreciate this when I can't walk and am bloated to the point of no return, but right now, please don't worry about it. I can move. I am thankful for that." She laughed.

"I know, but I just want you and the baby to always be okay. I don't mind doing this for you while I can."

"I will never get you to stop this for me will I?"

"Nope. Stubborness will be one of our babies qualities, by the way." They both chuckled.

They had a lazy day the rest of the day. Technically, a family lazy day.

**$%^&**&^%$#**

**So I tried making the doctor visit as realistic as possible. I wasn't sure about the gynecological exam and what not because ive never been there or had an exam, but ive heard friends and my mom tell me that its awful lol. i wasnt 100 percent sure about the baby size at that point in pregnancy either. i believe thats close to what it is if i remember correctly from what ive learned about development ;) if not dont be mad! haha. i tried to keep this from repeating or getting bland too lol. **

**thanks for reading/reviewing! :)**


	48. Plans

**from now on i will cover 1 or 2 months at a time..making it easier to get to 9 so the baby can be born. and so i can get to the wedding lol. so this chap starts 1 month after the previous. so olivia is now 1 month, 3 weeks pregnant. **

**&^***&^%$#$%^**

The first month of pregnancy was a shock to Olivia and Elliot. She started getting a very tiny baby bump, making her go out and start buying larger clothes, something she was not used to. She couldn't go on her runs anymore, so she and Elliot tried getting a romantic long walk in a few times a week. Olivia didn't have morning sickness every morning but when she did, Elliot was by her side comforting her through it. Desk duty was getting old. On top of this, they were starting to plan for a wedding.

It was a typical Sunday for Elliot and Olivia. They sat around all day and tried planning for the wedding. Olivia, hormones and all, was not having it.

"Liv, what if we do without the flowers?"

"Elliot we have to have flowers, somewhere! Anywhere!," she yelled, her hormones causing her to go into crazy fits.

He got up and knew she was stressing herself out for nothing. He started rubbing her shoulders. She moaned into it. Being pregnant she was more horny than she ever had been, and Elliot was happy to fulfill her appetite. The moan made them both want it.

"El, I'm sorry for-"  
>He cut her off by kissing her. "Hormones, Liv. There's a downside. There's an upside though too," he said as he grabbed her breasts, letting her fall onto the couch, and catching her moans into his mouth.<p>

His phone rang, interrupting. "Son of a bitch. Stabler. Yeah. I'll be there. Bye. Cragen wants me at a crime scene, says they need everyone they can get."

Elliot didn't move off of her. He continued kissing her. She pushed him away for a second.  
>"El, if you have to go why aren't you moving?"<p>

"Finishing what I started," he said sliding his hands to take off her pants.

"El..." She was attempting to tell him to go but how could she? "Your gonna...smell like sex if you- oh fuck," she moaned as he slid his finger into her, already clenching around him.

Then he had a thought.  
>"I'll take a shower, would you like to join?," he said as he got off the couch, having to remove his finger, causing her to groan in frustration. "I thought you wanted me to stop," he grinned, lifting her up and kissing her to the bathroom.<p>

**$%^%$##$%**

Elliot left after their shower, leaving Olivia on the couch to plan for the wedding. She still had to get a dress, and she wanted one before she looked like an oompa loompa. She laid down for one minute and before she knew it she was asleep. She had a nightmare of an array of all she had been through in the past couple of years.

_"You wanna play games? Fine, but when I find you, you're it."_

_"Somebody help me! HEELLP!"_

Harris.

_"What did you do? Tell me," _Olivia heard her own voice asking.  
><em>"You will always remember me Olivia."<em>

Nathan.

Olivia jolted awake to find Elliot walking in. He ran over to her after seeing her face, realizing it wasn't a peaceful nap.  
>"Liv, what happened?"<br>She was terrified. She hadn't had a nightmare about anything in over a month. She was near tears. "I...they...were there."  
>"Who?," Elliot asked, sitting next to her and calming her down.<p>

"Harris...and...Nathan," she said through labored breathing.  
>"But you haven't...you haven't had nightmares in-"<br>"A month. That's the first one I've had. I have my doctor appointment tomorrow. I'll ask her."

Elliot was terrified for her. What would happen to her if the nightmares came back all the time?

**$%%%$##**

Elliot had taken Olivia to her appointment.

"Hi Olivia. Good to see you again, and Elliot. How is it going?"

"Well..." Olivia wasn't sure how to bring this up. "I was sexually assaulted a year ago, and found out I had a stalker a couple weeks before I knew I was pregnant. I had thereapy. I haven't had nightmares in a month. Is there any way they would just reappear because of pregnancy?"

"First of all, I am very sorry to hear what you have been through. It is very possible that your nightmares are resurfacing because of the pregnancy and hiding your fears. Are you scared of becoming a mom and wife?"

"I...I guess you could say that, yes. El, remember I told you the therapist said it could happen at any major milestone?"

"Yes how could I forget?" He was holding her hand.

"Olivia, let me ask you something. Have you been having weird dreams as well?," Dr. Taylor asked.

She didn't hesitate. "Yes!" She almost laughed thinking about the weird dreams she had had over the past month.  
>"That is normal as well, so nothing to worry about there. Olivia, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you may have to go to your therapist and talk it out."<p>

"I figured as much," Olivia said.

"So, let's check out that baby of yours. Go ahead and lay down."

Dr. Taylor squirted the gel and Olivia squirmed. Elliot chuckled. She started searching over Olivia's stomach, finding what she was looking for. "Right there. See it?," she said, pointing to where it was on the monitor.

Elliot and Olivia looked in awe at what was happening. They created this life. This tiny thing was going to be a baby, their baby.

**#$%^&^%$#**

A few days later, Olivia took Elliot to go dress hunting with her. Even though it was not traditional to take your fiancee with you, she thought it was fair because he needed to have an opinion. He was the one who was going to rip it off on their wedding night. They had set a date, for exactly 3 months after they had met. One of the reasons was so Olivia's bump wasn't so big, and the other was because they wanted it. It was quick, but they knew each other already, inside and out, and they knew they wanted to be with each other for the rest of their lives.

"Oh my-" Elliot tried speaking when he saw Olivia in the third dress of the day. "That's..." he got choked up.

"Is this the one?" She was smiling at him.

He nodded his head. "It's sexy, and you look beautiful, which you always look sexy and beautiful, and this just accentuates how sexy you are."

"And this one can be tailored as I need it, becuase I don't know when baby Stabler here will want to grow and make my stomach, thighs and ass larger."

He laughed. "I love your curves." He got up and kissed her.

This was it. These steps that were being taken was so they could start their life together.

**#$%^&&^%$# **

**i am going to time jump again, this time almost 2 months, so i can get to...the wedding/honeymoon. :) whose excited? lol. **


	49. Forever

**i am doing another time jump, to their wedding day :D haha. i see those smiles. dont deny it ;) lol.**

**#$%%$##**

This is what Elliot and Olivia had waited for since that one night of being together.

They had done the traditional separation the morning of the wedding. They wouldn't see each other until their vows. Olivia had Alex as her maid of honor. Elliot had Fin as his best man. Everyone had become really close to each other in the last few months.

"Olivia, it's stunning," Alex said as she helped Olivia slip her dress on. Her baby bump was hugged perfectly by the shape of the dress. Olivia's shape filled it out beautifully.

Alex helped Olivia do her hair. She did loose curls for Olivia's long hair, then she put it up into a pinned bun using bobby pins.

"Why are we spending so much time on my hair when it is going to be ruined later?," Olivia laughed.

"Because you have pictures that it won't be messed up for. Your gonna need these to remember this day."

"I'm gonna remember this day forever, with or without pictures." Olivia smiled as she looked at herself in the mirror. She thought about forever with Elliot and that made her more excited. She was excited this day was finally here. She couldn't help the butterflies in her stomach. She was nervous, and the baby was not helping.

She started doing her makeup. She went very basic and natural. She didn't want it to look like she had 10 pounds of makeup on.

Elliot was in a separate part of the church getting ready. Fin was in there for support.  
>"Look at our Stabler, all grown up," Fin said sarcastically.<p>

"Yeah yeah yeah," Elliot waved at him. He stood in front of the mirror and finished getting his bow tie done. He could have sworn his heart was going to come out of his chest. He had been married before, but not to a woman he truly loved. Olivia did this to him every time he saw her. He couldn't wait to say his vows and vow to her that he would be there with her no matter what. He thought about forever, and smiled.

It was time. Elliot took his spot at the altar with the priest. He felt like he was ready to faint, and couldn't imagine what she felt like.

First, Fin and Alex walked out and took their spots.

"Here Comes the Bride" started playing and everyone stood up to see the most breathtaking sight. Olivia, in her white dress, hugging every part of her body perfectly. It had a very short train on it, just enough to cover her feet and drag on the floor. Elliot couldn't breathe. He got choked up. He hadn't seen the dress since the day they bought it. She looked more beautiful to him every day. She had tears in her eyes as well.

She got to the altar. "I love you," he mouthed.  
>"I love you," she mouthed back.<p>

They grabbed each other's hands.

The priest started speaking.

"Welcome. Today we are gathered to honor the bond of two people..." They kept staring into each other's eyes as he finished the introductions. They barely heard him.  
>"I understand you two have written your own vows?"<br>"Yes Father," Elliot said. He couldn't wipe the grin off of his face.  
>"Can I have the rings please?" Alex and Fin gave him the rings and he proceeded to hand Elliot and Olivia the rings. "Elliot do you want to go first?"<p>

"Yes." He inhaled sharply then started.

"Olivia, from the first day I met you, I didn't think this was possible. Us, this day. You are one of the strongest people I have ever met, if not the strongest. You have gone through so much and each time you come out a new and inspiring person. You are my rock. From the first moment we kissed, I knew you were my forever. I didn't want to spend it with anyone else. And now, we are bringing this new life into the world and I know for a fact, you are going the best mom you can be. This child is going to be very lucky to have you. I know I am. I promise to take care of you, cherish you, be there for you, for better or worse. I promise to never let anything happen to you. I love you."  
>He slid the ring on her finger.<p>

She let her tears fall. It was her turn to tell him what he meant to her.  
>"Elliot, you are my everything. You are there to see me at my worst, and you are there to see me at my best. You are the person that I can tell anything to, and know that you are going to be there for me. When my world is falling apart, your there to catch me when I'm falling. From the moment we met, I knew I wanted this. I wanted to be here with you, at this place we are now, and I know we are going to be eachother's forever. You have been more than my work partner, you are my best friend, my strength, my everything. I promise to love you. I know you are going to be a great dad. We can do anything. I love you."<p>

She slid the ring on his finger, and he let a few tears fall.

"By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride." Before he even finished speaking, Elliot had his mouth on her and his arms around her.

By far, this was the most passionate kiss they had ever shared. In that moment, they passed their love to the other. Everyone was on their feet. They had their closest colleagues and some family there. They didn't have very much because Olivia had no family and Elliot had his mom and her siblings.

They stopped their kiss before it wasn't appropriate for church anymore.

Their reception was being held in a fancy hall a few minutes from the church. Elliot led Olivia to a limo that he had special for them. They were very close to having sex in the backseat but it was a short lived ride.

Everyone arrived before them.  
>The DJ announced them.<br>"Ladies and gentleman, please welcome Mr. and Mrs. Elliot Stabler!"

Elliot and Olivia had their first dance as a couple. The song that played was "I Don't Want this Night to End" by Luke Bryan. It was the song that Elliot sang at the chinese restaurant, and it wasn't a sappy slow song. It started slow but then it picked up, It meant a lot to them, and the words spoke perfectly to them. Elliot sang it to her, and she laughed just as much as she had that night at the restaurant. People were staring at them like at the restaurant, but for a different reason. Everyone in the room saw the love they shared.

Elliot and his mom danced together while Cragen danced with Olivia, happy to see her where she was, despite going through everything.

After the reception, Elliot had taken Olivia into the limo and she didn't even care where they were going.

Elliot had a plan.  
>"Let's go home Liv," he said.<br>"Back to the apartment is fine," she said while undoing his shirt.

"I have a different plan."

About 20 minutes later after a quickie in the limo, they arrived in Queens in front a beautiful house. And Liv was wondering what they were doing.

"El.."  
>"Welcome home. We needed a bigger place with the baby on the way, and I know this is what you wanted. This house has a backyard, and it has enough room for a family. I had movers come in and move everything in today while we were at the wedding. We have to go shopping for some furniture and baby things, but for the most part, it's already our new home. You wanna see it Mrs. Stabler?"<p>

"Mrs. Stabler. I could get used to that. I love you El." She smiled and kissed him. They went into their new house.  
>They had their clothes shed before they reached the bedroom.<p>

"I love you El." She couldn't say it enough tonight.  
>"I love you Mrs. Stabler," he said as he kissed his way over every part of her body. He rested his hand on her baby bump. "I love you too," he said to her bump and kissed it.<p>

He slid two fingers into her as he kissed her. Within seconds her muscles clenched around him. She screamed his name over and over. He kissed his way down to her center and attached his mouth to her clit as he continued his ministrations with his fingers. A second orgasm followed the first. "Fuck El! God!" She thrashed and her hips lifted off of the bed. She couldn't think.

He extracted his fingers and quickly replaced it with his hardened member. He licked her juices off of his fingers and kissed her as he slowly entered her. She tasted herself in his mouth and he moved slowly. He wanted to make this moment last forever. "I love you," he said moving slowly.

"I love you El." They kissed as they made passionate love.

After an hour, and 2 more orgasms for her, he sped up his pace.  
>"Fuck," he seethed. They both started moaning louder and calling each other's names feverishly. He reached down and swiped her clit. Her nails dug into him again. She gripped him within her one last time and he released, collapsing next to her, stilling inside of her.<p>

"I love you Mrs. Stabler." He stroked her face as they stared at each other.  
>"I love you Mr. Stabler."<p>

They cuddled up and went to sleep.

**#$%^&*(*&^%$# **

**AWWWW! :) up next another time jump! :D**


	50. Perfection

**this time jump is a bit more excessive lol. i jumped 5 months so she is now almost 9 months preggers ;) she is a week away from her due date.**

**#%^&%$%$**

Olivia laid on the couch, miserable, because of her body being sore. She felt like she was about to explode from being so large. Elliot came over and brought her some hot chocolate and sat at her feet.

"Thanks babe," she said sipping it thankful he was now waiting on her. He started rubbing her feet. "Ahh!," she almost screamed. He looked at her concerned. She clarified for him. "It's a good pain El." She laughed. "As much as I love being pregnant, I can't wait for this little one to come out."

"Have you thought anymore about names?"

"Well considering I've had 3 weeks of nothing but laying down on the couch and or bed, that's all I've thought about."

"And...?" he asked anxiously.

"Since we didn't find out if it's a boy or girl, I made a list with names I like for girls and boys." He moved his hands up to her calves and started massaging.  
>"Oh my god that feels amazing El. I haven't chosen one for sure. For a boy I like Christopher Eli, Zachary Eli, or Alexander Eli. I want him with your middle name or named after you. Elliot Christopher sounds cute too. Girls I haven't put as much thought into. I like Jessica, Emily, or Sarah."<p>

He paused. "You really wanna name a boy after me?," he was getting a bit choked up.

"Yes El," she said softly. "Elliot is a cute name," she laughed.  
>"I would like if one of those girls had the middle name Marie, like yours. Olivia doesn't really go. Unless you want a girl named after you."<br>"No, I like the names I have. I don't want a mini me literally running around," she laughed.

Suddenly, she had a sharp pain, which was happening alot lately and not unusual for someone this close to their due date. Then it felt like she had peed her pants.  
>"Liv," Elliot panicked. "What's happening?"<p>

"I think my water just broke," then another pain. "Contraction," she squeezed his hand. "We have to go! NOW!" she yelled, partially from the pain, partially from the panic and adrenaline she felt going through her body.  
>It was 8 30 at night.<p>

Elliot was instantly on the phone with Cragen telling him the good news. Cragen said he would let the others know.

Elliot put the police light on top of the car and sped to the hospital. Olivia clung to him walking into the hospital. Eventually he picked her up and carried her in. He set her in the first wheelchair he saw.  
>"HEY!" He yelled at the receptionist. "I need a room! My wife is in labor!"<br>"Sir, can you tell me how far apart her contractions are?"

"5 minutes. It's been about 30 minutes since her water broke."  
>"We have a room right there," the receptionist said calmly. She pushed Olivia while Elliot grabbed her hand.<p>

"AHH! Fuck!," Olivia screamed in agony.

Dr. Taylor arrived 20 minutes later ready to go.  
>"Okay have your contractions gotten any closer together?"<br>"I don't know! All I know is it hurts like hell!," Olivia yelled.

Elliot was keeping track. "Their still about 5 minutes apart!"  
>"Olivia, I'm going to check how dilated you are, okay?," the doctor said, positioning her chair in front of Olivia to check. "It looks like you are about 4 centimeters dilated right now. We need at least 8 before you can start pushing. Are you going to want an epidural?"<p>

"I haven't thought about that!"  
>"Breathe Olivia, just like the classes," Elliot was trying to calm himself down as well. "In out, that's it. Good job Liv!"<br>As much as Olivia wanted the epidural, she hated needles. "I don't want the epidural. SHIT!" The contractions she was felt like they were ripping her insides apart.

"Okay, that's fine. I will be right outside if you need anything. Don't hesitate to call the nurse if you need something. Otherwise I will be checking in on you guys every half hour to see where we're at."

Olivia continued her breathing. It felt like an eternity with all of her contractions. They were getting closer together.

"Liv, I'm right here."

Olivia exploded on him. "SHUT UP ELLIOT! YOU DID THIS TO ME! I HATE YOU!," she was yelling, not truly meaning it. She was frustrated.

Elliot knew she didn't mean it. Yes he did this to her, but it was the contractions talking. He couldn't imagine the pain she was going through.

Dr. Taylor came in 30 minutes later and checked. "Wow. You are about 6 centimeters dilated already. Are her contractions getting closer."  
>"Yes. They are now 3 minutes apart," the nurse said.<p>

"Olivia you're doing great. At this rate by midnight you should have a baby. Keep breathing. Nurse, come get me if something changes. I'll be back to check in a bit."

"FUCK!" She threw her head back against the pillow. Her contractions were getting much closer and hurting like hell. She squeezed Elliot's hand and tried shifting to get more comfortable. It didn't work.

"Here you go Liv," Elliot said as he put a cold washcloth on her head. She was starting to sweat from the stress in her body.

Another eternity passed before Dr. Taylor checked in on her again.

"Okay Olivia, you're about ready to start pushing. You're 8 centimeters already. Your contractions are 2 minutes apart. We have to wait for your contractions to get closer before you start pushing. I'm going to set everything up and get nurses in here." She left but returned quickly. Now it was a waiting game for Olivia's contractions to get closer together. Essentially, it could have taken forever.

It took two hours before her contractions were 30 seconds apart, close enough for her to start pushing.  
>"Elliot, can you grab this foot here?" Dr. Taylor asked. "You need to push it up as she pushes so it doesn't move." A nurse grabbed the other foot as Dr. Taylor sat in front of her.<p>

"Okay, Olivia, PUSH!"  
>Olivia pushed for 10 seconds as they counted down then relaxed. "Alright Olivia back at it! PUSH!," Dr. Taylor said. Olivia screamed in pain as she pushed with everything she had.<p>

Elliot was starting to cry as he saw his baby's head. "Liv! You're almost there baby!"  
>"Alright, one more big push Olivia! PUSH!" She yelled and cried and screamed on her last one, but their baby came out crying and screaming as loudly as Olivia was. She exhaled and smiled with relief as she cried tears of joy.<p>

"Congratulations! It's a boy! Dad, do you want to cut the umbilical chord?"  
>"Of course," he said as he cried.<br>Dr. Taylor handed him the surgical scissors to cut it and showed him where to cut it. He did, then instantly went and kissed Olivia. "I love you so much baby."  
>"I love you, too," she said, still trying to get the labored breathing back to normal.<p>

The nurses handed her her baby boy after cleaning him up, and Olivia felt like she had finally done something right, and it was being shared with the man she married. She knew she got that right too.  
>"Your baby boy is in perfect healthy guys. Congratulations."<p>

She looked down at her baby. "Elliot Christopher Stabler, I promise to never hurt you, and I promise that I will be the best mommy to you that I can be." Her baby boy was staring at her as she let her tears fall. She kissed his head gently. "He's got your eyes El."

"Yeah." Elliot didn't know what to say. "He's beautiful Liv."

She handed Elliot his son, and she saw his face light up as much as when the two of them met. Elliot leaned down to kiss her again.

The nurses came in a couple hours later to take the baby to the nursery so they could get a decent amount of sleep before they took their baby home. It would be at least 2 days because Olivia had to heal up.

**#$$%%^$%**

The two days passed by quickly. They were able to take their baby home. The car ride home was surprisingly quiet.  
>She looked back at her son sleeping in the backseat, then at Elliot. "El, I love you so much."<p>

"Liv, I love you too. Our lives are going to change so much now, not that they weren't changed already. Now we can be a family, though." He grabbed her hand.

When they got home they noticed an abundance of presents in the living room.  
>"I told them that you were having the baby and they must have all went baby happy with us," he chuckled.<br>"It's okay, we're going to need all those diapers eventually," Olivia said.

They showed baby Elliot around the house. His room was painted a baby blue color, a color that was suited for a boy or a girl, and decorated with pictures of their sonograms and Elliot and Olivia's wedding pictures.  
>"I can't wait to fill this room with pictures of all of us," Elliot said.<br>"Me neither." Olivia smiled at him.

Olivia stood with Elliot with her baby in her arms. "Perfect," she whispered.  
>"I know you are."<br>She chuckled. "I meant you and him, but thanks. I look like a bloated whale."

"You're beautiful Liv." He kissed his baby and her and hugged them. "Never in my dreams would I have imagined my life would be this good."

"This isn't a dream, it's reality. I would have never have thought that I would be this lucky to have you in my life," Olivia said as she kissed him.

"I love you Liv, so much."

"I love you too El. Oh and I'm sorry for yelling at you in the hospital."  
>He laughed. "I knew it was the pain talking."<br>"You have no idea how painful that was, but it's all worth it now as I look at him."

They both smiled at eachother. Their lives were truly perfect at that moment.

**%&#%^&$**

**So I had to make the birth somewhat realistic! ive never had a baby. but i have watched plenty of shows of it and know its not a 1 2 3 snap kinda thing like in movies. and 4 hours is a really short labor! i realize this lol. the name came to me as i was writing the chapter! i thought it was brilliant that Elliot Christopher went together. his name with his character's name. call me a genius now! haha. jk. well. this is it. one more chap, then the story is gonna be finished. :(**


	51. It was meant to be

**Well, I guess this is it :/ im gonna miss writing this story. but all good things have to come to an end! thanks to whomever has been reading and reviwing. i will be working on my next story shortly. :)**

**#$%^&*^%$#**

It had been 6 months since Eli had been born. Olivia and Elliot adjusted to life as working parents. They would drop the baby off with Elliot's mom, since she had decided to start taking medication, and they would work. They were still partners, but Olivia was rarely in the field anymore.

Olivia was also only working part time so she could be home with the baby most of the week. She couldn't believe it had been 6 months already.

"Hey Liv, I'm home."

"Hey babe," Olivia said, not looking up from Eli.

He walked over to the couch and kissed Olivia and Eli. She handed him to Elliot. Elliot handed her a bouquet of flowers. "El, their beautiful. Thank you." She kissed him again. "But, why?"

"Do I have to have a reason for bringing my wife flowers? Okay. Cheesy line. Their beautiful, like you." He grinned. "You're right that was cheesy, but thank you," she smiled softly at him.

"You're getting so big..." Elliot said in awe while looking at his son.

"He was always big," Olivia laughed. "He was 7 pounds, 10 ounces. He's growing up so fast though. Before we know it, he'll be in college."

"Let's not get to far ahead of ourselves Liv," Elliot laughed but was serious. He was savoring every moment of this.

"I have to say, since I had him I haven't really had any nightmares. I thought it would get worse with time. I think that part of my life is finally behind me," she said relieved and somewhat in a state of shock.

"I hope that it is, too. You hear that little guy? Hear how strong and brave your mommy is?," Elliot told his son, who just stared at him with the same blue eyes Elliot had.

Elliot rocked his son back and forth until he drifted to sleep. Elliot put him in his crib and came out to join Olivia on the couch. They started kissing. Every time they kissed it reignited their love and passion for each other.

Olivia moaned and Elliot started taking her pants off. With a baby in the house their sex happened whenever Eli was asleep and when they weren't truly exhausted.

Elliot had positioned himself at her entrance. He entered her smoothly and kissed her. She moaned into his mouth as he moved. He hit a spot within her that drove her wild. She clenched around him. He brought his hand down to her clit and swiped over it, causing her orgasm to hit shortly after. He caught her moans in his mouth as he kissed her. His release came quickly after a few thrusts.

"I love you El."

"I love you Liv." He continued kissing her.

They heard Eli start to cry.

"Time for baby," Olivia quipped.

Elliot moved off of her so she could get dressed. He quickly zipped his pants up and went in to get the baby.

Olivia watched as Elliot fed him and burped him. Then he changed his diaper and rocked him back to sleep. She was amazed by the man she had married. He was perfect.

Elliot was thinking the same thing about Olivia. She was everything he ever wanted. After everything they had been through together, he knew they could get through anything, as long as they had each other.

Elliot resumed his position on the couch next to her after putting Eli back in the crib.

"Ya know El, if you would have told me this is where I would be in life 2 years ago, I would have called you insane."

"If you would have told me that I would be falling in love with the perfect woman I would have called you delusional," he laughed.

She hit him in the arm.

"Still have a hitting problem?," he asked with the classic Stabler grin on his face. "That's like me asking you if you're still a horndog." She looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Both are true." He continued grinning.

He quickly had her pinned on the couch, hands above her head.

"What the hell?," she asked annoyed. She knew exactly what he was planning, but was hoping it wasn't true. "You're still a rookie. That's what. Still haven't learned your lesson."

He started tickling her.

"El!" She squealed. "SHHH! Baby's sleeping," Elliot said in sarcasm. "All you have to do is say it." He continued tormenting her.

"Jesus! St-Stop! I'm so-sorry!" She tried saying everything she could to get out of the predicament she put herself in.

"That's a good answer, but not what I'm looking for," he said as he went for her neck, causing her neck to go into her shoulders.

She couldn't take anymore. "Mercy!," she hissed.

"Much better." He got off of her as she sat up. She tried going after him, but he dodged the move. "I'm not a rookie Liv." He grinned.

"I'll get you back."

"Sure you will, rookie," he intentionally kept saying it to piss her off.

She was definitely going to get him back. "Payback's a bitch El."

"That's if you can get me back."

"I'm smarter than you think. Oh and El?" she had to tell him something.

"Yeah?"

"I'm pregnant," she told him with a serious face.

He looked at her, shocked and pale as could be. "What?" He was shocked because they had taken precautions for this not to happen for a little while. As much as he wanted another baby, it was too soon. "For real Liv?"

"Yes El, for real."

"Well, have you called the doctor?" "Nope."

"Why not?," Elliot asked concerned.

"Because I'm not really pregnant." She said casually.  
>He exhaled with a sigh of relief. "Don't do that."<p>

"Oh, but I'm just a rookie remember?" She laughed as the color returned to his face. "I told you El. Payback's a bitch. You should have listened. What's the score? Benson 20, Stabler 19?"

"Yes," he said with the sound of defeat in his voice. She just laughed and cuddled up to him as they watched tv.

They had everything they ever wanted. She would always be the rookie that he fell in love with, he would always be her safety and security that helped her find herself. They were each others strengths. To them, this was all a dream. It was a dream that had blended into their reality, all of it happening because of a rookie that had walked into SVU.

**#$%^&*&^%$**

**That's it! Wow this is surreal lol. Exactly 1 month ago I posted this story and i finished it. hopefully the ending wasn't to cheesy..haha. thank you all so much again for reading/reviewing! i really appreciate it :)** **see you in the next story :D **


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